


STAGES OF PROGRESS

by teaandbiscuitsforme



Series: STAGES [5]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: 2020, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Baby Fic, Coronavirus, Cute Kids, F/M, Fluff, Lots of Angst, Marriage, Modern Era, Morgana is pregnant, Morgause is a Bitch, No Angst, No Smut, Pregnancy, Weddings, morgause gets the punch she deserved, okay I lied, pregnant morgana, there is angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:35:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 41,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28547214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teaandbiscuitsforme/pseuds/teaandbiscuitsforme
Summary: The wedding had come around at last. They were finally at peace, at last. Good news after good news, at last. Things would finally be OK, or so they hoped. Yet not everything will be easy, as the decade turns Merlin and Morgana find themselves in life changing situations, especially once a virus mitigates its way around the world causing a worldwide global pandemic. Part 5 of STAGES
Relationships: Cenred/Morgause (Merlin), Leon/Mithian (Merlin), Merlin/Morgana (Merlin), Mordred & Morgana (Merlin), Morgana & Morgause (Merlin)
Series: STAGES [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913146
Comments: 22
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to part 5 of the STAGES series! This part is the longest so far, and will go into 2020 too so all that stuff...updates on Monday, Wednesday and Friday as usual. Hope you all enjoy!

  
**I survived a dreadful accident in the car crash, of the century. My shattered hopes collapsed on cold cement—but in the back of the ambulance—I’d never felt to content! A high speed collision brought a new sense of sight to me, and now my vision will render the scene. A blurry image of wreckage and roadside debris. Happiness returned to me through a grave emergency**

_16th November 2019_

Merlin lay in bed with a smile on his face. His alarm hadn’t gone off yet, but he was simply too excited. The day had arrived—his wedding day. He hadn’t imagined it’d be like this, that he’d be eloping with Morgana of all people—but now? He couldn’t imagine it any other way. He rolled over in bed to face his fiancée, she was awake too with a slight smile on her face. 

“Good morning” she grinned. 

“How long have you been awake?” Merlin asked. 

“Not long” Morgana replied. “You?”.

“Around ten minutes” Merlin smiled. “Should I go get Amhar? Baby cuddles”.

“Can’t believe you’ve even had to ask” Morgana chuckled. “We _always_ need baby cuddles”.

Merlin quickly got Amhar and went back into bed with the baby, he lay down with his knees bent up and sat Amhar down on his knees. 

“Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall” Merlin sang, separating his knees as Amhar fell with a giggle. 

“All the kings horses and all the kings men, couldn’t put Humpty together again” Morgana sang as Amhar crawled over to her, sitting with his legs out. 

“Row row row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily merrily merrily, life is but a dream” Morgana sung. 

“I guess we should get out of bed then” Merlin sighed. 

“Special wedding breakfast?” Morgana asked. 

“You’ll have to wait and see” Merlin smirked. “Can you do his nappy?”.

“If I must” Morgana rolled her eyes and grinned. “Well, let’s do this. Let’s get married”. Merlin made his way downstairs to start making breakfast, while Morgana took Amhar to get his nappy changed and make up his cot (or, hang his gro-bag off the side of it) before going down. 

“And this is our amazing wedding breakfast” Merlin grinned. “Sunny side up egg with toast, and a lovely kale and avocado smoothie”. 

“That’s nice” Morgana smiled as she went to the conservatory and strapped Amhar in his highchair. After breakfast, Merlin’s parents would be soon arriving—at around ten, and they’d woken up at seven so had _just about_ enough time to get ready. Morgana had taken the bedroom and en-suite so she could do her hair and makeup, leaving Merlin to the nursery and the family bathroom. Amhar played with his toys in his cot while both Merlin and Morgana showered, then Merlin stayed in his dressing gown while giving the baby a bath, Morgana getting her hair and makeup done. She’d put her hair at the front back with a pearl clip, curling her hair that remained loose at the back. She kept her makeup simple and light—silver eyeshadow, eyeliner, red lipstick and some blush and highlighter. 

Something old—she put her shoes on. Something new—her dress lay out ironed on the bed. Something borrowed—she put her mum’s earrings in. Something blue—her Victoria’s Secret bra and thong. Alongside a sapphire heart-shaped pendant, given that she wanted something blue to be somewhat visible too. Morgana put her outfit on and looked at herself in the mirror. She checked the time—10 o’clock. The photographer would be arriving soon. Her phone buzzed, _Merlin. ‘Photographers here. Time to come down now’._ Morgana smiled and placed her phone in her bag. While it was slightly nicer than her usual bag, it wasn’t the _most_ fancy one given that they were keeping things simple. 

Morgana tossed her hair over her shoulder, turned off the bedroom and hallway light and walked down the stairs. She posed on the stairs with a smile as she saw Merlin at the bottom of the stairs carrying Amhar, alongside the photographer. After taking a few photos she made her way down to the bottom of the stairs and held out her hand for Merlin. 

“You look beautiful” Merlin smiled as he took her hand and kissed it. 

“So do you” Morgana smiled. “My two boys!” She kissed Amhar’s cheek leaving her lipstick imprinted on his face. Morgana took some photos with Amhar as they stood by the white wall of the hallway, then by herself followed by photos with Merlin. They stood together as a family, Amhar in Morgana’s arms and they laughed with Merlin next to them, kissing the baby’s cheeks and Merlin throwing Amhar in the air. Merlin had also taken some photos and they took some photos in front of the door and with Hunith and Balinor too, before they left for the registry office. 

  
Given that Morgana had a VW Polo and Merlin had a VW Golf, they _weren’t_ the most fancy cars, Hunith and Balinor had decided that they’d rent them a Range Rover for the day, and picked it up from the hire company before making their way to the house. 

“Now _that_ is fancy” Merlin whistled as he saw the car. 

“Thank you so much for this” Morgana smiled. “It’s nice to have this for a change”. They stood by the car and posed for their photos, then Merlin went to his car so that he could get Amhar’s car seat out and move it into the other car. Removing it from his car was easily enough; unclip the seatbelt and pull it out of the base, pick up the car seat and strap it in the other car. As for getting it into the other car— _that_ was the problem.

Merlin plonked the seat in the middle seat and extended the seatbelt, pushed it under the seat and clicked it in then tightened it, wiggling the seat from side to side to make sure it was in securely. 

“I don’t think that’s secure enough” Morgana drawled as she pulled on the seat’s straps. The car seat quickly went forward and jiggled loosely— _clearly_ not installed properly. “The belt doesn’t look like it’s in the right place either”.

“You’re right” Merlin sighed as he uninstalled it, then put the belt through the belt holders underneath the seat and made sure to get his knee into the seat to make it tight. Out of breath once more, Merlin shuffled the seat from side to side. 

“Sorry guys” Merlin apologised sheepishly. 

“Take your time” Hunith smiled. “Doesn’t matter. Better keep the baby safe”. Merlin grunted as he pushed the seatbelt into the seat once more, finding a button soon afterwards that made the seat shell flip forwards leaving an open base. 

“Aha!” Merlin gasped. “I think this is it”. Merlin extended the belt, held it together and put both parts of the seatbelt through the guides. 

“Still seems a bit loose” Morgana frowned. “Why don’t you just Google how to install it on YouTube?”.

  
“You do it then” Merlin scoffed and grinned. He _couldn’t wait_ until Amhar wouldn’t need a car seat anymore, but then again he could. If only the manufacturers didn’t make them so bloody hard to install. 

“Merlin, put the lap belt through the guides” Morgana sighed as she watched the “installation for Britax King” video on YouTube. “Pull it tight, then put the shoulder belt through on top. Release the lever and push the seat back in, then shake it and put the seatbelt in the side part”.

“I ... am ... doing ... it” Merlin huffed. “There. I am _done_. Now let’s go”. Merlin was still out of breath for half of the drive to Albion. It turned out that installing a car seat in the car could somewhat do that to you. Morgana felt sick. She knew that her period was due in a couple of days and that nausea was a side effect of her PMS—or it could’ve been wedding nerves, yet this was simply _overwhelming_. 

As soon as they had arrived at the court and they had pulled over, Morgana immediately dashed out of the car and threw up in the nearest bushes with Merlin hot on her heels rubbing her back. 

“Are you okay?” Merlin asked once Morgana had finished being sick. 

“Just PMS” Morgana shrugged as she stood up. Hunith rushed over with some water and tissues while Balinor took Amhar out the car and ran over with the baby bag. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Hunith checked. 

“Positive” Morgana nodded as she put her brave face on. “Now, let’s go in”. She smiled at Merlin and held his hand as they walked into the courtroom, checking in at the desk and taking the lift up to level four—wedding level. They sat together holding hands, until their names were called by a registrar whom they followed into a room and sat down at a table. 

“We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Merlin and Morgana in marriage. I would like Merlin to say his vows first”.

“I, Merlin Emrys take Morgana Pendragon to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer for poorer” Melrin briefly stopped as he saw Morgana pale once more. Luckily Hunith had given Morgana a sick bag to keep in her bag just in case, as she buried her face in it while Merlin held back her hair. 

“In sickness and in health” Merlin continued shortly afterwards, to love and to cherish always”.

Morgana coughed and took a few sips of water before she started her vows. “I, Morgana Pendragon, take Merlin Emrys to be my husband from this day forward, to have and to hold, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish always”.

“I give you this ring as a symbol of our love” Merlin smiled as he slid the ring into Morgana’s finger. The same ring he had proposed with, given that they decided to not ‘do’ engagement rings. “To pledge my love for you now and forever”

“I give you this ring as a symbol of our love” Morgana smiled and wiped at her tears as she slid the ring onto Merlin’s finger. “To pledge my love for you now and forever”.

“I now pronounce you Mr and Mrs Emrys. You may kiss the bride”.

“Merlin” Morgana hissed, yet Merlin didn’t seem to care and leant in to kiss her regardless. 

“I can’t believe we’re married!” Morgana squealed as she looked down at the marriage certificate. 

“Me neither, wife” Merlin grinned as she hugged him. It was now time to get the adoption order—they’d have a combined order grant and celebration hearing, Hunith and Balinor had to wait in the waiting room as it was only parents and child allowed in the room. 

“Merlin and Morgana Emrys” Lamia said as she came out of one of the rooms. Merlin and Morgana smiled at each other and picked up Amhar, walking into the room behind Lamia and the judge. 

“Take a seat, take a seat” he smiled as he went through his paperwork. “It is good to see such a happy family”.

“Thank you” Morgana smiled while Amhar giggled. 

“How is it going?” He asked. 

“It’s been rather good” Merlin smiled. “We’ve all settled into family life well, and we’re looking forward to the new decade”.

“Obviously the circumstances leading to all this is devastating, but now we’re so happy and finally able to accept it all” Morgana added. 

“You two just need to sign here, and here” Lamia said watching as they signed the official forms. 

“By the power vested in me, I declare Morgana and Merlin Emrys the legal parents of Amhar Tom Emrys. Congratulations, here is the certificate of adoption”. Merlin and Morgana were given the adoption certificate in a large envelope. They took some photos in the judges chair before leaving the room with grins on their faces to Hunith and Balinor in the waiting room. 

“It went well then?” Hunith asked. 

“It did! It sure did” Merlin beamed. 

“Well, I don’t know about you all but I am _starving_ ” Morgana said. “How about we all head out for some lunch?”.

“That sounds good” Balinor agreed. “We could all use some food”. 

“Foof” Amhar said with a grin. 

After lunch and Hunith and Balinor left, Merlin and Morgana were alone with their son for the first time. Amhar wasn’t simply their nephew anymore, the adoption process had ended and they were now parents. _Officially parents_. 

“This has been such a good day” Merlin smiled. 

“It has” Morgana agreed. “Adoption day, wedding day. Come over here, will you?”. Merlin was washing up in the kitchen so put down the pots and went over to the conservatory. 

“What _are_ you doing?” Merlin asked as he scratched at his head. 

“Come on, this is fun” Morgana grinned. She had a piece of A3 paper on the table, Amhar had his handprint in baby blue paint in the middle, Morgana’s hand was covered in purple and she had some green on the side. “Happy anniversary and adoption date” Morgana grinned as she and Merlin put their hands down. The next chapter of life had just begun and so far, it was _brilliant_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, I’m no parent, but I’ve had to move a car seat from one car to the other before and it is EXHAUSTING! I was going to the gym regularly and still ended up winded! Also wanted to add, today is the one year anniversary since I finished watching Merlin for the first time too!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop de whoop, England is back into lockdown 3.0. So looks like I’m going to be writing quite a lot between online classes and work (if I have to go in)

  
**I can’t fight this feeling any longer. And yet I’m still afraid to let it flow. What started out as friendship has grown stronger—and I only wish I had the strength to let it show. And I can’t fight this feeling anymore. I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for. It’s time to bring this ship into the shore; and throw away the oars forever. Cause I can’t fight this feeling anymore. And even as I wander, I am keeping you in sight. You’re a candle in the window on a cold dark winter’s night. And I’m getting closer than I ever thought that I might**

_17th November 2019_

Morgana woke up with a smile and she stretched. Normally, she wasn’t even remotely a morning person yet at this moment in time, she just _didn’t care._ Merlin was awake watching her with a smile, the baby still asleep in the middle. 

“Good morning, wife” Merlin smiled. 

“Good morning husband” Morgana greeted. 

She rolled over and checked the time: eight o’clock. Her body clock had _truly_ adjusted to the back to school timeline, and while she didn’t mind it that much, she’d rather have been asleep for a couple more hours. Ah, it wasn’t just her biological clock, her stomach wouldn’t stop twisting and turning in a nauseating way. 

The _downside_ of being a teacher ( _and_ having a toddler in nursery)—you’d be bound to pick up _everything_. Since the academic year had started in September, she’d already picked up a cold, a sick bug, tonsillitis, and a slight cough. Amhar had a constant streaming nose that was _probably_ going to last _all_ winter, and had already had a bad case of bronchiolitis requiring hospitalisation with oxygen on the High Dependency Unit yet he bounced back quickly, not to mention the colds and sick bugs. 

“You sleep okay?” Merlin asked. 

“I did” Morgana smiled. “You?”.

“There is nothing nicer than waking up to your new wife” Merlin smiled. “Except, you know. Remembering that Amhar wouldn’t stop crying halfway through the night”. Amhar went to bed at his usual time of seven o’clock, and Merlin and Morgana enjoyed their evening having their wedding night sex well into the early hours of the morning. By the time they’d actually gone to sleep, Amhar had begun to cry and too tired to protest, they brought him into bed. 

“I know” Morgana agreed. “I don’t feel too well though. Probably need breakfast”.

“We should wake Amhar up then, otherwise his whole sleep schedule is messed up”.

Morgana nodded slightly before looking away as her face distorted. She could feel the nausea worsening. 

“Time to wake up Amhar” Merlin smiled as he gently shook Amhar, the tot smiling at Merlin while Morgana darted out of bed towards the bathroom. 

“Shit, you okay?”. He jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom after making sure that Amhar was on the floor so that he wouldn’t fall out of bed and hurt himself. 

“I’m fine” Morgana said, her voice hoarse as she gagged again and put her face in the toilet. 

“Uh oh!” Amhar gasped. He stood up and toddled to the bathroom, putting his small hand on Morgana’s cheek. “Uh oh!”.

“Uh oh indeed” Morgana agreed with a nod of her head as she removed Amhar’s hand off her face. She gratefully accepted the glass of water that Merlin had given her while Merlin took Amhar into the nursery to change his nappy. She quickly checked her phone—almost nine, time for breakfast. She could hear something sizzling in the pan so brushed her hair, washed her mouth with water and went down to the kitchen. 

“What’s for breakfast?” Morgana asked as she leant on the counter top where Amhar was sitting. 

“We’ve got eggs, toast and beans” Merlin smiled as he stirred the beans. “Also, we have those new Richmond vegan sausages, seeing as they are _finally_ in the shops now”. Earlier that year, one of the famous sausage companies had begun to make vegan products. Given that Morgana had been vegetarian since February 2018, she found having a meat-free lifestyle to be rather good, as did Merlin. When the new sausages had been released in September, they were almost _always_ sold out whenever Merlin and Morgana went to buy some, yet people had _finally_ stopped hoarding loads as the initial craze died down. 

“They look nice” Morgana smiled. “I’ll get on coffee and baby milk”. While usually, Morgana hated the smell of the formula, she was able to deal with it, yet this time it just made her gag. 

“Uh oh!” Amhar repeated. “Uh oh, mummy!”.

“You okay?” Merlin checked. 

“Probably Norovirus” Morgana shrugged. “Is it just me or does baby milk smell _awful_?”.

“Always has” Merlin said as he screwed the bottle lid on. He tipped his head back and squeezed the teat, a few drops falling onto his tongue. He coughed a few times, running to the sink and turning it on running his tongue under it. “That, is _rank_ ”.

Amhar giggled at Merlin and drank his bottle, lying himself down in Morgana’s arms and resting his head on her chest. 

“Drink some water” Morgana rolled her eyes and shook her head as she made up the coffee. “Shouldn’t we make the milk warm?” Morgana smiled at Amhar and plucked the bottle out of his mouth. 

“No!” Amhar said, taking the bottle out of Morgana’s hand and putting it back in his mouth. 

“Alright then” Morgana muttered as she sat down at the table with her coffee. “This coffee is _disgusting_ ”.

“Are you sure you didn’t put Amhar’s formula in the coffee?” Merlin chuckled as he sipped at his cup. “Tastes fine to me. And I just drank some formula”.

“Positive” Morgana shrugged. “I really, really hate getting the sick bug”.

“And the no work guilt” Merlin agreed. “Hopefully Amhar won’t get it”.

Morgana’s phone buzzed and she quickly checked it. _Your period is due to start soon._

“Hopefully” Morgana agreed. 

* * *

_18th November 2019_

Merlin had been rather happy to wake up next to Morgana, realising that she was now his _wife_. The morning before _nothing_ could compare to that feeling, waking up to his wife and son—until she had to get out. Yet he thought that she would be better and he would wake up to her again, only for her side of the bed to be cold. That wasn’t the most unusual thing, they’d often take turns in deciding who would get up with Amhar if he woke up early, and it was their first day back at work. While Morgana had decided to take on the name of Mrs Emrys, she had been yet to tell anyone else about their marriage. Officially, Morgana had planned to start using her new surname in the new year, yet she’d probably have to have a chat with Nimueh or Geoffrey at some point. Then there was telling Morgause—which could _easily_ go either way. 

“You’re already up?” Merlin asked as he rubbed at his eyes and walked into the kitchen. He saw her sat at the table in the conservatory, coffee cup full on the table while Amhar drank his milk out his bottle. 

Morgana nodded. “Feel so ill, couldn’t stay asleep. Thought it’d be more productive to get up. Didn’t sleep that well so trying to get as much caffeine in me as possible”.

“Morgana Emrys, did you wake up happily and not demanding coffee for once?” Merlin smirked. He loved the way _Morgana Emrys_ rolled of his tongue. 

“Is it just me or does it taste absolutely disgusting?” Morgana asked as she thrusted the mug into Merlin’s hands. “You try it”.

Merlin hastily took a sip. As usual, it tasted exactly as Morgana tended to have her coffee. White, no sugar and piping hot. “Tastes normal” Merlin shrugged. “What you eating?”.

“Probably plain toast” Morgana shrugged. “Amhar’s having his Rice Krispies and is _surprisingly_ feeding himself”.

“I’ll have some too” Merlin shrugged. “You going to drink that coffee?”.

“No. I’ll do my toast, you’d probably burn it”.

“Probably” Merlin agreed.   
  
They’d opted to go in separately, Merlin had a maths team meeting that was before school was due to start, while Morgana had to take Amhar into nursery. She knew that she looked dishevelled as hell, having to pull over twice to throw up. Yet she _wasn’t_ on death’s door, so dragged herself in regardless. 

“Well, I stopped at Costa on the way here and got myself an amazing Gingerbread latte!” Sefa exclaimed. “Do you want me to get you one next time?”.

“No thanks, coffee is gross” Morgana shrugged. 

“Since when did _you_ hate coffee?” Morgause scoffed. “I even made you one this morning, you know that’s rare for me”.

“Well I don’t want it” Morgana shrugged. “More for you”.

“Of course you don’t want it” Morgause muttered. 

“You not feeling well?” Sefa frowned slightly. “I mean, you _never_ go off coffee”.

“Pms, no big deal” Morgana shrugged. “Let’s not forget that I have a toddler in nursery who likes to pick up every single bug left right and centre. And some parents send in their _precious dahlings_ in until they’re on their death bed”.

“Sounds a bit like yourself then” Morgause muttered. “Going in to work while ill”.

“Yeah like it’s that easy to just take a sick day” Morgana retorted. “Anyway, need to go register my form. As do the rest of you. _See you later”_. She registered her form quickly before having to go back to her room for the first lesson of the day, free period. Morgause had her upper sixth years, Sefa had her second years. The free period was _extremely_ tedious, at first she began by double checking her lesson plan, yet she found herself feeling too ill to bother reading through it, laying her head down on the table instead. It was too loud. Too bright. Everything felt hazy, and while Morgana had tried to reach with the bile beginning to rise in her throat she just felt as though she _couldn’t_. 

Morgana found herself running to the toilet expelling her measly breakfast. She groaned as she rested her head against the wall. Today really wasn’t going well. She threw up twice more before someone began knocking on the door. 

“Please, I need a minute” Morgana called, sure that she wouldn’t be able to face anyone. 

“Morgana? It’s me, Mithian. What’s wrong?”.

“Nothing-“ She began to say, before reaching over the toilet dry heaving. Her body _insisted_ on expelling _everything_ it could, even though there wasn’t any food left. 

“Should I get Morgause? I can cover for her if you want”. 

“No it’s fine. I’m fine” Morgana said, rinsing her mouth with water. 

“Morgana, please open up” Mithian asked. She relented and let the older woman in, who shut the door behind her. 

“Morgana, you need to go home. You’re in no fit state to teach. I know you want to, but you cant”.

Although her mind screamed at her that she was fine to work, there would be no problem, the words coming out her mouth were extremely different. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Morgana sighed, standing up. 

“Nope” Mithian replied, popping the p. “Wednesday. At the earliest. Forty-eight hours thing. I’ll pack your things”.   
  
Morgana nodded in response, waiting outside while Mithian packed up her things, then allowed her to get back to her free period, not wanting to burden her. Morgana pulled over a few times sipping at water, finding herself throwing it straight back up. While her notifications began to came in, there was one she’d forgotten about. 

_Your period is due today_. Usually Morgana would get her period early in the morning right before work, leaving her in an absolutely foul mood given that she probably hadn’t slept the night before due to cramps. The night before as expected she hadn’t slept well, yet not due to cramps but nausea instead. She remembered back in the summer when she was pregnant. The overwhelming nausea that would not subside _at all._ At the time of the miscarriage, Morgana had been taking pregnancy tests every morning clinging on to the slightest glimmer of hope that she would still be pregnant, getting the more sensitive first response tests which came up with a line until she had the surgery, the clear blue one’s which would say ‘not pregnant’ or came up with a line ten minutes after taking the test instead of during the allocated recommended three minute slot. 

At home, Morgana kicked off her shoes and went straight up to the bedroom. She looked through her drawers, choosing one that would give a clear result—the word “pregnant” or “not pregnant”, given that she wasn’t sure about squinting at evaporation lines. She took the test and then set it on the side, washing her hands as she waited for the results to come through. 

* * *

Merlin didn’t usually pick Amhar up from nursery. Usually he and Morgana would go together, and he would tend to wait in the car while Morgana went in so that she could chat with the other mums. Amhar was happy to see his daddy picking him up though, sending him a toothy grin as he toddled over to Merlin. Morgana had already texted him earlier that day, telling him how she wasn’t feeling well and therefore had decided to go home. 

“Honey, I’m home” Merlin called as he removed his and Amhar’s shoes, walking through to the living room. Morgana was sat there, makeup free in some leggings and a hoodie, her phone propped up on the coffee table alongside a small wrapped box. 

“How you feeling?” Merlin asked. 

“Not too bad” Morgana shrugged. “Slightly better, I suppose. Mithian told me to not come in until Wednesday” she rolled her eyes. 

“What’s this?” Merlin smiled as he put Amhar down and walked over to the coffee table with him. 

“You’ll see” Morgana smiled as she joined then. She pressed the record button and watched as Merlin and Amhar and Merlin unwrapped it, revealing her Apple Watch box. 

“What’s this?” Merlin chuckled as he opened it up. Instead of an Apple Watch, a white stick with the word “pregnant” lay there. 

“Someone’s about to become a big brother” Morgana grinned. 

“You’re pregnant!” Merlin gasped. He quickly stood up and embraced Morgana. “You’re pregnant!”.

“I am” Morgana smiled. She wiped at her eyes, feeling them beginning to get wet. 

“We’re having a baby!” Merlin exclaimed. “Oh my gosh! When did you find out?”.

“I threw up at work, so decided to test when I got home. And as you can tell, it’s a big fat positive”. 

“I know that we said about trying but ... I didn’t _expect_ it to happen so _soon_ ”.

“Neither did I” Morgana admitted. “I thought we’d be trying for ages, months. Yet, here we are”.

“Having a baby” Merlin grinned. “This is the best feeling in the world. Better than when we first met, first kiss, realising we’re in love”.

“ _Nothing_ can compare to this” Morgana agreed. “Finding out that we’re having a child”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I work in a school and I always get everything from the kids sadly :(. Also had so much trouble getting hold of decent vegan sausages last year, they’d been sold out EVERYWHERE!


	3. Chapter 3

  
**We keep behind closed doors. Every time I see you I die a little more. Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls. It’ll never be enough. It’s obvious you’re meant for me, every piece of you it just fits perfectly. Every second every thought I’m in so deep, but I’ll never show it on my face.**

_18th November 2019_

“Urgh” Morgana groaned as she lay on the sofa. “Why do I have to feel so _shit_? Morning sickness can fuck right off to Jupiter”.

“Why Jupiter?” Merlin chuckled. “I guess I’ll be doing Amhar’s milk. Is it ok to put CBeebies on or will you cry at In the Night garden again?”. 

“I _always_ cry at in the night garden” Morgana pointed out. “Now that I’m hormonal, I’ll cry more. Well, ought to get used to it”.

“Nine months of this” Merlin grinned. “Nine whole months”.

“This due date calculator says that I am due on the twenty-eighth July 2020. So that works well with maternity leave”.

“It does” Merlin agreed. “I mean, seeing as you’re due in summer...I could take my paternity leave for the first two weeks of September”.

“Yeah, I suppose that _could_ work. We’ll figure it out, nine months and all. It’s still early days”.

“I know” Merlin said quietly. “I know. So how far along do you think you are?”.

“Based of my last period I’m around four weeks? I was six weeks and two days when I had my miscarriage. So until then, I’m laying low I suppose”.

“That’s okay. It feels good though, this secret that is just between us” Merlin smiled. 

“It does” Morgana agreed as she rested her hand on her stomach. “It really does. Now, to figure out how to _actually_ work with morning sickness”.

“Did you have it last time?” Merlin asked. 

Morgana grimaced at the memory. “Spent the parents evening with a sick bowl balanced in between my legs hoping not to throw up. Same with the expedition. I mean, I don’t know about you but I try to block out all of May”.

“I get you” Merlin sighed. “Sometimes it’s easiest to just forget what happened”.

“It is” Morgana agreed. 

“You staying up for tonight’s I’m a celebrity episode?”.

“Uh, duh” Morgana grinned. “Caitlyn Jenner is doing a bush Tucker trial. I don’t know who the others are, but _this_ I have to see”.

“No” Merlin disagreed as he picked up Amhar. “What we _need_ to see is Ant and Dec doing a bush Tucker trial”.

“That too” Morgana agreed. “Not that it’s happening any time this decade”.

“To be fair it is ending in less than two months” Merlin shrugged. “Let’s get the baby to bed, say night to Mummy, Amhar”.

“Night night mummy” Amhar grinned and put his hand on his mouth as he sent a blow kiss in Morgana’s direction. 

“Night Amhar” Morgana smiled. 

“Normally you call him baby?” Merlin asked uncertainly. 

“He’s not going to be the baby for much longer, is he?” Morgana raised an eyebrow as Merlin helped Amhar to climb up the stairs. Soon everything would change. Another baby, to have and to hold and to love. It was going to be a rollercoaster of nine months. 

“What do you think we should do for Christmas?” Merlin asked as they lay intertwined on the sofa, waiting for nine o’clock to roll around. 

“I was thinking your parents could come round?” Morgana suggested. “Depending on how things go, I’d like to tell them the news”.

“I’d like that” Merlin smiled. “So Christmas Day then? What about Morgause?”.

“She’ll live” Morgana rolled her eyes. “It’s our first family Christmas together. I want it to be special”.

“Me too” Merlin agreed. 

“We could do a Boxing Day walk in the Forest of Dean? Tell Morgause about our marriage and baby then, Catrina too”.

“Yeah. That’d be fun” Merlin smiled. “What about an early scan? I think it’d be good”.

“I’d like that too” Morgana agreed. “Maybe if we try and book one for Christmas Eve I think. Dylan said that his girlfriend is at Center Parcs for Christmas so he won’t be seeing her. We could get him to look after Amhar?”.

“He’d like that. This Christmas is going to be the _best_ Christmas ever!”.

“I think so too” Morgana smiled. 

“Guess what my mood was last Christmas”.

“What was it?” Morgana asked. 

“ _Last Christmas_ ” Merlin grinned. “Cause the Christmas before last Christmas—so last Christmas back then—I gave you my heart, then the very next day you pretty much gave it away”.

“Very funny” Morgana laughed and rolled her eyes. 

* * *

_20th November 2019_

“Okay, so I seem to have everything” Morgana grimaced. “Pregnancy sickness bands, anti nausea spray, Pregnacare max which I took last night, iron supplements, ginger tea, digestive biscuits, rich tea biscuits”.

“Ready to go back to work?” Merlin asked. 

“As I’ll ever be” Morgana shrugged. “Four weeks and two days. I can’t even remember how I survived last time”.

“Day by day” Merlin reminded her. “If you need to go home, you need to go home”.

“I know” Morgana sighed. “The _guilt_ ”.

“I know it’s hard, especially with the GCSE’s and mocks looming. Just three days to the weekend”.

“Any plans?”.

“Yeah, actually” Merlin smirked. “Frozen 2 is coming out on Friday. I managed to get us tickets to the 4:30 showing”.

“Great” Morgana false grinned. “Parenting life. _Love_ it”.

“Although I will say, the trailer for frozen 2 looks _much_ better than the original”.

“You’re not wrong” Morgana agreed. “I don’t know if it’s hormones or what, but ... I’m almost _excited_ to see it”.

“Parent life” Merlin rolled his eyes. “Now to find a car seat that doesn’t get you out of breath when installing. _That_ is exciting”.

“Apparently isofix is supposed to be easier” Morgana shrugged. “It’s expensive, but I guess we _could_ look into it for the next one”.

“We could” Merlin smiled. “Anyway, we’ll start heading over to work then. Amhar, come on!”.

“We go Mummy” Amhar smiled as he hugged Morgana’s leg. She would have picked him up, even though he was only 12kg Morgana only felt too weak to lift him up, even though her usual weights at the gym were twenty-five. Morgana ruffled his hair and smiled, she began to collect her things and get into the car with Merlin. 

“Just over three weeks to go” Morgause sighed as she leant in the door frame to Morgana’s classroom. The morning had been rather busy, both sisters having back to back lessons and Morgana arriving slightly later so they didn’t have a chance to talk until morning break. “I am _ready_ for a holiday”.

“Same here” Morgana sighed. Morgause had been smoking again, reeking of a mixture of coffee and tobacco. Morgana hoped that she’d leave soon enough. “You jetting off anywhere? Caribbean this time?”.

“No, why would I?” Morgause scoffed. “Already spent a lot on the Bahamas and Barbados. For now, I am staying in freezing cold England”.

“Good” Morgana smirked. “Oh, by the way. What are you doing for Christmas?”.

“Spending it with you ... _duh_ ” Morgause drawled. 

“No, you’re not actually” Merlin smirked as he stood in the hallway. “We’re spending it _together_ ”.

“We’ve already made our plans” Morgana shrugged. “We’re meeting you on Boxing Day. Walk in Forest of Dean?”.

“Fine” Morgause sighed with a pout. “No more family Christmases?”.

“Well, I suppose. Just well, Merlin and I would rather spend it just us two and the baby”.

“Well, we can make plans for Boxing Day then” Morgause shrugged. “Like you said. You’ve got a family of your own now”.

“Yeah” Merlin shrugged. “You going to see the new Frozen?”.

“Don’t be ridiculous” Morgause scoffed. “There is _no way_ I’m even going _near_ the cinema on Friday. Let it go was bad enough, I _dread_ to think what the new one would be”.

Merlin and Morgana exchanged a glance with a glint in their eyes. “Baby shark do do do do do do, baby shark do do do do do do, baby shark do do do do do do, baby shark”.

“No!” Morgause groaned as she hid her face in her hands and ran into the corridor. 

“Not baby shark” they heard one of the pupils groan, looking out in the corridor to see Lucy and Harriet leaning on the radiators. 

“It’s great” Harriet shrugged. “They even have an album on Apple Music”.

“There’s a baby shark album?” Morgana asked. 

“Yeah” Harriet replied. “All sorts of different baby shark. Pirates, Christmas. Etcetera”. 

“We should get that for Amhar” Merlin smirked as he leant on the door frame and looked down at Morgana. 

“We _need_ to” Morgana agreed. “Maybe we would’ve been able to keep him backwards longer instead of switching him forward facing at seven months”.

“He’s been forward facing since _seven months old_!” Harriet exclaimed. “That is _young_ ”.

“I thought that was normal?” Morgause frowned. 

“Nine months _I think_ ” Harriet shrugged. “Miles is eight and rear facing still”.

“Blimey!” Morgana raised her eyebrows. “Amhar _hated_ rear facing at six months old, no idea how he’d have gotten to one let alone _eight_ ”.

“To be fair, Miles is rather well behaved” Harriet shrugged. “I mean, he goes in the middle seat between Scarlett and I. At least neither of us are the poor sod in the middle between the car seat”.

Morgause and Morgana chuckled while Lucy checked their timetable. 

“Any idea what they new let it go for Frozen 2 is?” Morgause asked. 

“Oh yeah” Harriet piped up. “Into the Unknown! It is so good”. She looked around to make sure no strict teachers were there and began to play it. 

“My ears, my ears” Morgause grimaced. “But it’s better than let it go”.

“Anything is better than let it go” Lucy agreed. 

“What’ve we got?” Harriet asked. 

“Fucking e-safety upstairs” Lucy muttered. “Still got a little while and I need to defrost. It’s _freezing_ ”.

“If you say so” Harriet rolled her eyes. 

“Do you want a coffee?” Merlin asked Morgana. “I’m going to get another one before I head back”.

Morgana shook her head. “You _know_ I don’t want coffee”.

“Can I have a coffee, Mr Emrys?” Harriet joked. 

“Very funny” Merlin grinned and rolled his eyes. “See you at lunch?” He asked as he and Morgana quickly kissed. 

Morgana nodded and leant against the doorframe with her hand over her mouth. Feeling herself pale and become dizzy as the room spun, she pushed herself down to the floor as she tried her hardest not to gag. Morgause’s instincts kicked in. Luckily it was rare for her to have a sick kid, yet she quickly ran into the room and grabbed the bin, putting it under Morgana’s chin. 

“I told you they’re back together” Harriet insisted. 

“And _now_ I believe you” Lucy agreed. “Is she okay?”.

“I’m fine” Morgana insisted. 

“You’re not” Merlin rolled his eyes. “You just threw up. Come on, gotta go home”.

“Are you ever _not_ sick?” Morgause asked. Morgana couldn’t tell if she was joking or not. 

“I suppose I should go home” Morgana sighed. “I’ll be back tomorrow”.

* * *

_22nd November 2019_

Even though she still was suffering from never ending nausea, Morgana still dragged herself into work on Friday, opting to take the Thursday off. Friday was a more relaxed day, yet not for everyone—mainly the fifth form—given that the mock exams were approaching. This was a cause of stress and anxiety for many, even though mock exams weren’t _that_ important and no one bothered revising anyway seeing as they weren’t even important. 

After work that day, Merlin and Morgana picked up Amhar from nursery before heading to the cinema. Surprisingly even though they worked with teens, they ran into quite a few students there—mainly first formers yet Harriet was there with her younger brother. 

Amhar’s first movie went rather well. He was happy to sit there and watch it, not crying or talking amused by the movie. While he did begin to cry during “Into the Unknown”, he was otherwise well behaved so with Amhar asleep in his pram, Merlin and Morgana took him to another movie. Merlin was slightly uncertain yet Morgana insisted that she was _perfectly_ fine to go to the movies, even if she _did_ have to leave a few times throughout to run to the toilets, although they planned well with front row seats. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> December time, work stuff and someone’s suspicious!

  
**Where the North wind meets the sea. There’s a river, full of memory. Sleep my darling safe and sound. For in this river all is found. In her waters, deep and true. Lie the answers and a path for you. Dive down deep in to her song. But not too far or you’ll be frowned. Yes she will sing to those who head—and in her song, all magic flows. But can you face what you most fear? Can you face what the river knows?**

_30th November 2019_

Merlin and Morgana anxiously waited in the scan waiting room. Morgana was (naturally) worried about her pregnancy so had decided to book a private early scan as soon as possible. With her morning sickness as bad as it was, it was unlikely that Morgana would be able to keep her pregnancy a secret much longer—she’d already gone to the toilets many times, throwing up on the way there and having been given a sick bowl by the receptionist. She’d also booked a doctors appointment for Monday morning given that she was struggling to work, hoping for _some_ relief from the nausea. 

“Morgana Emrys?”. Merlin gripped Morgana’s hand and they exchanged a glance before they went in to the scan room, Amhar asleep on Merlin’s shoulder. Morgana and Merlin were briefly left alone so that Morgana could change into a sheet given that it had to be an internal scan. 

“I’m really sorry, I have really bad morning sickness” Morgana apologised sheepishly after she’d been sick again. 

“Don’t worry about it, we see it all the time” the sonographer reassured her. “Right, so let’s take a look. I gather you said you’re just under six weeks so let’s see what we can find”. Morgana winced as the probe was inserted between her legs. “There is the fetal pole”.

“Is my baby okay?” Morgana asked. 

“And there is the heartbeat” they smiled. “Nice and steady. It looks like a healthy baby”.

“Our baby” Morgana whispered as tears gathered in her eyes. 

“Oh my god!” Merlin gasped. “That’s...our baby”.

“Based of the last period you’re five weeks and six days, in-fact based of baby’s size you’re six weeks two days”.

“So I’m further ahead than I thought?” Morgana checked. 

“Baby is slightly bigger than the dates and it’s unusual to hear a heartbeat at this stage. Around the size of a pomegranate seed. I’d give an estimated due date of 25th July”.

“Last time they said that the baby was measuring at four weeks when I was six weeks and two days” Morgana gasped. “The baby’s OK then?”.

“Obviously, it’s still early. Yet for now, baby is okay. I’m going to take some pictures for you if you like?”.

“We’d _love_ that” Merlin smiled. 

“Also, I can’t do up my trousers anymore” Morgana added. “Even though I can’t stop throwing up. Is that normal?”.

“I suppose it depends. What was your pre pregnancy size?”.

“Normally I wear size four jeans or size six work trousers, yet I can’t do my jeans up. I mean, is that normal? I do tend to wear my jeans above my hips but now I can’t and I don’t know if it’s a cause for concern?”.

“Perfectly normal, nothing to worry about”.

* * *

_1st December 2019_

“Ready to get a tree then?” Merlin grinned. 

“I’ll stay home, I feel to _ill_ ” Morgana sighed. “Clear up the corner. It’s Amhar’s nap time so”.

“I’ll pick one out then” Merlin decided. “Maybe next year we can go as a family to get one”.

“Yeah” Morgana smiled. “Hopefully with the baby too”.

“One that smells nice?” Merlin asked with a grin. 

“Duh” Morgana replied. “Might have morning sickness but that ain’t stopping the fact that we need to have a Christmas tree that smells nice”.

“I’ll be back soon. You need anything?”.

“Morning sickness to leave me alone” Morgana grumbled. “Anyway, have fun. I’ll get this baby to bed. Come on Amhar, nap time”.

“Night night Dada” Amhar said as he rubbed at his eyes and Morgana carried him. 

“See you in an hour” Merlin said as he made his way out to the car. Morgana took Amhar upstairs and went into the master bedroom. She couldn’t be bothered to put him down for a nap and could do with one herself, so brought him into bed with her. As expected, after kicking his legs in the air for a bit and babbling to himself, Amhar managed to settle down and slept much quicker than usual, as did Morgana. 

By the time Morgana had woken up, Amhar was sat on her chest grinning. Slightly concerned, she pushed him off and put him in his cot while she made up the bed before going downstairs. 

“Managed to get the tree in the corner then” Merlin grinned. “And the baubles out the loft”.

“How you didn’t wake either of us, I’ll _never_ know” Morgana remarked. She paired up her phone to the Bluetooth speaker and brought up her Christmas playlist. “Well, let’s start decorating”. All the baubles remained in their boxes, the Christmas lights tangled and the tinsel in a bag. 

“Okay, lights first, then tinsel and baubles last?” Merlin asked. 

“Duh” Morgana grinned. “If you do the baubles first, then it’s _impossible_ to get the lights and tinsel on”.

“Yeah!” Amhar happily agreed as he toddled over. He went to Morgana and lifted his arms for her to carry him, while Merlin untangled the lights they put the tinsel on the tree. Merlin put the lights on with Amhar’s ‘help’ while Morgana lifted him up so that he could reach, then began with the baubles. They had a few _special_ baubles with photos in them, one with newborn Amhar, another with Arthur and Gwen on their wedding day, one of Arthur Morgana and Morgause last Christmas and then again many Christmases before in the 90s, and finally a photo of Merlin and Morgana. The photo had been taken when they had begun to date, Merlin made it into a bauble as Morgana’s Christmas present for their first one together. The next Christmas, they both essentially had ‘Last Christmas’ on repeat, while Morgana had ‘ _accidentally_ ’ left it at Arthur and Gwen’s. An array of gold green and red baubles adjourned the tree alongside blue lights and red tinsel. 

“It looks like a fucking police car!” Morgana exclaimed after Amhar was out of earshot. At fourteen months old, Amhar had begun to pick up many words. While he only had around five words, it was still important for Merlin and Morgana to be aware of what they said around him. 

“It rather does, doesn’t it” Merlin agreed with a frown. “I never _did_ get the idea of blue Christmas lights”.

“Probably to scare people drunk driving” Morgana shrugged. “Christmas time, everyone’s bound to be on the booze”.

“Except us” Merlin smirked. Merlin had decided that he would drink as little as possible, and Morgana obviously wasn’t drinking either. 

“Okay, what’s this weeks plan?” Morgana sighed as she checked the calendar. 

“Let’s see, a meeting tomorrow afternoon with Nimeuh to discuss our marriage and maybe tell her about the pregnancy?”.

“I can’t hide it any longer” Morgana sighed. “I mean, I _can’t_. I’m throwing up at least twenty times a day, pretty much floored with nausea and these remedies do fuck all. I’m gonna have to tell them”.

“During the meeting about the name change?” Merlin checked. 

“I have my doctors appointment in the morning and while I don’t really know about going in for the afternoon, I _suppose_ I could. I’ve made it to six weeks so I _am_ feeling more positive about things”.

“I’m glad” Merlin smiled. “I am too. 

* * *

_2nd December 2019_

It was rather rare for Nimeuh to have to have staff meeting with other teachers. Usually it’d be about students or something personal that had come up recently, so while a part of her was surprised at both Merlin and Morgana requesting a joint meeting, at the same time she wasn’t _that_ surprised. She knew that they had recently gotten through the adoption process with Amhar, all seeming to go well, yet having heard that the toddler was in HDU on a ventilator—and alongside his birth problems—naturally made her worry even if she had only seen him a handful of times. The double meeting, along with Morgana having the morning off, only worried Nimeuh further. 

At exactly their meeting time, Nimeuh glanced outside her office and then at the clock. _Late_ she thought with a roll of her eyes, _they’d better not be fucking_. While a lot of the time Nimeuh was busy and therefore it was rare for her to go to the staffroom, students had begun to talk too, there had been _so many_ rumours about Merlin and Morgana. Ten minutes after the allocated meeting time, there was finally a knock at the door. 

“Come in” Nimeuh called. She sipped her tea, straightened her blazer and stood up. “Well, not often we have the troublesome double in my office at the same time” she smirked. 

“Troublesome double?” Merlin arched an eyebrow. 

“I hear there has been grief with Alavrr over the school trips” Nimeuh rolled her eyes. “But that’s not my place. Tea, coffee?”.

Morgana vigorously shook her head and flinched at the mention of coffee. 

“We’re okay, thank you” Merlin replied. 

“Well, how can I help you then?” Nimueh asked as she brought out her notepad so that she could begin to write her notes. 

“A few weeks ago—sixteenth November to be precise” Morgana said. “Merlin and I got married”.

“Congratulations!” Nimueh exclaimed as she raised her eyebrows. “Well you kept that under wraps, didn’t you?”.

“Yeah, we did” Morgana agreed with a smile. “I’ve also changed my surname to Mrs Emrys, and naturally I’d like to start using that in the new year”.

“Of course I can sort that out” Nimueh smiled. “Aww, congratulations. Does Morgause know?” She grimaced slightly. 

“We’re telling her over Christmas” Merlin winced. “So if you could keep this under wraps is that okay?”.

“Of course. Anything else?”.

Morgana briefly smiled at Merlin and squeezed his hand. 

“I’m pregnant” Morgana said. “It’s um, pretty early still and whatnot. Morning sickness has been horrendous and uh”.

“Well, she went to the GP and has been signed off for two weeks” Merlin explained. He’d noticed Morgana getting more agitated. It probably wouldn’t be that long before she was darting off to find somewhere to throw up. 

“Of course” Nimeuh smiled sympathetically. “That’s understandable. Well, I hope you get better soon”.

Morgana smiled gratefully and her eyes darted around the room. If she didn’t find somewhere _now_ , she’d probably throw up _on_ Nimueh’s office desk. She noticed the bin in the corner of the room and quickly rushed over there, emptying the contents of her stomach. 

“Fucking cyclizine” Morgana muttered. 

“Look, go home” Nimeuh said. “You’ve been signed off and you’re clearly not well”.

“Yeah, I’ll drive her back” Merlin explained. “I mean I’m free until last period so I’ll drop her and grab a taxi back”.

“Take care” Nimeuh offered. “And congratulations”.

“Gcse maths fucking sucks” Lucy sighed. It was finally the last lesson of the day, December had come around and everyone had pretty much lost most of their motivation to work. Mocks were around the corner, so the majority of things needing to be done were revising and ensuring that they knew what would be on the paper. 

“I know” Harriet agreed. “I really can’t be asked with this. Mr Emrys is late”.

“Is he ever not?” Lucy rolled her eyes. “I gotta go, seeing as we’re in different sets”. 

“See ya” Harriet muttered. “How late is he?” She asked Millie as she returned from getting something out her locker. 

“It’s been ten minutes! We can _leave_ soon”.

“Oof, sorry I’m late” Merlin sighed. He was out of breath from his running around from work to home, then back to work and getting a taxi, making sure his wife was OK and getting some coffee. Morgana had decided to ban coffee from being in the same room as her, so Merlin decided that he’d drink the coffee at work mainly, given that he preferred for them all to have breakfast as a family. 

“It smells of vomit” Millie remarked as she unpacked her bag. “Or is it just me”.

“I’m telling you, Miss Pendragon’s pregnant” Harriet hissed. 

“What, who said that?” Millie whispered. “Or are you just guessing”.

“Mr Emrys smells of vomit, she’s barley been in, having conversations about baby stuff and whatnot. Well, you weren’t there but they were talking about car seats. I’m sure she is”.

“Didn’t you say that about Mrs Pendragon Smith too? I thought she wasn’t pregnant. Well the first time anyway” Millie frowned. 

“The first time she had a miscarriage” Harriet hissed. “Then she was pregnant with Amhar”.

“You know, it does make sense” Millie said. “He looks _knackered_. Since when did Mr Emrys drink so much coffee?”. 

“Exactly” Harriet smirked as Merlin started the lesson.   
  
Merlin wanted nothing more than to go home to his wife with his baby. He did tend to worry about her, and while morning sickness was a normal part of pregnancy, it was still rather worrying. At least they had been able to tell Nimueh about both things in one go. Amhar had parents evening too, so he wouldn’t get home until rather late that evening. Amhar’s parents evening went rather well. He was developing well for his age, adjusted well to the new routine and moving to solid foods and coming off the bottle. Even with the rocky start to life and his recent hospitalisation, Amhar was _thriving_. 

“How was parents evening?” Morgana asked as she heard Merlin and Amhar walking into the house. 

“Someone is a very behaved little boy, aren’t they?” Merlin cooed at Amhar. 

“Foof!” Amhar exclaimed. “Want foof!”.

“Food, eh baby?” Morgana smiled. “We can have some dinner then”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we made the mistake of not putting the tinsel and lights on the tree before the baubles ... all that hard work almost wasted!


	5. Chapter 5

  
**I’m waiting up. Saving all my precious time. Loosing light. I’m missing out, same old us. Before we learnt our truth too late. Resigned to fate, fading away. So tell me, can you turn around? I need someone to tear me down. Oh tell me can you turn around? Put it away. Hold me while you wait. I wish that I was good enough. If only I could wake you up, my love, my love, my love, my love**

_11th December 2019_

“I _swear_ , if I throw up again, I’m probably going to cry and ... I dunno” Morgana sighed. 

“Did you take the meds?” Merlin asked. 

“Yeah, still they don’t work” Morgana sighed. “Should I call the midwife? See what they say”.

“No harm in doing so” Merlin shrugged. “You _know_ you get dehydrated when you’re ill. This ain’t a way to live”.

“You’re right” Morgana agreed. “Throwing up twenty-three times a day because of a baby, is _no way_ to live. By the way, has Morgause been asking questions?”.

“Yeah” Merlin rolled his eyes. “When _doesn’t_ she, is the question”.

“She wants to know fucking everything” Morgana muttered. ”I know she means well and all, she’s basically my mum and sister at the same time, but”.

“It can get annoying” Merlin agreed. 

“Okay, so I’ve been doing a bit of research on illnesses that can knock you out for two weeks to tide me over to Christmas”.

“Which is it?” Merlin asked. 

“So, if Morgause asks, I had appendicitis after feeling unwell for a few days, had surgery and then was soon sent home. Recovering and _am not_ in the mood for guests”.

“Let’s just hope it works” Merlin grimaced. “It’s our secret”.

“Exactly” Morgana agreed. “I know that we’re close and all, but I’m going to try to get her to ... back off slightly, if you get me. _I know_ we heard the heartbeat but still, I need to get to eight weeks before I even _consider_ telling anyone”.

“That does make sense. Although, there are things already ... how do I say this, _happening_ ”.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Morgana frowned. 

“Well, I heard Harriet saying to Millie that she thinks you’re pregnant. Apparently I smelt of puke, coinciding with your time off sick”.

“Meh” Morgana shrugged. “She knew when Gwen was pregnant too. Surprised that she said that to Millie instead of Lucy”.

“Lucy’s in a different class, so. Besides, I don’t think they get on anymore”.

“They really don’t” Morgana agreed. “Not since coming back from summer anyway, at the _minimum_. They used to be thick as thieves together. Did I even tell you about that time I had to cover for Morgause?”.

“No...what happened?” Merlin grinned. 

Morgana laughed. “Oh my god, that was _hilarious._ They were saying about how hot you were except the ears, how we’d make a good couple”.

“Can’t say I disagree” Merlin smirked. 

“And then they said about how the ears would be distracting during sex” Morgana deadpanned. 

“What!” Merlin gasped. “Teenagers” he shook his head. “Love them really. Late 2017. I don’t know about you, I found that time great”.

“It was” Morgana agreed. “Things have changed so much since then. Oh how our problems changed”.

“Arthur’s biggest betrayal being how he said that he was as positive as Gwen’s pregnancy test” Merlin chuckled. 

“I remember that! Freya asking if it was true that I was dating you. She was so mad”.

“I’ve never had to break up a student fight, yet she went ahead and threw her bloody teacup at Arthur!”.

Morgana rolled her eyes. “Poor Arthur. Positive as his wife’s pregnancy test that he could drive himself to Minor injuries”.

“I can’t help but wonder”.

“Wonder what?” Morgana asked. 

“You know, how things would’ve turned out if Gwen didn’t miscarry. If she had _that_ baby, then they wouldn’t have Amhar. Don’t get me wrong, I love Amhar but I can’t help but wonder”.

“That’s how I feel too” Morgana admitted. “With my miscarriage. I know I said I was somewhat glad it happened, yet at the same time I’m not. I mean, what would’ve thing’s been like? I mean, obviously we wouldn’t have little peanut now but still”. 

“Is that what we’re calling the baby for now? Peanut?”.

“I think it’s rather good, don’t you?”.

“I ... uh, I suppose so” Merlin grimaced. “Any particular reason you chose that name?”.

“Maybe” Morgana grinned. “Seeing as there was ‘history repeating itself’ which I was _trying_ to avoid. As you can tell, things worked out _pretty well_ ”.

“They did, didn’t they” Merlin agreed. 

Morgana retched into the bucket and sighed. “I’m going to call the early pregnancy unit, see what they say”. The gynaecologists at the early pregnancy unit agreed that it sounded like Hyperemesis Gravidurm so Morgana had to go in to the hospital and be admitted. 

“Didn’t even know it was possible to have to be hospitalised for morning sickness” Morgana muttered. She felt rather dizzy and couldn’t move without feeling sick so Merlin went around packing things up in a hospital bag for her, Amhar napping in his cot. 

Just after three, Merlin began the familiar drive to Avalon City Hospital. Usually Merlin and Morgana would go towards the A+E department—firstly after the car crash given that the medical assessment was attached to A+E, when Amhar was ill and a few other times. A+E was separate to the main hospital with the wards and outpatient appointments, yet had internal connections so that everything was connected unlike Northern Plains hospital. Second most frequented place was the paediatrics ward. It was in the women and children’s area—there was a paediatric outpatients, inpatient, medical assessment unit and also a children’s emergency department which were all interconnected. Upstairs was the maternity, delivery and postnatal ward alongside the NICU, yet under the woman’s and children section there was also gynaecology—breast cancer services and a women’s health ward. The maternity inpatients was only available for those over twelve weeks and as Morgana was only seven weeks, she was sent to the women’s health ward instead, straight to an assessment bed. 

“So you’re seven weeks, right?” The gynaecologist checked. 

“Seven weeks and four days” Morgana confirmed. “I had an early scan on the second, I thought I was five weeks and six days but I was actually dated as six weeks and two days”.

“And your GP prescribed some medication?”.

“Yes, cyclizine but that doesn’t work”.

“Any dizziness or fainting?”.

“ _Constant_ dizziness”.

“Weight loss?”.

“Definitely” Merlin butted in. 

“Okay, I’ll go see if we have a free bed as we’re going to likely admit you due to Hyperemesis Gravidurm. Wait here please” the gynaecologist said, soon leaving the room. 

“I never knew that getting knocked up could land you in hospital” Morgana remarked. 

“Most people have scans, appointments and give birth in hospital” Merlin frowned. 

“With morning sickness, you idiot” Morgana rolled her eyes. 

“Didn’t Kate Middleton get hospitalised with morning sickness?” Merlin asked. “I swear she was”.

“Ha! Good” Morgana smirked triumphantly. “Gets me closer to the crown”.

“Hate to tell you but you’re probably already closer than Meghan Markle” Merlin shrugged. “Anyway, we need to watch the crown”.

“Sleepless nights will be upon us sometime soon” Morgana grinned. “Just over eight months to go”.

“If you told me this time eight months ago we’d be in this position I’d tell you to go sod yourself” Merlin chuckled. 

“It’s December now, so eight months ago would be” Morgana began to count in her head. “April”.

Merlin’s eyes widened. “Back when you were fucking Alvarr”.

“I’d have been almost due now” Morgana mused. “Had a tiny newborn or been fed up, stressed with the ex and about to pop. Actually had my last hurrah too” she added with a scoff. “We went to Florida to celebrate my twenty fifth”.

“No Vegas?”.

“Oh, we did that _ages_ ago” Morgana smirked. “We all went to Disney World, universal studios. It was great, to be honest. They sell alcohol at Disney world”.

“I’m not surprised” Merlin remarked. “I mean, all those screaming kids. It is a good idea to be fair”.

“Yeah, but we don’t drink anymore so” Morgana shrugged. 

“Yeah. Pointless for us” Merlin agreed. “Although on holidays and occasionally, I think I would drink. Not much, just maybe a glass or two”.

“I don’t mind it, but you better not be drinking everyday” Morgana warned. “Occasionally on holidays is okay. But you’re not going back to your old habits”.

“And neither are you” Merlin said as he touched Amhar’s nose. “Who’s being a good boy”.

“FOOF!” Amhar exclaimed. “Foof. Pwease?”.

“You’re adorable baby, aren’t you” Morgana chuckled. There was a knock on the door and a nurse walked in, taking Morgana to her bed. It was on a ward with six others, unfortunately Morgana was given the middle bed yet that did mean that overall there was more space. 

* * *

_13th December 2019_

The last day of school had finally come around. There was no denying that it had been a long and hard term, with everyone more than ready for the break. Before the holidays though, there would be a whole school assembly followed by a carol service at the church. The day was rather good apart from one thing that was _rather_ worrying —Friday the thirteenth. 

“How’s Teeny?” Morgause asked. The students were sat down in year groups, while the teachers were allowed to sit wherever they wanted. Usually they’d stand at the back, yet with the assembly due to be an hour and a half long, everyone would be sitting down. 

“Still in hospital” Merlin sighed. “Yet things _seem_ to be going well”.

“That’s good” Morgause smiled. “I mean, I dunno about you but I can’t believe that this is the last church thingy of the decade”.

“Neither can I” Merlin agreed. “Any plans in particular for 2020?”.

“Probably go to Hawaii, Caribbean, those sorts of places” Morgause shrugged. “You? Any plans for a wedding?”.

“Maybe” Merlin chuckled. He hid his hand behind his back. “Still early days though, so you know”.

“True” Morgause mused. “Cenred and I have been together for _ages_ , still haven’t got married, no proposal. Although we don’t have excuses, no kids or anything so”. Silence engulfed the hall as the assembly had begun, Nimeuh and Geoffrey taking the stage. The assembly lasted for a few hours with many colours from the rugby and hockey season being handed out alongside other things like the DofE awards. It was around two thirty when they had to all line up on the netball courts to begin the walk to church. Each teacher had to take their form unless they were sixth form, so Merlin, Will and Morgause ended up walking together. 

“I didn’t wear heels this time” Morgause said triumphantly. “So I can actually keep up”.

“Congratulations” Will remarked sarcastically. “How clever of you”.

“Why thank you” Morgause smirked. “At least you’re actually talking, unlike Merlin over here”.

“I’m just tired” Merlin snapped. 

“How’s the baby?” Morgause asked. 

“He’s doing well, he has been wheezing but otherwise okay”. 

“That’s good” Morgause smiled. “Well, let’s find our seats then. Anywhere within the sixth form area right?”.

“Probably” Will shrugged. “Phones off though”.

“I have to keep mine on, in case nursery calls”.

“Aren’t you lucky” Morgause muttered as she opened the carol service booklet. “Several readings, O come all ye faithful, O little town of Bethlehem, in the bleak midwinter and hark! The herald angel’s sing”.

“Looks like it should be good this year then” Merlin said as he watched many people beginning to enter by year group. Merlin knew he shouldn’t be checking his phone. It’d set a bad example to students and he wasn’t supposed to, even though he had many texts coming through with his phone buzzing on the inside of his blazer pocket. Around an hour into the church service—must’ve been around three, Merlin’s phone would not stop buzzing. Realising that it was a phone call not a text, he briefly spoke to Nimueh who let him step outside. 

“Hello, Merlin Emrys speaking how may I help you?”.

“Hiya, it’s Sarah here. Amhar’s key worker. As I said earlier, he had been rather fussy and is currently wheezing when he coughs. I recommend you come to pick him up as soon as possible, because of his bronchiolitis needing oxygen just as a precaution, probably would recommend a doctor appointment too”.

“Of course” Merlin nodded. “I’ll be around twenty minutes”.

“Okay, thank you. See you soon”. Merlin hung up and then went back inside and explained the situation to Nimeuh. She wished him well and told him to go back to the school, pack up all his things, get the car and pick up the baby. When Merlin arrived, Amhar was slightly sniffly, whining “Mama” over and over, his coat on with his bottom lip stuck out. 

“I think Morgana mentioned it but we’re doing reduced hours next week—nine to four instead of eight to four thirty”.

“Yes, we have it noted down. As he had the lung problems I thought it was best to call”.

“I appreciate the quick escape from work too” Merlin chuckled. “Morgana’s pregnant and in hospital, so he has been missing her a lot”.

“I’m so sorry” Sarah gasped. “Is everything okay?”.

“Bad morning sickness, but otherwise everything’s okay. Amhar say bye”.

“No” Amhar squealed as he buried his head on Melrin’s shoulder. 

“Well congratulations on the pregnancy” Sarah offered. “And see you next week”. Merlin checked Amhar’s temperature in the car with the back of his hand. He had gloves on for the majority of the service, so his hands weren’t that cold, while Amhar did feel a bit warm, Merlin felt that he was overall okay so drove to Avalon hospital. 

“There’s my favourite boys!” Morgana gasped as she saw Merlin and Amhar walking in. She stretched out her arms and Amhar beamed, almost throwing himself out of Merlin’s arms in a bid to get to Morgana. 

“How have you been?” Merlin asked. 

“Meh” Morgana shrugged. “Can’t go near a fucking KFC again” she lowered her voice slightly. “That woman opposite me, in for an ovarian cyst. Her husband brought in fucking KFC. Fucking KFC!”.

“I take it that didn’t go down well?” Merlin grimaced. 

“I can’t stand KFC at the best of times, let alone now” Morgana shuddered. “Well for now, at least cyclizine seems to be working now that I’m on a higher dosage. This drip is _amazing_ ”.

“That’s good” Merlin sighed with relief. “Do you think you’ll be discharged soon”.

“Well I had lunch and managed to keep it down, so hopefully tomorrow” Morgana smiled. She glared at the bed next to her through the curtain. 

“Already had a falling out?” Merlin chuckled. 

“Old lady in that bed” Morgana whispered and rolled her eyes. “She’s nice and all, but after last night we don’t get on”.

“What happened last night?” Merlin asked as he held back a laugh. 

“I was happily asleep in my bed, she got up and _clearly_ misjudged the space between the curtains and beds and promptly fell on top of me”.

“What the fuck!” Merlin laughed. 

“Then, I was sick on the old lady curtain lump, cue all the lights going on and all the nurses rushing in looking on in horror at poor old lady on the floor tangled in a curtain and vomit”.

“Poor...poor old lady” Merlin wheezed. 

“It. Isnt. Funny” Morgana scowled. “Okay, well maybe a little bit. I’m traumatised”.

“Well, at least you’re out soon” Merlin shrugged. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was rereading STAGES OF MIRTH so that I could refresh my memory on what happened and wow ... things went so dark


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas Eve (a few weeks late!)

  
**I’m sorry I ain’t been around, but you’ve been on my mind a million times. I’ll make it up to you now. We’ll wrap the presents and put up the tree, together, be together. Baby there’s no better gift. Now that I have you here, just where I need you the most. Cause I’ve been gone so long, but I kept holding on; cause I need to show you just how much I love you this Christmas. Is it the light in your eyes? They’ve never shone so bright, I’ve waited all year to be near to the one I’ve been missing, this Christmas**

_24th December 2019_

“Okay, so Amhar is going with Dylan, so we need to transfer the car seat to his car which you can do and also the buggy” Morgana said. 

“Already using the pregnancy excuse?” Merlin chuckled. 

“Hahaha, very funny” Morgana mocked. “Why don’t you go and move the fucking car seat. _Now_!”.

“Okay, okay, sorry” Merlin stuttered slightly as he took it out of his car. He’d finally figured out how to use it properly. “Actually, I’ll just tell Dylan to use the instructions”.

“He’s a kid! Do it yourself, you lazy bugger” Morgana pointed out. 

“He’s twenty-two, he can figure it out” Merlin shrugged. 

“If forgot that he’s getting old” Morgana remarked. “I only really remember him as ‘the baby’. Now he’ll be twenty-three in January, I’ll be twenty six soon and ... damn”.

“We’re all getting old” Merlin grinned. “Where is the lazy bugger?”.

“Yayyyyyyy” Amhar squealed. “Deeeeee. Deeeeee.

“Yes Amhar, you’re seeing Dylan!” Morgana exclaimed. 

“Morgue?” Amhar asked. 

“No Amhar, we’re not seeing Morgause” Merlin chuckled. “But we’ll see her in a few days”.

“Finally, Dylan’s here” Morgana said as she saw him driving up. She locked up the door and took the pram while Merlin went over to Dylan’s car and began to put the car seat in the passenger seat. 

“Hi baby!” Dylan exclaimed as Morgana went over. 

“Deeeeeee” Amhar grinned. “Deeeeee”

“Anyway, here’s his baby bag, he doesn’t nap in the morning so you should just be able to play with him. Eats everything except meat”.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got this” Dylan smiled as he took the baby bag and Amhar. “Anyway, go have fun on your date”.

“It’s not a date” Merlin muttered. 

“Whatever you say” Dylan winked. Dylan left with Amhar first, Morgana having to take her medication before she got in the car and Merlin lock up the flat before they went to Avalon. Morgana had decided that she wanted a private scan, given that on the NHS she’d only get two—the dating scan and the anomaly scan. They had heard the heartbeat early which was reassuring, yet usually the baby couldn’t be actually seen until at least eight weeks, more clearly as a baby at nine weeks. 

Merlin and Morgana smiled at each other as they waited in the waiting room. Having been there only three weeks before the receptionist recognised them and handed Morgana a sick bowl which she gratefully accepted and having heard a heartbeat had made them much less anxious as they were called into a room. This time there was no need for an internal scan, as the scanner took the wand and held it over Morgana’s stomach. 

“My last scan said that I was six weeks and two days, with a due date of the 25th July based of baby’s size, yet my dates gave me a due date of 27th July” Morgana rambled. 

“You’re nine weeks and one day, which would put your due date as the twenty seventh”.

“Is that anything to worry about? Baby being smaller?” Merlin asked. 

“There’s the heartbeat going steadily away as you can hear. There’s baby’s arms, legs and head. Baby seems absolutely healthy”.

“So it’s nothing to worry about?” Morgana checked. 

“Not at all” the scanner reassured. “It’s still early days, and these things change all the time. Now, would you like some pictures?”.

“I can’t believe you had to ask” Merlin laughed. Armed with many pictures of their unborn baby, Merlin and Morgana left the clinic with massive grins on their faces. 

“Well, I guess now I think we ought to start buying baby things” Morgana grinned as she got into the car. 

“Well that’s good” Merlin smiled. “Because I’ve already gotten some pregnancy bits and bobs for you”.

“That’s so sweet” Morgana smiled. “I’m so excited! Holy shit, next Christmas we’ll hopefully have a baby! Amhar will be a big brother”.

“We’re going to have to start looking at pushchairs, car seats. Oh my god where do we even start!”.

“I want a bugaboo” Morgana grinned. “Do you think we’ll need a double? Or will Amhar be ok to walk all the time by then?”.

“He’ll only be twenty-two months, so I’d say getting a double for long walks and that could be good. Maybe a second hand one?”.

“That sounds good” Morgana agreed. “That way I can still get my uber-expensive pram” she smirked. 

Merlin laughed and shook his head. “Maybe I should’ve gotten it for Christmas. What else do baby’s need?”.

“We’ll have to do some research on it” Morgana shrugged. “Although it shouldn’t be too hard, seeing as we already have a baby”.

“We never did get a honeymoon” Merlin remarked. 

“You know what, I think we could go on holiday in August or early September” Morgana grinned. “Two kids under two, so both of them fly free”.

“I like that idea” Merlin agreed. “Let’s do that”.

Dylan brought Amhar back at 11:30 just in time for lunch, the half brothers sporting wide grins as Amhar clutched on to his Teletubbies toys. 

“He couldn’t wait to open his Christmas present” Dylan chuckled. 

“ _He_ couldn’t wait, or _you_ couldn’t wait?” Morgana arched an eyebrow while Merlin took the car seat and buggy out the car. 

“ _Maybe_ both of us” Dylan grinned. “Besides, _everyone_ gets presents for the baby. Poor kid’ll be overwhelmed tomorrow morning”.

“You’re not wrong” Merlin agreed. “I mean have you seen his present boxes? They’re _massive_ ”.

“And his stocking” Morgana added. “Do you want to stay for lunch? Or a cuppa tea?”.

“I’m okay thanks” Dylan politely declined. “Going to head back home and spend some time with my family”.

“Enjoy” Merlin smiled. “And Merry Christmas”.

“Merry Christmas to you too. Congratulations on the engagement” Dylan grinned. 

“Engagement?” Morgana raised an eyebrow. 

“I saw the rings” Dylan explained. “That’s great news. Really happy for you two”.

“Thank you” Merlin smiled. 

“I also wanted to add, I have noticed that he has been coughing and wheezing a bit, I thought it’d be best to mention it to you”.

“We’re taking him to the doctors just after Christmas, he’s already had an appointment and they said to keep an eye on him”.

“Poor little guy” Dylan pouted. “Anyway, Merry Christmas. Hoping for a wedding invite maybe?”.

“We’ll see” Morgana smirked. 

* * *

With Amhar down for his nap after lunch, Merlin and Morgana began to wrap up the presents. Amhar was going to get a mega blok’s table from them, the twins present was under the tree already, he’d opened up Dylan’s gift and Morgause and Catrina would give their gifts when they met on Boxing Day. Morgana had the bedroom to wrap up Merlin’s presents while Merlin had the living room—for around an hour they sat down and wrapped up the gifts. 

Merlin had gotten Morgana a Seraphine coat that could be used during pregnancy and had a panel that could later be used for baby wearing, a grey cashmere maternity waterfall-style jumper alongside a maternity massage. For the stockings, he’d bought some nice makeup that he knew she’d like and some maternity toiletries. Morgana had bought Merlin the new AirPods Pro, some fancy aftershave that she knew he liked and the box set of ‘A Song of Fire and Ice’. 

They’d also begun the tradition of Christmas Eve boxes—each getting a pair of elf pyjamas, a hot chocolate sachet each (with a small carton of pre-made formula for Amhar), the book “that’s not my reindeer”, and a cow cup.

After opening the Christmas Eve boxes and changing into their pyjamas—Merlin’s read “Daddy Elf”, Amhar’s was “Tiny Elf” while Morgana had some maternity ones reading “Elf on the Way”, they baked some cookies and settled on the sofa to watch elf. 

Amhar stayed up later than usual, he chugged away on his bottle of hot chocolate mixed with formula as he lay down on Morgana, who lay in Merlin’s embrace. Watching the movie elf was something that Merlin made sure to do every Christmas and intended to continue with his family too. With Amhar in bed, milk and cookies next to the tree with some cookies and stocking’s hung by the chimney, the presents were placed under the tree with the cookies and carrots vanishing leaving a pile of crumbs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I said that there was four years between Dylan and Morgana but there’s actually three. Merlin and Morgana were born in 1994 so are currently 25, Dylan was born in 1997 so is 22.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas!

  
**The snow is falling. All around me. Children playing, having fun. Tis the season, love and understanding. Merry Christmas, everyone. Time for parties, and celebration. People dancing, all night long. Time for presents, and exchanging kisses. Time for singing Christmas songs**

_25th December 2019_

For the first time in a while, Morgana didn’t wake up to an uncomfortable roiling in her stomach, but a _much_ better alternative of the toddler shouting “mama” down the hall. Noticing Merlin was still asleep, she rolled out of bed and padded down the hallway to the nursery, where Amhar was jumping up and down in his cot while holding on to the rails. 

“Mama” he beamed at seeing Morgana, raising his arms to be picked up. 

“Good morning Amhar” Morgana smiled. “C’mon, let’s get some cuddles in bed”.

By the time Morgana returned to bed, Merlin was already sat up and reading some messages on his phone. 

“I was thinking we could get some baby snuggles before going downstairs?”. 

“We should” Merlin agreed. “Do you normally have a plan on what happens on Christmas Day?”.

“No. Normally I would spend it with Arthur, Gwen and Morgause. All meet-up for lunch, open presents, watch a movie maybe have some board games. _Obviously_ watch the Queens speech at three. Dinner at around seven-ish, then go our separate ways. What about you?”.

“As you know my parents are coming over for lunch. Then it’s Amhar’s nap time so you can put him down, have some rest yourself because I know you get tired. After that we can open gifts, which consists of the scan photo and Amhar’s big brother t-shirt under his jumper. Playing with Amhar then dinner at some point. We’ll see how long they stay but once they know you’re pregnant they’ll probably understand why you’re resting a lot and not eating much”. 

“Yeah I guess. I’ll change Amhar later, seeing as he had that reindeer shirt to match yours”.

“It is rather adorable” Merlin smiled. “Now, Baby snuggles”.

“You can do that” Morgana groaned. “Little peanut here does not want snuggles. They apparently _don’t_ like the hot chocolate you made last night”. 

Merlin mocked horror and offence. “But..my hot chocolate is the _best_ hot chocolate. How can my daughter not like my hot chocolate?!”.

“It might not even be your daughter” Morgana snorted. “Could be your son”.

“Hm true. I didn’t think about that. What do you want it to be?”.

“I don’t know. Just a happy healthy baby”.

“Me too” Merlin agreed. 

“That doesn’t keep making me sick” Morgana grumbled, walking to the bathroom and locking the door. Merlin winced as he heard her retch and wanted nothing more than to just go and be with her—but the door was locked, a _clear_ sign she wanted to be alone. He lay in bed allowing the toddler to climb over him as he heard the toilet flushing, tap running followed by his wife emerging a few minutes later, several shades paler. 

The small family remained in bed for around ten minutes before Merlin decided to go and make breakfast and start on lunch. Morgana soon came down with Amhar, strapped him in his highchair before sitting down herself. 

“What would you like for breakfast, milady?” Merlin teased.

“Plain toast please”.

“Drink?”.

“No, thank you”.

“What is our little prince having?”.

“Foof! Bobble!” Amhar replied, grinning. 

“Of course you are” Merlin chuckled. “Foof and more foof, then your bottle”.

“We all love foof” Morgana agreed. “Except peanut, who seems to hate it”.

“Pea-butt” Amhar giggled. 

“Did he just call our peanut pea-butt?” Merlin laughed. 

“He did” Morgana confirmed. “Hopefully by the time peanut actually arrives he can pronounce it’s name properly”.

“Which won’t be peanut or pea-butt. Actually that’s got me thinking, when should we tell him about the peanut?”.

“I’ve been doing some research” Morgana said. “And those with toddlers say to wait until after the twenty week scan, as the bump will be more ‘pronounced’ then. We can keep telling him about the baby I guess, but not yet. He’s still small and I know we heard the heartbeat but I don’t want to risk things like that“.

“Of course. I totally understand that. Once you get a bump then we can tell him”.

After breakfast was finished and the stockings were opened they changed into their Christmas Day outfits—jeans and a Christmas jumper. Merlin and Amhar had matching gingerbread polo shirts, as did Amhar and Morgana—matching ones from JoJo Maman Bebe, Amhar’s was a polar bear jumper which said “little bear” on the top, while Morgana had a maternity t-shirt which said “mama bear” across the boobs, with a bear on the stomach saying “baby bear”, although she _did_ have her usual Christmas jumper on top. 

Merlin’s parents arrived right on time, 12 o’clock. He was trying to calm down Amhar after Morgana was attacked by (another) bout of morning sickness thank’s to Merlin’s cooking and ran off. The toddler had come rather attached to her so became upset at being left alone. Merlin answered the door while balancing Amhar on his hip, the tots’ eyes red and puffy from crying. 

“Merry Christmas” Merlin greeted with a cheer at seeing his parents. 

“Well this Little Guy doesn’t look very merry does he?” Hunith cooed at the baby as she walked into the house. 

“He isn’t” Merlin agreed. “Morgana left him for a moment to go to the toilet, I was in the kitchen and heard whimpering and...”.

“The poor baby” Balinor commented. “Although you were similar when you were his age. _Such_ a mummy’s boy”.

“Whatever you say dad” Merlin rolled his eyes. “Through here. I’m almost finished on lunch. Morgana is a _terrible_ cook”.

“That’s rich, coming from you” Morgana retorted, walking into the living room. She had touched her lipstick up so looked more ‘presentable’, not that Merlin couldn’t see through her walls. He always did. 

“Oh Morgana it’s lovely to see you again” Hunith gushed. 

“It’s good to see you too” Morgana smiled. 

“Mama” Amhar babbled, reaching for Morgana. 

“Come here baby” she replied, holding her arms out for him. 

“Merlin was just saying about how he’s a mamas boy. It was the same when Merlin was little” Balinor chuckled. 

“Stop embarrassing me dad” Merlin snorted. 

“I can imagine” Morgana smiled. “ _I_ on the other hand was a daddy’s girl through and through”.

“You were wrapped around his finger and Arthur’s if I recall correctly” Merlin muttered. 

“You say that like I’m not wrapped around your little finger” Morgana retorted. 

“True” Merlin rolled his eyes. “Lunch is almost ready, if everyone wants to sit on the table?”.

The family arranged themselves in the conservatory, given that there was more space they’d moved the table back to the conservatory— Amhar at the top in his highchair, Merlin and Morgana either side. Unlike when he was younger, Merlin sat next to his father while Morgana sat next to Hunith. 

“Would either of you like some wine?” Morgana asked, standing up as Merlin brought the goats cheese, pepper and mushroom pie he had made over. The main vegetarian dish for Christmas would usually be a nut roast, yet Morgana was allergic so Merlin decided to experiment and throw something in the oven. 

  
“Yes please” Hunith smiled, while Morgana poured glasses for both of Merlin’s parents. “Would you like me to pour you a glass?”.

“No thank you. I don’t drink”.

“Oh. Merlin?”.

“Also not drinking” Merlin piped up. 

“Couples cleanse” Morgana added. “We decided to go on a cleanse together, we drunk quite a lot after Arthur and Gwen died so we’re cutting down now. Dry December and January”.

“Oh” Hunith remarked. “That’s quite a good idea. You’re young, so not having too much alcohol is a good idea”. 

“It is” Balinor agreed, as Merlin began to serve the dinner. Christmas crackers were pulled, forks scraped on plates, Amhar’s ‘foof’ thrown around. After lunch, Morgana ran to the toilet then took Amhar up to the bedroom and took a nap with the toddler—leaving Merlin alone with his parents. 

“She is so nice” Hunith commented. 

“She is” Merlin agreed. “She’s the best”.

“Didn’t you date before?” Balinor asked. 

“We did” Merlin confirmed. “When I started work. There was a few complications—we’ve sorted them out and now we’re back together”.

“I’m glad you two are together. Especially since you’re raising Amhar together, living together. Makes things easier” Balinor smiled. 

“It is” Merlin agreed. “At first things were tough, but we managed to work it out. I know this is a terrible thing to think; but I’m almost glad Gwen and Arthur had that car crash, it put us together. Helped us to marry one another”.

“Everything happens for a reason” Hunith shrugged. “You two seem very much in the honeymoon phase”.

“When’s the honeymoon?” Balinor arched an eyebrow. 

“No honeymoon. Maybe in the summer”.

Just over an hour later (after hearing the shower running too for some odd reason), Amhar and Morgana returned downstairs so they began to open the presents. Morgana had donned her jumper, wearing her mama bear t-shirt to match Amhar’s little bear jumper. 

“Nice t-shirt” Hunith remarked. “Mama bear, little bear. Cute”.

The first to open their presents was Amhar—receiving a Mega Bloks table from Morgana and Merlin and “toot toot drivers” from Balinor and Hunith. 

Balinor and Hunith opened their present next—a small box with a photo frame in it. After turning the photo frame around it was obvious what it was—a baby ultrasound!

“Trying to tell us something?” Hunith grinned at the smiling couple. 

“We’re having a baby!” Merlin smiled as he pulled Amhar’s jumper off. His t-shirt had a dinosaur on and read “I’m going to be a _roarsome_ big brother” 

A series of cheers echoed around the living room, as the family celebrated the happy news. 

“You’re pregnant; this is amazing” Hunith gushed as she began to cry. “No wonder you looked tired, Morgana”.

“I’m absolutely exhausted” Morgana sighed. “I know it’ll be worth it though”.

“When are you due?” Balinor asked. 

“Twenty-seventh July” Morgana replied. 

“Babe, can I ask you something?” Merlin asked. 

“Of course. What’s up?”.

“Why on earth were you taking a shower in the _middle of the day?!_ ”.

“Morning sickness” Morgana rolled her eyes. “Didn’t want anyone to hear so used the shower to muffle the sounds”.

“Ah. Makes sense” Merlin commented. 

The family continued exchanging gifts afterward—Morgana had bought Merlin AirPods, aftershave and a portrait of the night sky on the day they got married, while Merlin bought her a pregnancy spa experience, a maternity/baby wearing coat and a cashmere maternity jumper. Hunith and Balinor had bought the couple a family photo-shoot—along with a voucher for a fancy restaurant and a promise to babysit Amhar a lot, before the Queen’s speech began to play. 

While this was the first Christmas with no (biological) family—Morgana found it to be her best. Hunith and Balinor had welcomed her with open arms, and they were getting on extremely well. She wasn’t having problems with Merlin anymore. Six months ago she wouldn’t have believed this is how her life would turn out—and she was absolutely _loving_ it. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boxing day and they tel Morgause the news!

  
**Maybe I’m foolish, maybe I’m blind, thinking I can see through this and see what’s behind. Got no way to prove it, so maybe I’m lying but I’m only human, after all. I’m only human, after all, don’t put the blame on me. Don’t put your blame on me. Take a look in the mirror and what do you see? Do you see it clearer, or are you deceived, in what you believe? Cause I’m only human after all, you’re only human after all, don’t put your blame on me.**

_26th December 2019_

Merlin and Morgana were sat in the car at the car park for the Forest of Dean. Morgause was picking up Catrina before they were due to meet, and was only a few minutes away. Merlin and Morgana were rather excited to tell her he news yet also, naturally slightly worried. They hadn’t even told Morgause that they were engaged, let alone married, and while they had been wearing their wedding rings at work and knew that Morgause had probably seen them, they were rather cautious of how she’d react. 

“Well, this could easily go really well, or really badly” Merlin remarked. “Although one thing, we are sticking together even if she does react ... interestingly”.

“Merlin, she’s my sister” Morgana sighed. “I mean, she’s like a mum to me. I know what we did was our choice and she may not be able to accept that, but still. I can’t loose her”.

“I know” Merlin agreed. “Yet she’ll probably need time. Time to digest it all I suppose. Well, let’s hope she won’t kick me in the balls when she finds out you’re pregnant”.

“I’m surprised she hadn’t done anything to poor old Alvarr” Morgana chuckled. “Yet then again, I didn’t tell her about that. Wow, we really _were_ rather distant back then”.

“Death brings you closer” Merlin shrugged. “As I’m sure you know. I mean, we learnt it the hard way”.

“We sure did” Morgana smiled. 

A car pulled up next to them—a familiar blue Focus, Morgause’s car. After the initial greetings and exchanging of Christmas presents; a small gift for Morgause and Catrina each, alongside two large gift’s for Amhar and two for Morgana (no one had gotten Merlin anything, given that no one knew the situation yet, although Cenred didn’t get a gift either). Catrina pushed the buggy as they walked onto a path and through the Forest. 

“How was the party?” Morgana asked. 

“Don’t even” Morgause shook her head. “Let’s see, Freya got absolutely shitfaced and threw herself at Alvarr”.

“Nothing out of the ordinary then” Merlin rolled his eyes. 

“Kept whining about how it’s not fair that you get to raise the baby with Merlin” Morgause continued. 

“Almost as though Arthur and Gwen wanted us to get together” Morgana mused. 

“Well, how was your Christmas?” Morgause asked. 

“It was good” Morgana smiled. “Very good. I mean, it’s our first Christmas as a married couple and well, here’s to the rest of the christmases we shall spend together”.

“Did you just say _married couple_?” Morgause stopped in her tracks and turned around. She looked between Merlin and Morgana and then at the pram, then again at Merlin and Morgana. She’d noticed the rings for a while yet knew it wasn’t her place to say anything, she couldn’t help but wonder. They wouldn’t, would they? Yet Morgana was being rather private as of late to put it some way. Spending a lot of time off work. Shooting Merlin happy smiles across the room. At first Morgause simply put it down to young love ... but now. 

“You got married!” Catrina exclaimed. “Congratulations”.

“You got married” Morgause whispered. “You got married and you didn’t fucking tell anyone!”.  
Merlin and Morgana looked at each other and somewhat solemnly nodded. 

“I knew it!” Morgause shrieked triumphantly. “I _knew_ that those looks of lust you two were shooting each other were about _something_. But _marriage_!”. Morgause began to cry. 

“It was a spur of the moment decision” Merlin explained. “I mean, we were talking about surnames. I proposed. The same day as the celebration hearing, we got married”.

“Well that was rather fucking fast, wasn’t it?” Morgause retorted. 

“But the memories...Morgause, you _know_ about that. How it all works”.

“I know, it was only a matter of time” Morgause muttered. “Arthur and I knew, for a while. Then you fell out, Arthur went ahead and died so you raised the kid only for you two to get married. Well that was a major fucking plot twist no one saw coming”.

“We did” Merlin smirked. 

“I thought you’d tell me now that you two were engaged ... as for _marriage_ ”. Morgause’s eyes flashed yellow. The sky grew darker. The light breeze began quickening. 

“We thought it best to keep it between us for then, it’s what worked for us” Morgana explained. 

“Since when were you so fucking selfish!” Morgause exclaimed. “You used to be so good. Always on my side. We were as thick as thieves. What happened?”.

“Morgause, it’s the twenty first century!” Morgana sighed. “ _Let it go_. Yes, i am somewhat sorry that I didn’t invite you to the wedding. On the other hand, I’m not, because it was the most perfect day”.

“Oh yes, good little Morgana always being so fucking perfect” Morgause mocked. “Well aren’t you lucky! It’s not like he’s almost killed you twice and succeeded once too!”.

“Morgause, why don’t you calm down a bit” Catrina warned. 

“I. Will. Not” Morgause said between clenched teeth. “I. Am. Very. Calm!”.

“Morgue!” Amhar shouted as he put his arms out. “Morgue”.

“Now the fucking kid is calling me Morgue” Morgause muttered. “Well, congratulations on your marriage. Hope you’re their for each other in sickness and in health until Merlin kills you again. I’m telling you Sis, the future is set in stone”.

“Well who was the one saying that it bloody wasn’t a few years ago?” Morgana retorted. 

“Well I assumed I’d at least have been involved in these arrangements! Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for you” Morgause reassured. “But did you have to do that?”.

“ _No one_ knew, Morgause. It, it isn’t personal. We decided to go for it and have had the greatest time, just having us knowing and no else” Morgana cried. 

“Aww how sweet” Morgause mocked. “How very sweet. Hope you enjoyed your wedding”.

“Morgue!” Amhar babbled. “Morgue!”.

“Come on, Morgause. This is a good thing, surely you can see that?” Catrina added, while Cenred opted to roll his eyes instead. 

“It is” Morgause agreed. “It is”.

Morgana turned around breathing deeply as she felt her stomach churning more. Merlin had noticed, muttering “oh shit” as he held her hair while she vomited into the bushes. 

“Are you okay?” Morgause asked. Morgana could tell that her concern was feigned

“I’m hungover” Morgana snapped. 

“Oh well, that’s punishment I guess” Morgause taunted. “Sucks, _doesn’t_ it? Catrina, are you coming back with us or going with them”. 

“Just drop me home, Morgause” Catrina sighed. 

* * *

_27th December 2019_

“We have got so much to do today, hurry up Merlin” Morgana sighed as she pulled her new coat on. She might’ve only been nine weeks pregnant so could’ve _easily_ worn her usual coat, yet she was planning to use her new coat as much as possible. She hadn’t started growing a bump yet, given that she’d lost weight from having hyperemesis, yet the bloating was so bad it was _almost_ as though she looked pregnant. 

“Amhar’s refusing to get dressed, again” Merlin called. Amhar was fully out of the baby stage and well into the toddler stage. He liked to take things at his own pace, wanted to choose his own things, and wanted to walk a lot even though he did easily get tired. 

“No” Amhar said. Morgana sighed and went up the stairs. 

“Come on Amhar, time to get changed” Morgana sighed as she grabbed his favourite paw patrol t-shirt, Thomas the tank engine Christmas jumper and put some trousers on him. Amhar had an appointment at the GP surgery in the morning, while Morgana had her flu jab and booking in midwife appointment afterwards. 

Amhar was seen quickly given that they tended to want to see those on the “priority list” first—those who had surgery or serious and complex conditions—and when Morgana explained to the receptionist about his lung surgery at one week old, they made sure to see him fast. Amhar hadn’t had _that many_ problems lately, developmentally he was thriving, just that he had developed a cough and would wheeze quite often, along with shallow breathing whenever he caught whatever was going around at nursery—being fifteen months, this happened _rather_ often. 

“So, what seems to be the problem with Little Amhar here” the GP said. 

“Well, we’ve noticed—my wife and I—that he has shallow breathing and sometimes tends to wheeze slightly. It sometimes seems as though he has been struggling for breath too, when he has been coughing or has a cold”.

“Is he in childcare?”.

“He has been since he was three, four months old. He was on CPAP for a month if I recall correctly” Morgana added. 

“Okay, I’ll listen to his breathing and then we can decide a plan of action” the GP said. Amhar was prescribed an inhaler with a yellow spacer that had a Teddy which he rather liked, and had to have it whenever he was struggling to breathe. This was rather common in young children with CDH, so Merlin and Morgana weren’t too fussed, before Morgana had her flu jab then they made their way to Avalon City Hospital for Morgana’s midwife appointment. Merlin had to wait outside at first while the midwife spoke to Morgana alone, then was allowed in while she asked about her medical history, took her weight and height, blood pressure, blood tests and water samples. It was _hopefully_ the last time they’d be in the hospital or doctors surgery for a long time, with both Merlin and Morgana having high hopes for the new decade. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone else have really high hopes for this decade? Then 2020 comes along and cancels it all!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Years Eve!

  
**Sunlight comes creeping in. Illuminates our skin. We watch the day go by. Stories of all we did. It made me think of you, it made me think of you. Under a trillion stars. We danced on top of cars. Took pictures of the stage. So far from where we are. It made me think of you. It made me think of you. Oh lights go down, in the moment we’re lost and found. And I just wanna be by your side, if these wings could fly. For the rest of our lives**

_31st December 2019_

“How is it the last day of the decade!” Merlin gasped as he threw Amhar in the air. 

“I don’t know, I don’t know!” Morgana exclaimed in the baby voice while Amhar giggled. 

“And we’re going to go see mummy and daddy today” Merlin added. 

“Mama” Amhar giggled as he pointed at Morgana. 

“Yes, I’m mama” Morgana said. “But your other mummy and daddy”. 

“Yeah!” Amhar cheered as Merlin put him down. 

“Last visit of the decade” Merlin sighed as they sat in the car. 

Morgana squeezed Merlin’s hand. “Let’s do this. Last visit of the decade”. Amhar toddled ahead while Merlin and Morgana walked hand-in-hand behind him as they reached the graves. 

“Today, well. It’s a rather sad day” Morgana commented. 

“Knowing that Arthur and Gwen didn’t make it to the next decade, I guess it is” Merlin agreed. 

“Today would’ve been my due date, I _think_ ” Morgana said quietly. “If I didn’t miscarry”.

“Already?” Merlin gasped. “Time _has_ flown by. Amhar’s fifteen months old”.

“Going to be a big brother soon” Morgana added. “Don’t get me wrong, I am upset about the miscarriage and I’m devastated that it happened. But now, now that I’m pregnant again I just can’t imagine it any other way. Of course I wonder about what could’ve been. Now, I don’t know about you but I’m finally at peace”.

“I’m glad” Merlin smiled. “It’s been a tough year, although pretty good”.

“It has” Morgana agreed. “I mean, we adopted Amhar and eloped on the same day, got pregnant”. They stayed at the graves for a little while, it was rather cold so they soon headed back home; yet not before stopping at Tesco on the way for a bottle of shloer. Neither Merlin or Morgana were drinking, and the alcohol free versions were said to be disgusting, so they opted for shloer instead. 

Dinner was eaten at seven as opposed to five, while Amhar was rather young to be staying up until midnight they did want to keep him up _slightly_ later than usual. Amhar was sat on the counter top while Merlin warmed up his formula on the hob, his bottle on the side with a small spoon of hot chocolate powder in, while Merlin and Morgana had the usual amount in their mugs, Morgana warming up the regular milk for hers and Merlin’s hot chocolate. 

“Mine” Amhar declared as he grabbed Merlin’s glass of shloer, drinking a little bit before making a face and throwing it on the floor. “Yuck!”.

“Amhar” Merlin sighed as he shook his head. “That’s _not_ yours”. Given that it _wasn’t_ alcohol—only fizzy grape juice, they _weren’t_ being the most careful about leaving it near Amhar. Morgana sighed and picked up Amhar, putting him in his highchair before resuming making the hot chocolate. Even though Christmas was over, they kept the table in the conservatory and moved Amhar’s highchair to the kitchen whenever they needed to contain him and have him not walking around, while Merlin cleared up the shattered glass. 

“I can’t believe we’re starting this new decade just us four” Morgana remarked. “No Arthur. No Gwen. No Morgause. Just us. Our little family”.

“Morgue!” Amhar squealed. 

“No, no Morgause” Merlin said. “Just dada, mama, Amhar and peanut”.

“Dada, mama, Amma and Pea Butt” Amhar said. 

“That’s right” Morgana exclaimed. “Good boy”.

“He’s getting so advanced” Merlin smiled as he stroked his head. 

“Gwen said the same thing” Morgana smiled back at the memory. “How because he was seven months old but advanced he could go forward facing”.

“That _was_ a bit shitty of us” Merlin agreed with a grimace. 

“Well, we didn’t know what we were doing” Morgana shrugged. 

“We’ll look into extended rear facing for the next one”.

“Let’s just hope we don’t have another car hater” Morgana agreed. “Apparently the baby seat with a handle is too reclined, which is why so many kids hate it”.

“Never knew that. You really do learn new things every day, don’t you”.

“Certainly not to leave a glass of shloer within reach of a fifteen month old because they will grab it and try to drink it” Morgana grinned. 

“Did you see his face!” Merlin laughed. “He _hated_ it”.

“No” Amhar said. 

“Liar” Merlin scoffed. 

“Right, hot chocolate and movie time” Morgana declared as she grabbed Amhar’s bottle and they made their way to the living room. Merlin loaded up the DVD player with “The greatest showman” and they began to watch the movie with their snacks and hot chocolate, Merlin and Morgana intertwined with Amhar on top of them. 

“It’s been a long decade” Morgana sighed as the end credits of the movie began to roll in. They’d finished off their snacks and hot chocolate, Amhar was asleep taking up half the sofa while the couple remained intertwined with a blanket thrown over then. 

“The start of this decade we were still in school” Morgana chuckled. “Turning sixteen years old. Has time flied or what?”.

“And now we’re married” Merlin smiled. “With a little one on the way. Want to go over the past decade?”.

“Let’s see” Morgana grinned like a Cheshire Cat. “2010, well pretty good. The year I was finally, legal I guess?”.

“Well now you can’t buy energy drinks until your sixteen” Merlin shrugged. 

“Pretty good, except gcse shit. Arthur and Gwen got married, then a-levels followed by uni. Dunno about you but mine was a blast”.

“I mean, it was pretty dece” Merlin smiled. “Getting drunk legally and all. I don’t really talk to that many people now”.

“Sefa and I went together and we’re still obviously in touch. Sometimes I talk to the other girls but not a lot of them”.

“2016, finally qualify as a teacher and take the NQT” Merlin added. 

“I took mine in Heriots. Loved it there” Morgana smiled at the memory. “It was great. Where’d you do yours?”.

“Avalon school” Merlin grimaced. “Posh as shit, as I’m sure you know”.

“Hm, I liked Heriots” Morgana shrugged. “Then well, transferred to Camelot grammar”. 

“And the rest is history”.

“It is” Morgana agreed. “We meet, Arthur and Morgause try _everything_ to keep us apart. Gorlois dies, Gwen is pregnant, miscarried, we’re in love and the memories return”.

“Let’s skip that part” Merlin chuckled nervously. 

“Arthur told me about Dylan, you ‘poisoned’ me, I skipped the ski trip and we broke up”.

“I was singing all by myself for some reason” Merlin chuckled. “It was a rather good trip. Even if it _was_ freezing”.

“You froze, but got a bed. DofE, we don’t freeze but we don’t get a bed”.

“Now neither of us are doing anymore trips” Merlin grinned. 

“Then Amhar was diagnosed with his CDH, summer time flew by, he was born and had his surgery, Arthur told me about the twins”.

“You’re really good at keeping secrets, you know that right” Merlin chuckled. 

“I know” Morgana winked. “Let’s see, 2019 started I was knocked up, not much happened”.

“Arthur and Gwen were drifting apart” Merlin added. “Will and I saw him meeting Dylan at the Magic Horse”.

“I remember that” Morgana was quiet for a moment as she remembered. “Then I celebrated my 25th, went to Disney, got knocked up”.

“Went on DofE, Gwen found out about Arthur’s other kids and then ... that ended well”.

“It sure did” Morgana sarcastically replied. “But without that, we wouldn’t have this. Our marriage, our baby”.

“They’re gone, but never forgotten” Merlin said. “More shloer?”.

“Please” Morgana said as she slid off of Merlin. They switched to BBC, watching Big Ben and as people waited for the fireworks to begin. 

* * *

_1st January 2020!_

The bells of Big Ben began to chime. The new decade had begun. 

“Happy New Year!” Merlin said as Morgana leant in to kiss him. 

“Happy New Year” Morgana grinned as they parted. “Happy new decade, even”.

“How is it 2020, just how!” Merlin exclaimed as he watched the fireworks begin to go off. 

“Our baby’s going to be born this year”.

“Holy shit, I’m going to be a parent!” Merlin’s eyes widened. 

“Yes dear, you have been since the sixteenth November. We agreed the adoption and whatnot”.

“I know, but. We’re having a baby. Our _own_ baby”.

“Eight months to go, need to wrap our heads around it. I mean, I’m excited”.

“Me too” Merlin agreed. “Now, I think we ought to get as much sleep as we can, while we can”.

“I have to agree on that” Morgana said as she picked up Amhar. She transferred him to the cot and Merlin and Morgana quickly fell asleep. They usually didn’t stay up that late, Amhar woke up early and tired them out so they would go to bed at ten, at the latest. 

When Morgana woke up, she was slightly surprised to find that she didn’t have nausea burning the back of her throat. Usually it’d be bad in the morning, sometimes lessening through the day with the medication, yet for once Morgana felt perfectly fine. She went over to the full length mirror, she still had some bloating. _Almost_ a glow of some sort. ‘Maybe pregnancy isn’t too bad after all’ she thought to herself as she went to the nursery. 

Amhar was asleep in his cot, clutching onto his bat and bunny as he sucked his dummy. Morgana gently lifted the tot, making sure to not drop his toys and cradled him in her arms, still in his sleeping bag. She carried him through to the bedroom, setting him down in the middle of the bed. She law next to him and watched the baby sleep, there was _nothing_ more peaceful or perfect than a sleeping baby. 

The sunlight began to creep in through the curtains. At first, Morgana had felt so bad about having to raise Amhar. Didn’t want it to happen. Yet now? It was all perfect. The death of Arthur and Gwen left a hole in her heart, yet it was beginning to grow around that hole. Life was perfect. Except for morning sickness. _First time of the decade throwing up._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, my goal was to finish this chapter before 2021 began and well, proud to say I met my goal!! My brothers watching a tv show and there’s morgana in it, she literally yelled at someone “I am your doom” omg the parallel w Merlin


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feud of the decade

  
**Here we are again. Lying on the floor. I can hear my name, under the bedroom door. You can change my day with a single word. You will never know how much it hurts. I hate the way I blame myself. I hate it when I cry. I hate it when the makeup’s running down my eyes. I hate the way you look at me, I know I’m not what you want. And I’m not coming back, I’m already gone. So are you gonna give me a reason to stay, or are you gunna let me throw it all away? If I’m already broken, there’s nothing left to break. So don’t try and give me a reason to stay**

_6th January 2020_

“Yay. Back to work again” Morgana grumbled as she took her iron tablets and anti-sickness medication. “And I feel fucking dead”. January, the first month of the decade now, as usual was wrought with cold and flu viruses, alongside some rumour of a new type of cold that killed people. It didn’t help having morning sickness, both Merlin and Morgana had spent the first week of the decade cooped up in bed feeling as though they were going to die. 

“You’ve got this” Merlin smiled. “At least you don’t have to invigilate”.

“Pregnancy perks” Morgana smirked. “Mithian still has to invigilate and she’s pregnant. Yet she doesn’t have morning sickness so won’t be running out the room every so often. Haha, instead I get a _lovely_ nap during a free period”.

“It’s my birthday soon, hopefully I get a day off invigilating for then” Merlin mused. 

“Your birthday’s soon? When is it?”.

“Sixteenth. Turning twenty six”.

“We’re so old” Morgana chuckled. 

“Tell that to Morgause” Merlin joked. 

“Honestly, I’m just. I’m just done with her” Morgana sighed as she sat at the table. 

“She still not said anything?” Merlin asked. 

“No” Morgana sighed. “She’s left me on read. Today will be awkward”.

“Extremely” Merlin agreed. “Well, Mrs Emrys. Ought to get used to the new name”.

“I sure have” Morgana smirked. “Mr and Mrs Emrys”.

“The school power couple: Mr and Mrs Emrys” Merlin grinned as he waved his hand in front across the garden, as though he was attempting to show off the horizon. 

“I like it” Morgana chuckled. “Provided that we don’t get shut down, world war three and that”.

“Trump is a fucking idiot, someone _needs_ to take his phone away” Merlin sighed. 

“Well, provided that we’re not at war, he may kicked out in November”.

“He bloody better” Merlin muttered. “Sick of the evil cheese puff”

“Well, let’s head off soon. Amhar needs to go to nursery and I’m not driving”.

“No” Amhar said. 

“Sorry mate, you go every day” Morgana said. 

“No” Amhar repeated. “Mama”.

“I know sweet, but mama has to work” Morgana sighed. 

“Yeah” Amhar agreed sadly. “Bye bye mummy”.

They headed to work, Merlin parking in his usual spot and stopping off at her classroom and then the staff toilets before going to the staffroom. Everyone was sat on the chairs around, a meeting in progress. Merlin was already there too, yet while Morgana thought she’d be able to work, she was beginning to have her doubts after spewing up either breakfast or last night’s dinner for the past half an hour. 

“How are you?” Merlin whispered. 

“Still feeling sick. Urgh, stinks of coffee” Morgana replied. 

“So that’s that for the mocks” Nimeuh summarised. “I believe that Morgana and Merlin have an announcement to make”.

“Well, I changed my name to Mrs Emrys, we got married” Morgana grinned as she held Merlin’s hand. 

“You got married?” Will cocked an eyebrow. 

“I can’t fucking believe this” Morgause muttered as she left out the side door. 

“What! They’re married!” Freya shrieked. 

“I knew it!” Mithian smirked. “I knew you two were hiding something”.

“No wonder you didn’t want to go Oxford street with me!” Sefa mocked offence. “Too busy getting married”.

“Congratulations!” Mithian added as she waddled over to them. She was due in a months time, and her bump had grown _a lot_ over the Christmas period. She reached out to them for a hug which Merlin and Morgana gave back. After many congratulations, given there were no bells, many people were religiously checking the time and realised that it was time to go to form or to head to the hall to invigilate. 

“Well, I have to go. Maths is first so we’re briefing the kids” Merlin sighed. 

“Good luck” Morgana sighed sympathetically. 

“You too” Merlin offered. “Especially with Morgause”.

“She has the lower sixth form, Sefa has first form and I believe that Morgue is busy all day”.

“That’s good then” Merlin smiled, leaning in to kiss her. 

“Nope” Morgana coughed. “Coffee”. She closed her eyes hoping the roiling in her stomach would stop. Or at least hold off until she was in the safety of the toilets. 

“Take care”.

“You too” Morgana half heartedly said, turning in the direction of the english area and legging it. She wouldn’t make it to form, not that she cared. They had mocks anyway, Mithian or Morgause could sort them out. 

‘Why the fuck didn’t I accept the doctor signing me off for longer?’ she thought to herself as she knelt in front of the toilet bowl heaving. She could hear someone waiting outside—huffing and puffing, _clearly_ Morgause yet remained there knelt over the toilet until she knew lessons had started. Morgause had the sixth years anyway, while Sefa had the second years. 

“I think I’m dying” Morgana muttered to herself as she tried to breathe once more. Someone kept knocking at the door, Morgana tried to ignore whoever it was but they kept knocking. 

“Sorry, it’s me!”. Ah, Mithian. “Baby keeps kicking the bladder. You okay in there?”. Morgana coughed and opened the door, going to what used to be the sickroom next to the staff toilet. Yet they still had kept a bed there, so she lay down on it, it now being used as a staff rest room which she had somewhat been ‘allocated’. 

“So sorry” Mithian apologised again as she went into the toilet and locked the door. “You okay?” Mithian asked as she emerged. Morgana was still laying down on the bed staring up at the ceiling. 

“I’m _fine_ ” Morgana insisted through gritted teeth. “Perfectly fine”.

“Do you know what’s up with Morgause lately?” Mithian asked as she sat on the bed. “I mean, I’m the pregnant one so I’m meant to be hormonal. Wait, you don’t think Morgause?”.

Morgana laughed bitterly. “No. Morgause isn’t pregnant. I don’t _think_ so anyway. I mean, I told her about the marriage on Boxing Day as Merlin and I eloped, she got pissed of and we haven’t spoken since”.

“Damn” Mithian whispered. “I mean, you _were_ so close. And now”.

“I know” Morgana sighed. “Look I, I wanted to apologise about what happened all those thousand odd years ago. It was wrong of me to do what I did and I uh, I really do regret it. I’m sorry”.

“Apology accepted” Mithian smiled. “I need another coffee. Baby kept me up all night. You want one?”.

Morgana retched and darted off the bed into the toilet once more. Mithian watched in surprise, mouth wide open. 

“Oh, by the way, I’m pregnant” Morgana said as she turned around from the bowl. “So I’ve gone off coffee. _Please_ don’t drink it in my presence or I _will_ vomit everywhere”.

“Congratulations” Mithian exclaimed. “Don’t worry, I’ll bear that in mind. When you due?”.

“July, so it’s still early”.

“Of course, won’t tell anyone. Congratulations, that’s great! No wonder you were off for a while last term”.

“Did you have morning sickness to the point of hospitalisation?” Morgana asked. 

“No” Mithian replied. “If that’s the case, you really shouldn’t be in”.

“Well aren’t you lucky” Morgana muttered. 

Merlin walked in with a chuckle. “Been looking for you. You okay?”.

“Bleh” Morgana replied as she lay back on the bed, while Merlin shut the door. There was a door to the toilet and room combined, along with a separate toilet cubicle. 

“Oh my god, the kids are thinking they’re having their exams cancelled” Merlin chuckled. 

“I heard that” Mithian added with a smile. “Lucy and Harriet, wasn’t it?”.

“Cant forget Millie” Merlin chuckled. “Poor thing was confused _as usual_ ”.

“So what exactly happened?” Morgana asked. 

“Well, Lucy said we’re going into World War three so that we won’t be able to sit our exams because we’ll all be _dead_ ”.

“GCSE’s have never been cancelled” Mithian shrugged. “Wishful thinking probably. I don’t think they’ve ever been cancelled?”.

“It’s every sixteen year old’s dream” Merlin shrugged. 

“Well Trump is a fucking idiot” Morgana sighed. “Well what do you all think, world war three or nah?”.

“Well let’s see what happens between you and Morgause first” Mithian joked. 

“Well we need to teach Amhar to say her name properly for a start” Merlin chuckled. 

“What does he call her?” Mithian asked. 

“Morgue” Morgana replied. 

“What!” Mithian gasped as she began to laugh. “He calls her _Morgue_. As in the dead person part of a hospital”.

“He does” Morgana smirked as she bit her lip. “Well, what do you think? Are we going into world war 3?”.

“Trump is a fucking scoundrel” Mithian shrugged. “Why would he try to make a deal with someone and then kill their general”.

“It’s trump, he’s an evil orange” Morgana shrugged. 

“2020, I highly doubt we’re going to break out in World War 3, climate change and all that” Merlin added. 

“Let’s hope you’re right, Merlin” Mithian agreed. 

“Anyway, I’m going to try to get shit done before I have the second years, probably book another doctor’s appointment and avoid Morgause” Morgana decided as she sat up. She briefly leant against the bed once more as the world began to spin, yet slowly got up and stood. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Merlin checked. 

“I’ll book _another_ doctors appointment tomorrow, probably” Morgana sighed. “I’ve heard it gets worse before it gets better etcetera but this is _unbearable_ ”.

“As is you not talking to Morgause” Merlin grumbled. “I have to say, I _do_ miss her. I never thought this day would come”.

“Well I thought I’d never end up married to you and pregnant but here we are” Morgana shrugged. “Thats life. Unpredictable”.

“Plus World War 3 is about to start” Mithian added. “So maybe exams will be cancelled”.

“World War 4, you mean” Morgana corrected. “Morgause and I are currently at World War 3”.

“It really _does_ feel that way” Merlin muttered. 

“Well, come on then. Back to work” Morgana sighed. 

“Will told me I owe him an explanation, I ought to do exactly that” Merlin chuckled. 

“Have fun with Freya” Morgana offered. 

“You too with Morgause and Alvarr” Merlin replied. 

Morgana walked over to her room, Mithian went to the staff room for her coffee and Merlin went to the maths block. Morgana sat down at her desk and went on her computer. She heard footsteps outside yet given that they were now in the main school building instead of the separate english and performing arts block, it was rather expected. Yet the repeated footsteps, not exactly the most expected. Not _at all._ She checked her watch—around half nine, so first period was over. Sefa had the first years and they did take a while to pack up, Mithian was walking as little as possible. Morgana looked up to see whoever was pacing. Morgause. Her sister knocked on the door and then let herself in. 

“Congratulations, Mrs Emrys” Morgause sneered. “Can’t fucking believe you, I thought we were close”.

“Morgause, we are close” Morgana sighed. “Me and Merlin getting married has not changed that in _any way”_. 

“Except for the fact that you’re legally fucking bound to one another, till death do you part but hey, now you have it all. You have it fucking all”.

“What _are_ you talking about” Morgana asked. 

“You’ve got it all, haven’t you. Everything you ever wanted. The house, the baby, the husband. Funny, how you were in the car at the time” Morgause raised an eyebrow. 

“What on earth are you saying!” Morgana exclaimed. 

“I think we _both_ know what I’m saying” Morgause shook her head. 

“Morgause I don’t know why you’re being like this!” Morgana sighed as she put her head in her hands. 

“Your car is out of service, you go with Arthur and Gwen. Then the both of them die, yet you and the baby survive”.

“What the?” Morgana asked bewilderedly. “Morgause, what the hell is going on with you!”.

“Just think about it. If they didn’t crash, would you still have the baby, the house and the husband?” Morgause retorted as she shut the door and left the room. Morgana ended up going home once more, curling herself up in bed with her ‘special’ bowl. Morgause’s words echoed around her head. 

‘ _ **Why did Arthur have to keep all those secrets. Why did the car have to crash? Why did my baby have to die? Yeah, I fucked up there with Alvarr and got pregnant. Yeah, I fucked up seeing as I had morning sickness and didn’t want to drive so went with Arthur and Gwen’**_. Morgana found herself playing the events over and over again in her head. She lay on her back staring up at the ceiling, given that even _slight_ movement of _anything_ would make her more nauseous. The sound of the front door opening, Merlin walking in with Amhar took her out of her thoughts. 

“Morgana” Merlin called as he stood outside the bedroom door. “Can I come in?”.

“Okay” Morgana gasped, Merlin opened the door and let himself in. 

“What happened, love?”.

“Morgause” Morgana sobbed. 

Merlin sighed. He _knew_ it’d be Morgause. “What’s she done this time?”.

“She ... she was saying .... about how .... it’s ... my ... fault” Morgana hiccuped. “That ... it’s .... _my_ fault ... the ....car crashed”.

“What a load of fucking bullshit” Merlin rolled his eyes. “Look, it is not your fault. It’s no ones fault. You can be the most cautious driver in the world yet still, you can’t control other people”.

“I know” Morgana sniffed. “I know. But still”.

“Morgause doesn’t matter” Merlin said sternly. He had his ‘teacher voice’ on. “We both know it is not your fault. We just made the best of a shitty situation”.

“Yeah” Morgana breathed shakily. “I guess we did do _exactly_ that. Make the best of a shitty situation”.

“Yet it’s now become the best situation” Merlin smiled. “I was once told, that you’re the darkness to my light. Yet if you flip that around”.

“The light to your darkness” Morgana completed. “That, that makes sense”.

“The hatred to your love, flip that around and it becomes the love to your hatred”.

“So because Morgause hates the fact that we’re married, it just makes our love stronger” Morgana chuckled. 

“More or less” Merlin laughed. “Fuck her”.

“Merlin, that’s incest”.

“You get what I mean. Even without the crash, it doesn’t mean that we wouldn’t have been a couple. We easily could’ve figured things out and still ended up like this”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It snowed yesterday and actually set!! It hasn’t snowed in YEARS so that was nice


	11. Chapter 11

**It feels like a tear in my heart, like a part of me missing and I just can’t feel it, I’ve tried and I’ve tried. I’ve tried. Tears on my face I can’t take it, if lonely is a taste then it’s all that I’m tasting. Do you hear me cry? I cry, oh. Can you hold me? Can you hold me? Can you hold me in your arms?**

_13th January 2020_

Morgana was finally out of the “danger zone” of the first twelve weeks of pregnancy. Despite that, the morning sickness was showing no signs of budging and after ending up in hospital twice more, Morgana was signed off work. Merlin and Morgana were sat in the outpatients antenatal department of Avalon hospital, awaiting the scan and twelve week screening for Downs, Edward’s and Patau’s syndrome. The midwife had told Morgana to drink a lot of water before the scan, and now she felt as though she was going to _explode_. 

“Morgana Emrys” one of the midwives called. Merlin and Morgana grinned at each other before Morgana waddled into the scan room and lay down on the table. 

“Let’s take a look” the midwife said. “There’s the placenta, and there is the baby”.

“Our baby” Morgana said as she looked at the screen. She’d already had quite a few scans, yet she still found herself welling up at the sight of the baby. 

“Would you like some photos?”.

“Definitely” Merlin said. .

“I’m sure you won’t be able to feel it yet, but the baby seems to be moving”.

“Is that the hand?” Morgana gasped. 

“It is” the midwife smiled. “That’s the hand. As you can see, baby is moving around _quite_ a lot in there”. Merlin and Morgana watched as the measurements of the baby were taken. Morgana was given a due date of 27th July, and they had many photos taken of the baby, the midwife going to print them off and to get Morgana ready for her blood test. She opted to have the twelve week screening, which tested for Edward’s syndrome, Patau’s syndrome and Down’s syndrome. Merlin abs Morgana were unsure whether to have the testing, yet deciding if there was to be a bad outcome, they’d want to know so that they could be prepared. Morgana rushed of to the loo while the midwife went to print the photos out, given that the printer in the scan room they were in was broken.

“Baby’s measurements look good, yet there is something that it worth mentioning”.

“Is everything okay?” Morgana asked. 

“The baby’s nuchal translucency is measuring at 3.4mm, which is borderline for normal yet almost on the larger size” the midwife explained. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Merlin asked. 

“Those babies who have a higher nuchal translucency usually tend to be associated with downs syndrome. For now, i don’t think it’s something to worry about but it is worth keeping an eye on”.

“So there’s a ... there’s a _chance_ that something could be wrong?” Morgana asked. 

“It’s not necessarily likely but it is something worth looking further into. You are having the combined screening?”.

Morgana nodded vigorously. “Yes, definitely”.

“In that case, I don’t think it’s anything to worry about” she reassured her. “The measurements show that the rest is OK, we just thought it worthwhile telling you”. Morgana nodded and squeezed Merlin’s hand as she had her blood drawn. As they went back home, they were in solemn moods. They had been so ready to have a baby, been having scans, Morgana was taking her pregnacare even if the morning sickness was unbearable, only for _this_ to happen. It wasn’t yet confirmed, not that it stopped the worrying. 

“There ... I mean ... how” Morgana sighed. “Why. Why”.

“I know” Merlin said. “I know, love. It is still within the normal range, even if it is high”.

“I’m scared” Morgana admitted. “It  
was scary enough having Amhar’s birth problems. Another baby with problems, I don’t know how we’re going to do it”.

“We’ll find a way” Merlin vowed. “I promise”.

Morgana had read up, finding the poem welcome to Holland and taping it to the fridge. 

_When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting._  
 _After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."_  
 _"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."_  
 _But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay._  
 _The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place._  
 _So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met._  
 _It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts._  
 _But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had_ _planned."_  
 _And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss._  
 _But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland_.

“It’s just like this with Amhar” Merlin sighed. “Yet, we do enjoy life, don’t we?”.

“We do” Morgana agreed. “We do. Maybe if things won’t be too bad. I mean, we have had pretty bad luck. Nine months to prepare and all that”. The blood test results came back on Merlin’s birthday with a 1:1350 chance of Downs, Patau’s or Edwards syndrome. Merlin and Morgana decided that they’d not investigate further. 

* * *

_20th January 2020_

Armed with both cyclizine and ondansetron, Morgana returned to work after her second two week hiatus, now thirteen weeks pregnant. Her old clothes did still fit, yet she had to buy maternity trousers, given that her work trousers had stopped fitting. With the end of mocks came the marking and ensuring that the students were in the right sets in order to carry on with their GCSE. Set one two and three would continue to study English literature while set four would focus on English language instead. 

“Well, we did have quite a few people writing about death for our English language descriptive writing” Mithian remarked. 

“It’s 2020” Morgause shrugged. “I mean, what with all the shit going on in the world, I _can’t_ say I’m surprised”.

“Jesus there has been a lot happening this year so far” Sefa sighed. 

“Can’t believe that it’s only January” Morgana muttered. “Let’s see, we’ve had world war three have a bit of a breakout, brexit, Meghan and Harry have fucked of to Canada”.

“There’s a virus which is basically a cold that kills people” Mithian added. 

“And we’re not going into world war three” Morgause raised an eyebrow. “Because of that virus”.

“Bit like world war three in here” Sefa muttered under her breath. 

“What was that, Sefa?” Morgause snapped. 

“Nothing” Sefa muttered. “Kobe Bryant’s dead, there’s a bunch of bushfires”.

“Avalanches in the Himalayas, floods in Indonesia...world has gone mad” Mithian sighed. 

“No shit” Morgause retorted. She shot Morgana a dirty look. 

“Come on, Morgause. Just accept it and get over it” Morgana sighed. 

“No” Morgause turned away like a petulant toddler sticking out her bottom lip, as Amhar tended to do when he didn’t want something. 

“Morgause, there are worse things happening in the world, look at the coronavirus” Mithian said. “You know, you’re healthy, happy”.

“That’s debatable” Morgause muttered. 

“We’re free to leave our houses and do as we wish” Mithian continued. “People in China are being boarded in their houses. Be grateful, Morgause”.

“I suppose” Morgause muttered. “I suppose so”. Lunch time came quickly, Morgana opting to avoid the staffroom given that it reeked of coffee or whatever the others had decided to eat. Merlin tended to keep his lunch in the fridge in the staffroom so headed over and warmed it up quickly. 

“Hey Merlin” Freya greeted. 

“Hi” Merlin replied. “How are you?”.

“Pretty hyped to be honest” Freya giggled. “I’m going on the ski trip soon, which looks rather fun”.

“It does” Merlin agreed. “Where is it this time?”.

“Some resort in Italy that I forgot the name of” Freya shrugged. “It’s going to be me, Vivian and Alvarr”.

“That sounds good. Have fun” Merlin said before he went back to Morgana’s room to eat lunch with her. 

Merlin and Morgana were glad to be home with Amhar asleep in his cot. Morgana was trying not to fall asleep herself, having thrown up badly after getting home from work, so was resting on the sofa. In her opinion it was way to early to go to bed—at only seven thirty. Amhar would have his bottle on the sofa at half six, then after in the night garden go upstairs to have a quick bath and then settle in the cot by himself. Not what they expected—someone knocking at the door. 

“I’ll get it” Merlin sighed as he went to the door. 

“Hello” Morgause slurred. “Merlin. The idiot, who prances with destiny and fate”.

“Are you drunk?” Merlin sighed. 

“No” Morgause lied. She burped. “You’re an arsehole”.

“Whatever you say hun” Merlin rolled his eyes. “You should go home”.

“Why?” Morgause whined. “You can’t tell me what to do. You might be my brother in law but still. We all know what I said was true. Would you get with her if the car didn’t crash? Would you?” Morgause began to get in his face. “Would you? Huh!”.

Merlin rolled his eyes and soon felt his fist colliding with Morgause’s face. “Shit” he muttered to himself. He noticed that Cenred was waiting in the car, directed Morgause over to the car and went back in the house. 

“The fuck just happened?” Morgana asked. “Was that Morgause?”.

“Yup” Merlin sighed as he sat down on the sofa. “She was going on about ... you know.

“Not again” Morgana groaned. “Is that _blood on your hands_?”.

“Lemme go wash it off” Merlin grimaced. 

“Good idea” Morgana agreed. 

On Monday Morgause came into work with a splint on her nose. It was _broken_. 

“I ain’t got a clue what happened” Morgause rambled to Morgana. “It was strange. I remember I got drunk, then next thing I know I’m in minor injuries being treated for a broken nose”.

“Is that so?” Morgana raised her eyebrows. 

“It was _weird_!” Morgause repeated. “I mean, I think I saw Merlin but I can’t be sure. You two are adorable together. I’ve totally forgiven you for getting married”.

“Well that’s a relief isn’t it” Morgana muttered. 

“I wanted to apologise” Morgause sighed. “Look, I really really fucked up with what I said. I know that it wasn’t right of me to do, I am so sorry”.

“Morgause, sorry cannot count for what you said” Morgana replied. “We won’t be able to go back to being as close as we were before. There isn’t simply a way that it’s happening”.

“I know” Morgause sighed once more. “I know. I’ll _try_ to make it up. I promise”.

Morgana rolled her eyes. “Okay, Morgause”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah whoops ... couldn’t not have Merlin punching Morgause


	12. Chapter 12

  
**I’ve waited a hundred years, but I’d wait a million more for you. Nothing prepared me for the what the privilege of being yours would do. If only I had felt the warmth within your touch. If only I had seen how you smile when you blush. Or how you curl your lip, when you concentrate enough then I would’ve known. What I was living for all along. What I’ve been living for. Your love is my turning page, only the sweetest words remain**

_1st February 2020_

The first month of the decade had finally ended, and it had sure been a long month. Not only were there the physical things happening around the world, yet also the fact that Morgana and Morgause had been feuding. Morgause had apologised profusely yet both Merlin and Morgana were still furious with her, given that Morgana had been struggling with depression before and seemed to go further into that hole ever since Morgause’s words, even though pregnancy was suppose to be one of the most joyous times of a woman’s life. Ultimately, the sisters had drifted after their feud, and while Morgana (and Merlin!) wanted things to go back to the way they were, too much had happened. 

“Baby shopping is so much fun!” Mithian squealed as she grabbed a double iCandy pram. “How does this one look? Baby in basket and a toddler seat for Amhar”.

“Meh” Morgana shrugged. “It’s £2000! No thank you”.

“Oh look you can take the front seat off” Mithian said as she tried to pull it off. “I think. Fuck it, I don’t know how to”.

“Hang on, I’ll try Amhar out in it” Morgana sighed. She gestured to Merlin to lift Amhar up and put him in, still feeling rather dizzy after throwing up on the journey there. 

“No” Morgana scowled. “I don’t like that one. Let’s see a different one”. Merlin sighed and transferred Amhar to his own buggy and followed Morgana and Mithian. 

“Having fun mate?” Leon asked with a chuckle. Leon was Mithian’s husband, they’d met at a nightclub five years prior. Leon had been a physiotherapist, yet recently was having doubts about his job ever since marrying Mithian, yet the school’s physiotherapist was leaving come end of the year so Leon had decided to step in. 

“It’s pretty exciting” Merlin grinned. “Damn, this’ll get confusing soon enough. Two Leon’s around”.

“So who’s the second one then?”.

“Arthur’s fifteen year old son” Merlin deadpanned. 

“Oh shit” Leon chuckled. “Wait ... I can remember him I think. We used to work together”.

“Did you?” Merlin asked. He wasn’t _exactly_ surprised by the revel, yet slightly was at the same time. 

“Yeah” Leon replied. “The twins were just born at that time. I was his best man at the wedding”.

“He never mentioned it. Neither did Morgana”.

“She had other priorities at that time, gcses, A-Levels and all” Leon shrugged. “Well, how’s married life?”. 

“It’s brilliant” Merlin grinned. “Absolutely brilliant. We kept it under wraps for quite a while—a few months—safe to say once Morgause found out”. Merlin and Leon shuddered at her name. “That was a fucking disaster”.

“Sounds like she hasn’t changed much” Leon muttered. 

“I broke her nose” Merlin grinned. 

“You _what_?”.

“Broke her nose” Morgana grinned. “Oh but that is fucking complicated. I like these prams”.

“The egg?” Mithian asked. “I love my egg pram. I have the diamond black, which is rose gold along the matching i-size shell car seat”.

“Wow, an egg shell car seat” Morgana rolled her eyes. “And not the egg, the bugaboo”.

“This is fun....” Leon remarked. “How did you break Morgause’s nose?”.

“She turned up drunk to our place being...well, _Morgause_. Okay, that bugaboo cameleon looks so good”.

“I know!” Morgana agreed. “So I want that one, now we need a double one”.

“Is it done yet?” Leon asked. 

Morgana flipped her hair over her shoulder. “No. I need to check that I like it first, then choose a double, look at car seats. Although I have got a while”.

“Right, what next? Car seats?” Mithian asked. 

“I just said I need a double buggy” Morgana face palmed. “I like the double bugaboo having them next to each other, but it’s a tad expensive”.

“A tad?” Merlin raised an eyebrow. “The single one is £700, double is £1800. We’d be bankrupt before the baby gets here”.

“We’re getting the double second hand” Morgana hissed. “We _are saving money_ ”.

* * *

_10th February 2020_

The first week of February had not necessarily been the best. Storm Ciara was on the way, therefore it was _extremely_ windy all day and night long as the storm approached. Morgana’s morning sickness had another flare up and she spent the majority of the weekend knelt in front of the toilet followed by her fourth hospital admission, finally having the sickness begin to subside after having a drip. Morgana decided that she was well enough to return to work for the majority of the time, provided that she had an emergency bucket under her desk and stayed away from the coffee. Mithian went on maternity leave at the beginning of the February given that her due date was rapidly approaching—the tenth of February. Mithian’s maternity cover had begun to work—Ninianne. Ninianne had gotten on rather well with Morgana given that they went to university together, together with Sefa forming a “golden trio” of sorts, while Morgause whined about how old she was getting. Morgana had another private scan now that she was sixteen weeks and could find out the sex. The scanner wrote the sex in an enveloped piece of paper that they’d hand to someone working in the shop downstairs when they decided to find out. They’d then fill a black balloon with either pink or blue confetti. 

Storm Ciara had also hit the United Kingdom and most of Europe causing power outages across Camelot. Many of the children’s houses had power outages so were rather grateful that when going into school that the heatings were on full blast. They also allowed students to have coffee, tea or hot chocolate around the school, though Morgana had inflicted a blanket ban on having hot drinks in her room. Ultimately, all of Morgana’s fifth years then had to wait in the hallway while they downed their drinks, while Morgause’s class waited for her to arrive. 

“It’s absolutely _freezing_!” Lucy whined. 

“Heating is on in there” Morgana shrugged. She took a shaky breath at the smell of coffee. Ew. “It’s not _that_ big of a deal. Anyway, you’re in Miss LeFay’s class so you can have the drink”.

“She never stops whining” Harriet added with a roll of her eyes. “First she’d whine about me saying I’m tired due to lack of coffee, _then_ she’d whine about how I smell of coffee”.

“She’s not the only one” Morgana muttered under her breath. “Go in and unpack, I’ll be back in a minute”. Morgana walked down the corridor breathing heavily as she felt bile rising in her throat once more. 

“I have dibs on the toilet!” Morgause called. Morgana ignored her and fell to her knees, not bothering to close the door as she heaved. “Okay, you have dibs”. Morgause wrinkled her nose as best she could with a splint, uttering to Sefa and Ninianne to sort out the students and make sure they were in their classrooms. She followed her sister into the bathroom and locked the door, rubbing her back. 

“Do you need anything?” Morgause asked. 

“Water” Morgana croaked. Morgause went back to Morgana’s class, instructing them to read through ‘A Christmas carol’, likewise with her own class before she went back to Morgana with her water. 

“You okay?” Morgause asked, the concern evident in her voice. Morgana nodded. “Well, you’re clearly not, having had a bunch of time of off work, throwing up all over the place and”.

“I’m pregnant” Morgana interrupted with a smile. 

“What!” Morgause screamed. When Morgana turned to look at her sister, she expected to see a grimace or snarl of some sort. Instead, she was rather surprised at seeing a large grin across Morgause’s face. “You’re pregnant!”.

“I am” Morgana nodded. 

“Holy shit” Morgause cried. She held her arms open and Morgana went into her embrace. “Holy shit. Congratulations”.

“Thank you” Morgana smiled. 

“When are you due?”.

“July”.

“So you’ve known ... a _while_ then”.

“We were going to tell you” Morgana sighed. “But uh ... well, you know”.

“You know, I thought this was _finally_ the year that Cenred would propose. Except he didn’t. So I’ve begun to come to terms with that I suppose, then I somewhat knew you and Merlin would get married eventually so I think I put myself mentally on that place”.

“Well now, you’re going to have a niece or nephew instead”.

“I can’t believe it!” Morgause shrieked. “Congratulations Sis. So, do you know what you’re having yet?”.

“We had the sixteen week scan, I have my sixteen week midwife appointment later today and then we did get the sonographer to write down the sex so we shall see”.

“Team girl” Morgause smirked gently punching Morgana’s arm. 

“Anyway, we have stuff to do. Exams and all. Let’s go”. After another hug from Morgause, the sisters went back to their own classrooms ready to teach. Morgana left shortly before lunch for her midwife appointment driving over to Avalon hospital. For the most part, the appointment had gone well, even though Morgana did end up being referred to a consultant due to low BMI. Nonetheless, the online stories and endless research Morgana had conducted made her and Merlin feel more comfortable, given that it was likely to be more of a precaution due to HG. The pregnancy was still considered low risk, yet Morgana would have to see the consultant in the next few weeks to see how things would pan out. 

Not all was bad though. As Merlin and Morgana were discussing the appointment and Morgana told Merlin about how she’d told Morgause the news, Amhar toddled into the conservatory now playroom, leaning on the glass as he watched the snow falling. 

“Mama! Dada! Wook!” Amhar called. Merlin and Morgana went over to the toddler, Morgana picking up Amhar as they watched the snow fall. Merlin and Morgana grinned at each other, dressing Amhar in his snowsuit that they _finally_ had a use for, Morgana donning her waterproof over trousers while Merlin tried to dress accordingly as they went out in the small garden. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BAHAHAHA so the weekend before it snowed I have pictures of me and my cousins out on a bouncy castle with no shoes or coats then two days later it snowed


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gender reveal and Mithian has the baby!

  
**I** **feel it in my fingers. I feel it in my toes. It’s written on the wind. It’s everywhere I go. Love is all around me. And so the feeling grows. So if you really love me, come on and let it show**

_14th February 2020_

“Well, happy Valentine’s Day love” Merlin smiled as he fed Amhar his porridge. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day” Morgana smiled. “And yes, the rule is still _no coffee_ ”.

“I couldn’t forget” Merlin chuckled. “Let’s see, we have my parents coming down for the week on Monday, Mithian is due any second now, the consultant appointment”.

“You know what? I think we should do it today” Morgana grinned. 

“Do what? Have sex?” Merlin asked. “We have work today, even if it is Valentine’s Day”.

“Not _have_ sex” Morgana chuckled. “Well, it’d be nice to. Now that I’m only throwing up whenever I smell coffee or wake up in the morning. I meant find out the sex of the baby”.

“We should” Merlin agreed. “Tonight?”.

“After work. We can come home, get changed for dinner at the restaurant, and find out what we’re having”.

“Team girl or team boy?” Merlin asked. 

“Boy, I think” Morgana decided. “You?”.

Merlin bit his lip. “Girl”.

“We’ve already spoilt them” Morgana grimaced. In the time she’d been pregnant, they’d already bought the car seat—a Cybex Cloud Z i-size with it’s matching Z bases. The base could later be used for the toddler seat and could rotate with both the baby and toddler seat on unlike most modular car seat bases, which both Merlin and Morgana decided they _loved_ after spending an hour playing with it in the shop. 

“Is this because we spent over £600 on the car seats?” Merlin asked. 

“Let’s see what else” Morgana mused. “Your parents are _insisting_ on paying for the pram— which is £800”.

“It’s £600 in the sale, besides it’s the wedding present!” Merlin protested. 

“A £200 Next2Me that admittedly I wanted”.

“Well, babies are expensive”.

“They _definitely_ are” Morgana agreed. “Well, I don’t think we need to get much more. We have the travel cot from Amhar, his bath support, clothes”.

“We’ll be fine” Merlin reassured her with a smile. “We’ll be fine”.

“Right, time for work” Morgana said as she put her plate in the sink and went to get changed. She’d slowly started transitioning to maternity clothes and was almost certain that after the February half term ended that she’d be in mainly maternity clothes. She hadn’t told the students that she was pregnant yet, though she had told the rest of the department as she was getting rather bad at hiding it as of late. Mithian still hadn’t had the baby and was very vocal about the fact that she was absolutely fed up of being pregnant and overdue. The last day of the first half of the Lent term went by surprisingly quickly given it was Valentine’s Day, everyone happy to go home at the end of the day. Merlin and Morgana tended to leave as soon as their last lesson finished, yet usually would wait a few minutes and pack up, yet today they’d packed up all the books they’d need for the weekend in the car at lunch and went straight to collect Amhar from nursery. They’d decided on their outfits the night before and picked up the balloon, so Morgana wouldn’t take too long changing and deciding Amhar’s outfit. 

Merlin and Morgana balanced their phone’s on the wall next to the table, moving the chairs out the way. The balloon had a weight with a blue and pink heart, covered in white question marks. 

“Ready to see?” Morgana asked with a grin as Merlin picked up Amhar. 

“I sure am” Merlin smiled. He hit record and they took the pins off the table. “Amhar, is the baby going to be a boy or a girl?”.

“Boy” Amhar decided. 

“Okay, three ... two ... one” Morgana grinned. They popped the balloon showering themselves in confetti. Merlin looked around. He saw Morgana grinning as she held the blue confetti. _Blue confetti._

“We’re having a boy!” Merlin gasped. 

“It’s a boy” Morgana cried with a grin. “Oh my god, it’s a boy!”.

“The baby’s a boy! We’re having a son!”.

“I can’t believe it! Well, we ought to start thinking of names soon!”.

They went out for dinner before returning home and having the best sex, given that they hadn’t had sex before Morgana was pregnant. Four whole months of abstaining, yet the wait was _worth it._

* * *

_16th February 2020_

Merlin and Morgana rushed around getting the house ready for Hunith and Balinor. Morgana had offered them her bed but given that she was pregnant they both profusely refused, instead offering to sleep on an air mattress in Amhar’s room. Merlin and Morgana both protested yet Hunith and Balinor were more stubborn and found themselves setting up Amhar’s nursery, inflating the mattress while Amhar jumped up and down in his cot. He tended to use it as a trampoline these days, not that Merlin and morgana minded. It was a good way to contain him, and they’d probably have to move him out at some point in the next nine months. While they were unsure on how they’d parent the baby, they knew that they’d have him in a Chicco Next2me for _at least_ the first six months, probably co-sleep until he was one followed by moving into a cot. Either way, Merlin and Morgana were almost adamant on attachment parenting, having looked at many slings and Morgana planned to breastfed for at least two years. 

“You do the sheets, I’ll try to put the duvet on” Morgana said. 

“It’s easier to do it together” Merlin shrugged. Morgana shot him a pointed look. “I’ll do the duvet then if you want”.

“Okay” Morgana shrugged as she went to one corner of the mattress and got down on her knees and secured one corner. 

“Hold it, I’ll get the other one” Merlin said. Morgana knelt on the corner of the mattress, checking her phone to see if she had any messages. **Mithian**. 

“Mithian’s messaged” Morgana commented. 

“Wonder if she’s had the baby yet” Merlin mused. Morgana unlocked her phone and went to whatsapp, where Mithian was messaging. 

_13:18–She’s here! 8lb 6oz x_

_13:35–any chance you can come visit [laughing emoji]. My parents and Leon’s are still at work. Baby’s off having her hearing test. Pretty nice to have a newborn but I’m bored as shit haha x_

“Mithian wants us to visit. She’s had the baby”. Morgana began to text back. _**Congratulations, so happy for you! What hospital/ward/visiting hours? It’d be great to see you and bub x**_

“That’s nice” Merlin smiled. “Really happy for her. Girl or boy?”.

“She’s known it’s a girl for a while” Morgana rolled her eyes. “Eight pounds six ounces”.

“That’s big” Merlin whistled. “Did she say the hospital?”.

_13:46– Northern plains, maternity ward. Bed 17. Visiting hours are all day (8:30-8:30) and I presume Amhar’ll need to go to bed before they end_

“Okay, off we go” Morgana decided as she took Amhar out his cot. 

“Now?” Merlin asked as he secured the last corner on the bed. 

“Why not?” Morgana shrugged. 

“I like the way you think” Merlin smirked. “Your car?”.

“Yeah” Morgana replied as they went to their cars. Morgana decided to drive, getting to the hospital at around two just as Amhar had woken up from his short nap. He didn’t go back to sleep as Merlin transferred him to the buggy, instead clinging to Morgana as though his life depended on it as they made their way up to the postnatal and maternity ward. Merlin buzzed and stated “Mithian Nemeth-Hunter”, they were quickly let in and made their way to the ward. Mithian’s bed was near the window, she sat propped up holding a newborn in her arms. 

“Oh my gosh! She’s adorable!” Morgana gushed. 

“Congrats mate” Merlin smiled as he patted Leon on the back. 

“How was it?” Morgana asked. 

“Pretty painful but wonderful” Mithian winced. “I had her at six in the morning, morphine and gas and air. Used the birthing centre so had a pool and whatnot, couldn’t have the epidural”.

“I’ve been looking into the birth centre too but I’m under Avalon instead” Morgana said. 

“It’s so good” Mithian agreed. “I’d go for it”.

“She’s gorgeous” Morgana smiled. “Amhar look, there’s a baby”.

“No” Amhar said as he rubbed his eyes and rested his head on Morgana’s shoulder. “My mummy”.

“Oh dear” Mithian laughed. “Someone’s already jealous”.

“Have you told him yet?” Leon asked. “Sorry, I should let you sit down”.

“Thank you” Morgana smiled gratefully as she sat down with Amhar. “Not yet”.

“We’re waiting till twenty weeks” Merlin explained. “Seeing as he’s still a baby himself”.

“He is” Mithian agreed with a smile. “Do you want to hold her?”.

“Yes please” Morgana smiled. She went over to the bottle of hand sanitiser and rubbed it in, Merlin prying Amhar off her. Morgana gently cradled the newborn in her arms, supporting her head and smiling at her. “Hi sweetie” she cooed. “Have you named her yet?”.

Mithian and Leon glanced at each other before Leon spoke. “Athena Matilda Hunter”.

“That’s lovely” Merlin smiled. 

“Is Amhar getting a younger brother or a sister?” Mithian asked. 

“Brother” Morgana replied. 

* * *

_19th February 2020_

Having Hunith and Balinor around was rather nice for Merlin and Morgana. They wouldn’t have to get up early with the baby, and Merlin could go to antenatal appointments with Morgana provided that they were during half term, after school or during the school holidays while they watched Amhar. Dylan was busy with university, they hadn’t made up with Morgause completely yet, Mithian had a new baby, Sefa was often busy yet happy to babysit on the odd occasion, so they didn’t want to have their friends babysit and instead left Merlin in the car with Amhar if they had to take him in. The coronavirus statistics around the world were slightly worrying, yet given that they were lower than the amount of people unwell from flu, most people in England weren’t too worried. Yet it was still a rather new virus, so while obviously there were concerns for some, others were simply baffled on how eating a bat could cause all _this_. 

Merlin and Morgana were at Avalon city hospital once more in the antenatal outpatients. Usually they’d be excited to be there, yet this time were rather nervous given that they would be seeing a consultant. 

“Morgana Emrys please” the doctor said. He was a rather tall guy, bald and dark skinned, reminding Merlin of Kingsley Shacklebolt from Harry Potter. 

“I’m Dr Aglain, antenatal and neonatology consultant” he greeted. “So to start off, we’ll need to take your height, weight and blood pressure then get to things”.

Around ten minutes later everything was done and they sat in his room. “I don’t think that there’s anything to worry about, although we’ll look again after the twenty week scan and see where we can go from there. As of now, I think everything’s OK but I am erring on the side of caution because of the HG”.


	14. Chapter 14

  
**I had a dream so big and loud I jumped so high I touched the clouds. I stretched my hands up to the sky, we danced with monsters through the night. I’m never gonna look back, woah I’m never gonna give it up now, please don’t wake me now**

_29th February 2020_

The first week back had been rather stressful. The beginning of art and textiles was due to start in two weeks, followed by food tech before Easter sometime. To say many pupils were stressed out about it was a bit of an understatement, even though the core subjects weren’t being taken until May. Morgana had moved into maternity clothes for the majority of the time, given that she had somehow grown a bump overnight since her consultant appointment. It wasn’t the _most_ noticeable and Morgana could only notice it in the mirror, yet she did feel as though she was outgrowing her clothes and ended up ordering £300 worth of maternity clothes from Serpahine. The conservatory was packed full of the many things they had bought for their son—Bugaboo Cameleon 3plus (that Morgana had been adamant she’d wanted since baby shopping with Gwen), a second hand mountain buggy duet with carrycot plus, Chicco Next2me, grey wicker Moses pod, Cybex Cloud z and the matching based. Alongside that they had things from Amhar that he didn’t use anymore—the bath support, steriliser, Joie travel cot and maxi Cosi baby car seat they used when they first took Amhar home. 

“Amhar, come here” Merlin said as they set up the double buggy, one forward facing seat and a parent facing carrycot. “Look, you can sit here, and then the baby can sit there”.

“Why?” Amhar asked. He tilted his head and turned around as best he could while being strapped in. He was looking rather like Baby Yoda. 

“Because Amhar” Morgana picked him up and took him on her hip. “Mummy is going to have a baby”.

“Baby?” Amhar said and put his hand on Morgana’s face. 

“There’s a baby in mummy’s tummy” Merlin explained. 

“Where?” Amhar asked. 

“In Mama’s tummy” Morgana said. She took his hand and put it on her bump. “Look, there is the baby”.

“Why?” Amhar asked. 

“That’s where the baby grows, then one day it’ll be born and you’ll have a little brother”.

“Yeah” Amhar said as Morgana put him back in the buggy. 

“That seat’s for you, and that seat is for the baby, peanut” Merlin said. 

“Pea-Butt” Amhar giggled. 

“The baby” Morgana repeated. 

“Baba” Amhar settled on. 

“Oh” Morgana gasped as she gripped the buggy handle and bent down. 

“Are you okay?” Merlin asked immediately at his wife’s side. 

“I ... I think I felt something move in my stomach”.

“The baby moved” Merlin gasped. 

“He did” Morgana smiled. “Okay, let’s go get our photo done by the cot”. Every day, in front of the empty cot, Merlin would take a photo of Morgana with her top held up to show of the bump and down. This was one of the first times that the bump was visible with the top down. 

* * *

_3rd March 2020_

The beginning of March brought the beginning of spring, yet _not_ warmer weather with it at all. Typical for England and walked, it was raining like mad and absolutely freezing. The coronavirus was beginning to get worrying as of late, with forty people having tested positive in England. While at first, not many people were worried about it, it was becoming increasingly worrying as many countries across the world had higher rates more and more. The ski trip to Italy was cancelled weeks prior much to Freya and Alavrr’s displeasure which they loudly voiced. As a result, most people were told to avoid hospitals as much as possible yet there were just some things that couldn’t be done over the phone—the twenty week scan. 

They were rather nervous about it, having not necessarily had the best news in the pregnancy so far or in general. Just like with Gwen’s pregnancy with Amhar, everything was going perfectly fine only for him to be diagnosed with CDH and need surgery. The twelve week screening test had come back clear, they’d had good news from the consultant that they’d only need a few extra scans, and coronavirus was getting rather worrying. 

“Any idea what the hell is going on with the world?” Morgana asked as she lay down on the couch and pulled her trousers down, lifting her top up. 

“We know as much as you do” the sonographer smiled sympathetically. 

“So not much then” Merlin asked. 

“Not really. Now, let’s see baby”.

“Also, my first one had a diaphragmatic hernia so I’m rather worried about that”.

“I thought this was your first baby?”.

“Biological” Morgana corrected. “We have an eighteen month old and he had it at birth”.

“I’m sorry about that. Luckily it’s a very unlikely condition. Would you like to find out the sex?”.

“We’ve been told it’s a boy, it is isn’t it?” Merlin said. 

“Yes, it’s definitely a little boy” the sonographer said. The baby was perfectly OK, right on track for his dates and growing well. There was nothing to worry about, for now. 

* * *

_16th March 2020_

The exams for art, textiles, food tech and drama had officially started. After work and picking up Amhar from nursery, the small family went to Tesco to do their weekly shop. There had been rumours about people stockpiling so while usually they’d wait until the weekend or get it delivered, instead they opted to go out to the shops themselves. As they walked in, Merlin pushing the trolley, Merlin and Morgana were rather surprised to find it not as busy as they expected. 

“What’s on the list?” Merlin asked. 

“Let’s see: baby wipes, nappies size five, baby milk, blue milk for us, I want to get some vitamins for Amhar if I can find some. Soap, hand gel, Dettol, squash, pasta, cheese, doughnuts, toilet roll, vegetables and fruit”.

“I hope no one panic buying has made sure there’s nothing left” Merlin grimaced. The first part—getting the vegetables and fruit, followed by milk and cheese was easy enough. 

They stood in the pasta aisle glancing at the empty shelves. 

“At least we can have lasagne?” Morgana offered uncertainly as she threw it in the trolley. 

“I guess so” Merlin agreed. Amhar took one look at the shelves and began giggling. 

“If only you knew the reality kiddo” Morgana sighed. 

“So pasta comes from Italy” Merlin said. 

“Well done” Morgana rolled her eyes. 

“Italy is in lockdown”.

“Well done again Merlin”.

“Therefore ... they aren’t making pasta because of lockdown”.

“No Merlin, some people are selfish fuckers who are panic buying. I think we should get some flour and yeast seeing as there’s no bread left”. Once more, empty shelves. 

“Do you think we’ll get any toilet roll?” Merlin asked. 

“I bloody hope so” Morgana sighed. “Run ahead, see if you can get some. I know that we have a pack at home already ... but still. I’m pregnant, you have ibs. We _can’t_ go without toilet roll”.

“Thanks for saying that in public” Merlin muttered. He ran ahead and Morgana caught up to the bare naked aisle. Nothing but crates and empty shells. 

“Fuck” Morgana said. 

“Fuck indeed” Merlin agreed. They had miraculously managed to get two packs on their last shop at the start of March, yet it was starting to run out. 

“At least we have toilet roll at work” Morgana shrugged. 

“Now _that_ running out would be a disaster” Merlin agreed. “Soap?”.

“We’ve got plenty but won’t hurt to check”. No soap left, except a few bars. 

“Maybe not then” Merlin nervously laughed. 

“Oh dear” Morgana shook her head. “One of the students had some hand gel in the exam. It was in a clear bottle so it was allowed”.

“That’s brilliant” Merlin chuckled. “Hand gel in the exams. Oh boy, this coronavirus is slightly out of control”.

“Calpol” Morgana said pushing the trolley. Again, empty shelves. “Oh fuck, no Calpol”.

“Let’s hope there’s nappies and baby wipes at least” Merlin grimaced. 

There was a couple of packs of baby wipes, yet a limit of two on everything. 

“So, no size five” Morgana drawled. “What do we do?”.

“There must be some somewhere” Merlin began to rummage through the nappies. “If not ... well, he won’t fit newborn”.

“So toddler size it is then” Morgana arched an eyebrow. 

“Right ... they have size six, could try that?” Merlin sighed. 

“Better than nothing” Morgana muttered. “Let me..ahah! Found them”.

“Thank god, we’ve got nappies”.

“Last pack and it’s only twenty .... oh boy, this is going to be fun” Morgana grimaced. They went towards the checkout and joined the queue, unloading the shipping onto the conveyer belt. They noticed that the couple in front of them had a lot of boxes of condoms. 

“There’s rumours of a lockdown” one of them shrugged. “We’re _not_ going to be bored”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone else remember how there was no toilet roll, tin cans or pasta at the shops? We were lucky but so many people in my school ran out of toilet roll and kept talking about how they’d cope without it. I also saw someone stockpiling those bottled water


	15. Chapter 15

  
**Here’s to the ones that we’ve got. Cheers to the wish you were here, but you’re not. Cause the drinks bring back all the memories, of everything we’ve been through. Toast to the ones here today. Toast to the ones that we lost on the way cause the drinks bring back all the memories, and the memories bring back, memories bring back you**

_18th March 2020_

After shopping on Monday, Merlin and Morgana headed straight home. They decided to leave work straight away so that they could get home in time for Boris Johnson’s five o’clock announcement. As they walked into the house, it was time for the announcement so they dropped all their bags in the hallway and went to the tv, keeping their shoes on. They tended to keep their shoes off on the house, yet _needed_ to know the latest update. Amhar was likely to get really ill if he got the virus, being vulnerable due to his underdeveloped lungs. There were three messages taken away from the meeting: get tested if you had symptoms, work from home if possible, avoid social contact if you’re over 70, pregnant, and those with health conditions, alongside avoiding all social contact with others for twelve weeks. While it wasn’t official until the next week, Merlin and Morgana took the difficult decision into their hands and decided that they would stay at home as much as possible for the next three months. 

Schools being mass gathering areas were likely to be closed and move onto online learning for the foreseeable future. Many had been protesting about the schools remaining open and kept their kids off anyway, given that it was a rather strange and uncertain time. Yet once more, Merlin and Morgana awaited Boris Johnson’s latest announcement. Staying home all of the time was not at all anything they expected, bonding nicely with Amhar and the lack of stress. Nimeuh had emailed them to say to not worry, that they’d be looking into an online learning system as it was looking likely. According to Morgause, Will and Sefa, the majority of the pupils were staying off, and the once crowded and loud dining hall was now almost empty and quiet. 

“I reckon the schools will close” Morgana said. “For a short while at least”.

“I think so too” Merlin agreed. “He said ‘no large social gatherings’ well...that is _essentially_ what school _is_ ”. 

“Looking at the curve of the disease, looking at where we are now. We think now that we must apply downward pressure, further downward pressure on that upward curve by closing the schools” Boris said. 

“Well that was inevitable” Morgana leant on Merlin. 

“After school shut their gates on Friday afternoon, they will remain closed for most pupils, the vast majority of pupils until further notice”.

“Do you think we’ll go back this year then?” Merlin asked. “I _think_ it’s unlikely”.

“And this does mean that exams will not take place as planned in May and June” Boris added. 

“What the _fuck_!” Morgana shrieked. 

Merlin looked at the tv, mouth wide open. Amhar giggled and shook his head at seeing Merlin’s face. “Oh my god” Merlin whispered. 

Morgana cocked her head to the side to look at Merlin and raised her eyebrows. “He just _cancelled_ exams!”.

“Now what’s supposed to happen!” Merlin raised his hands in surrender. 

“I’m hungry, I need my lasagne” Morgana stood up and went to the kitchen. 

* * *

_19th March 2020_

Even though Merlin and Morgana were supposed to be shielding, they still woke up and went into the school. It wasn’t as though they themselves were vulnerable, although Morgana was advised to avoid social contact as she was pregnant, they could socially distance from others as much as possible. They’d have to take Amhar seeing as they didn’t want him in nursery, yet decided to putting him in the pushchair with the rain-cover on top so that he was in his own little ‘bubble’, as it wasn’t recommended for under three’s to wear a face mask, so it acted as a ‘shield’ in some way. Merlin drove and parked in his usual space before they made their way to the dining hall, making sure to stay away from all the others. 

“Thought you lot were shielding?”  
Morgause asked with a frown and a wriggle of her nose. While _apparently_ it was back to normal, it still looked rather misshapen. 

“What the hell is going on?” Morgana asked. “They cancelled the exams”.

“The fifth years are stressed” Morgause jerked her head in their direction. Everyone was awkwardly following each other around. “I mean, half of them don’t bloody get on. Now look at them!”.

“Okay, they’re moving and their head of section is going, let’s go” Merlin said as he followed them to the locker area. Everybody looked absolutely lost, quite a few of them looked like they were going to cry. 

“What the fuck is going on!” Harriet exclaimed. 

“Even we don’t know” Morgana sighed. 

“Aren’t you meant to be shielding?” Lucy asked. 

“Technically, he is” Morgana pointed at the buggy tucked away in the corner. “As long as he keeps his distance and whatnot...”.

“Interesting pram” Harriet raised an eyebrow. “The dinosaur’s eating him ...”.

“It was my choice” Merlin said triumphantly. 

“I want to cry” Harriet announced. 

“Me too” Morgana agreed. 

“Millie and I literally took half of one of the exams. Now it’s cancelled!” Harriet said. 

“I’m so pissed off” Lucy sighed. “What’s happening!”.

“Well ... this is a bit of a disaster” Merlin drawled. 

“Exams are cancelled because of a virus” Harriet shook her head. “Well ... i have been saying since like third year that I won’t take my exam”.

“So it’s your dream come true then” Morgana joked. 

“So basically I’m just going to make YouTube videos till I’m off to college” Millie decided. 

“I think you still have to work” Merlin said. “Oh look. I think the whole year is having a meeting in the hall”.

Merlin and Morgana stayed for the meeting before going home. Pupils were advised to keep on studying nonetheless, as they were unsure on how grades would work. For one of the first times, the mock exams were _actually_ important. While it may have been stressful for all of that to happen, at the same time in some way it was every teenagers dream come true. 

* * *

_20th March 2020_

Once more, Merlin and Morgana decided to break the fact that they were in shielding, Morgana driving into work this time. They didn’t even break it, as Boris’ announcements were rather confusing, with _apparently_ the official shielding not beginning until the Saturday (or Monday. It was rather confusing). Instead of going in during the morning, they opted to go in just after lunch. They stopped off at the sixth form centre to see their form groups, happy to take pictures with them as they wished and sign their shirts while many of them socially distanced cooed over Amhar. Even though she was on maternity leave, Mithian came in with newborn Athena in her egg pram, much to everyone’s delight as they saw the newborn, while some found that they loved the pram being rose gold some others found it _hilarious_ that it was an egg. Towards the end of the extended form period that they had on Fridays, after saying farewell to all the sixth form, Mithian, Merlin and Morgana with the babies made their way to the fifth form hub. 

“I can’t believe it’s the last day today” Harriet sighed. “Want to sign my shirt Miss?”.

“Of course” Morgana smiled as she signed Harriet’s shirt. “So what you doing next year?”.

“I’m going to Avalon college” Harriet said. 

“You’re leaving?” Morgana was rather shocked at that. 

“I am” Harriet nodded. “I’m _done_ with school to be honest”.

“I get you” Morgana agreed. “I’m not going to be here next year either”.

“I guessed” Harriet grinned. “Congratulations. When you due?”.

“July twenty-seventh” Morgana smiled as she caressed her bump. 

“I’m so happy for you” Harriet smiled. “So a little brother or sister for Amahr?”.

“Brother” Morgana replied. “We’ve got all the baby shopping done”.

“Prams and car seats _already_!”.

“Yeah” Morgana chuckled. “I mean, when I went baby shopping with Mrs Smith when she was pregnant with Amahr, I was in heaven. Pretty much been adamant on a Bugaboo Cameleon for years”.

“I don’t get the hype with the fox” Harriet agreed. “Not to mention, when I tried the ant it was more like a dolls pram”.

“I liked that it’s parent facing and can go on a plane ... if we’ll be allowed to do that again”.

“I bloody hope so” Harriet sighed. “We’re supposed to go to Disney world this summer, after I would’ve taken my exams. Now they’ve essentially cancelled everything, prom etcetera. I wasn’t even going to it but I’m still mad!”.

“I get what you mean” Morgana smiled sympathetically. “We can’t go to toddler groups with Amahr as he’s vulnerable”.

“If it’s alright for me to ask, why? I remember there was a lot of carnage happening when he was born and Mrs Smith was pregnant”.

“He had a hole in his diaphragm which meant that his organs went up into his chest cavity. He had to have surgery at one week old but he was out of hospital quite quickly”.

“That’s good” Harriet smiled. “Can’t imagine a newborn having to have surgery. It’s terrifying”.

“It is” Morgana agreed. “Well, this little one is doing rather good so far. The conservatory is full to the brim of baby stuff, I suppose we’ll have to do something with it all seeing as we’re working from home now”.

“Why have you got so much baby stuff in the conservatory” Harriet raised an eyebrow. 

“We’ve got the pram in the box, a double mountain buggy which is huge but actually fits through door unlike most side by sides, the bedside cot, two massive Cybex bases and the car seat”.

“Have fun assembling all that” Harriet grimaced. “ _Do not_ put the car seat in the car yourself. Get Mr Emrys to do it. I had to move Miles’ one, I was out of breath like mad”.

“Amhar’s one isn’t isofix and it is mad to move. But the new baby’s one swivels around and we can take it out the car so it looks rather good”.

“I love the Cybex cloud z” Harriet said. “Can we get a picture together miss?”.

“Of course” Morgana smiled. Harriet handed her phone to Mithian and then started talking to her, Morgana happily watching the students. It was absolutely freezing, only being March, after having their shirts signed many students going back to their blazers and coats. 

“This year has been absolutely crazy” Harriet said. 

“It sure has” Morgana agreed. “Mr and Mrs Pendragon dying, then Mr Emrys and I getting married”.

“That was a bit of a plot twist no one saw coming” Harriet chuckled. “Yet I did see the rings. Miss LeFay seems a tad pissed off”.

“Yeah, she’s like that I guess” Morgana shrugged. 

“That’s the sister life I guess, it’s the same with me and Scarlett” Harriet said. “Her claiming to have a boyfriend, I’m calling bull”. The bell rang. “Well, gotta get to class”.

“Good luck Harriet” Morgana said. “Hopefully we’ll be back but if not, all the best”.

“Thank you. You too” Harriet smiled. “Shit” she wiped at her eye and laughed. “My mascara isn’t waterproof, can’t cry. I’ve been waiting for this day for _years_ ”.

“I’m pregnant I’m hormonal” Morgana chuckled as the tears rolled down her face. 

“Miss, don’t cry!” Harriet exclaimed. She opened her arms and Morgana hugged her (there was no point denying it, teachers _did_ have favourites) student before they all went off to their next lesson. She and Merlin went back to the car with Mithian. 

“That was so emotional” Morgana cried. 

“Oh love” Merlin sighed. “It’s okay”.

  
“Well that was really unexpected. This whole palaver” Mithian said as she sat on Arthur and Gwen’s bench. 

“All this because of a virus” Morgana shook her head. 

“I know” Mithian agreed. “Well, I gotta feed the baby. I’ll wait till all the students are gone so I don’t have to use the cover”.

“How’s breastfeeding going?” Morgana asked. “We’ve had to switch Amhar over to cows milk as they had no formula in the shop”.

“It’s hard for the first few days” Mithian admitted as she latched Athena on. “But otherwise it is rather good. Nothing more peaceful than a sleeping baby”.

“You’re right” Morgana agreed. “Well, we should head back. It’s Amhar’s nap time”.

“Of course” Mithian smiled. “We’ll have to do a FaceTime call one day”

“Yeah” Morgana agreed. “Bye”.

“Bye” Amahr shrieked and waved at Mithian as they went to the car. Time to shield. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remember my school the day after we found out about cancellations, we were all running around like headless chickens! Quite a few of us had taken half our exams too so we were rather annoyed. Suffice to say yes I cried while writing this because it was similar to my leaving school experience (plus the leaving school video I made has the same song I used at the start ... so yeah)


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last outing before lockdown!

  
**Can’t say how the days will unfold. Can’t say what the future may hold. But I want you in it, every hour, every minute. This world can race by far too fast. Hard to see when it’s all flying past. But it’s clear now, when you’re standing here now. I am meant to be, wherever you are next to me. All I wanna do is come running home to you. Come running home to you. And all my life I promise to keep running home to you, keep running home to you**

_21st March 2020_

After arriving home after going to the school, Merlin and Morgana’s credit cards had taken a huge hit given that they needed a new desk as they’d be working from home for the foreseeable future. While the nursery fees were reduced to half price during their closure, they couldn’t send Amhar in so would have to alternate childcare and balancing lessons. 

“I reckon we ought to do something” Merlin decided as he shovelled his cereal into his mouth. 

“I think so too” Morgana agreed. “I know we’re shielding and all ... but apparently we’re going into lockdown. So it’d be good to leave the house”.

“The weather’s nice today” Merlin commented. “Why don’t we head to Severn beach?”.

“Okay, sure” Morgana agreed. “Let’s take the new pram. I’ve gone off the dinosaur one”.

“Why?” Merlin asked. It did make sense, she’d refused to be seen with it in public as of late. 

“It makes me feel sick” Morgana shrugged. 

“Makes you feel sick?” Merlin tilted his head. 

“I threw up in the bushes yesterday while everyone was watching! I was so lucky that most of the kids were already at form or too busy running around like headless chickens” Morgana exclaimed. “We need to get rid of it”.

“We’re not getting rid of the baby!” Merlin gasped. 

“The pram you buffoon” Merlin snapped. 

“Or we could just give it to Dylan” Merlin shrugged. “For whenever he wants to babysit. We only bought it six months ago. Keep it as a spare for holidays”.

“Okay, as long as I don’t have to see it” Morgana decided. “Now, to make the double buggy into a single”.

“There seems to be a side basket” Merlin said as they looked at the pram and wondered what to do. 

“So if I take the carrycot off ... then we can put the side basket on?” Morgana asked. 

“Seems simple enough. Now, how did that person get the carrycot off”.

“Push the side parts in ... then lift it off” Morgana tried doing so. “Now put the basket on”. 

“That was easy enough” Merlin shrugged as he pushed it through the house to the front. “Let’s get it in the car and go”. They parked up in their usual place and strapped Amhar in before going down to the beach, gliding over the cobblestones and sand instead of having to awkwardly lift the buggy over the stones and then try to push it only for it to get stuck. The breeze blew, the air smelling of salt as they walked down the beach. Amhar loved watching it all, the seagulls awkwardly flying around. There weren’t many people, it was rather like a death town—as the school had been all week, yet it was nice to have it quiet and peaceful. 

Not long after walking, they sat down on some stairs and let Amhar toddle around happily babbling to himself, allowing themselves to enjoy their freedom before they become cooped up in the house for the next twelve weeks. 

“Look at him!” Morgana smiled as Amhar toddled around. “Why are you so cute?!” She asked as she lifted him in the air and gently threw him up. Amhar giggled as he was thrown in thr air, yet soon tired of being carried and wanted to walk everywhere instead at his slow pace, as toddlers tended to do. Morgana sat with Merlin, watching as Amhar chased the seagulls and enjoyed himself. 

“Shame it’s too cold”. Merlin and Morgana turned around—Lancelot stood there. 

“Oh wow” Merlin commented. “It’s been a while”.

“It sure has” Lancelot agreed. 

“So where you been then?” Morgana asked. 

“I joined the army. Then all the world war three stuff hit and I went over to China”.

“How was it?” Morgana asked. 

“Pretty cool to be fair” Lancelot shrugged. “But obviously I got sent back”.

“COVID-19?” Merlin asked. 

“Yup” Lancelot said, popping the p. “Since when did you two have a kid? I see congratulations are in order, when you due?”.

“Thank you” Morgana smiled. “End of July”.

“When’d you have the older one, I don’t remember you being pregnant”.

“We adopted him” Merlin said. 

“Ah” Lancelot blinked. “What’s his name?”.

“Amhar. 18 months old. Arthur and Gwen’s biological child”.

“You adopted your nephew? What even happened there?”.

“They died” Morgana said solemnly. 

“Oh shit” Lancelot gasped. “Oh shit, I’m. I’m so sorry to hear about that”.

“That’s okay” Merlin sighed. “I mean, it’s been difficult but things are settling down”.

“Then well, coronavirus” Lancelot grinned. “I’m going to head off. It was good to see you”.

“You too” Morgana smiled. She looked ahead for Amhar. He was sat on the floor playing with the sand. 

“Not in your mouth sweetie” Merlin groaned as Amhar ate another mouthful of sand. 

“Yuck!” Amhar declared and spat it out. 

“Yes, of course it’s yucky” Morgana rolled her eyes. “It _isn’t_ food!”.

Amhar pouted. “Yeah mummy”.

They walked along the shore seeing as Amhar was rather amused by the waves, keeping hold of his tiny hands. As a wave crashed onto the sand, Amhar let go of Morgana’s hand and ran straight into the wave. 

“Woah, little man” Morgana said as she picked him up and held him at a distance. 

“Oh dear” Merlin laughed as Morgana passed a giggling Amhar to him. “Someone’s a bit wet aren’t they?”.

Amhar looked at Morgana, stuck his bottom lip out and started wailing. 

“Oh sweetie it’s okay” Morgana chuckled. “You know what, run ahead and change him in the loos. I’ll collapse this and get the car warmed up”.

“Okay, see you soon” Merlin and Morgana kissed, Merlin took the baby bag and ran to the toilets with a crying Amhar while Morgana went to the car, putting the engine on to warm it up and having several attempts at removing the side basket before managing to easily collapse it, attempting to lift the unwieldy buggy into the boot. After several huffs and puffs and feeling as though she was about to collapse, the buggy was finally in the boot fitting somewhat well with space for other things. Merlin returned soon with Amhar and they began the drive back to Monmouth. 

“The fuck is there a car out there for?” Morgana asked with a frown as they pulled up outside their house. 

“Dunno, don’t care” Merlin huffed as he took the buggy out the boot while Morgana took sleeping Amhar. Whomever sat there in the car emerged as Merlin and Morgana went into the house. Merlin put the buggy in then waited outside to see who the fuck was stalking them. 

“Elyan?” Merlin tilted his head as he saw Gwen’s sister. “Weren’t you in Thailand or whatever?”.

“I was” Elyan said. “Yet with this coronavirus pandemic thing on, I had to come back. Isolated in a hotel for two weeks, tested negative and no where to go”.

“Come on in then” Merlin sighed. 

“What’s he doing here?” Morgana asked as she sat down on the sofa with a wince and grabbed her pregnancy pillow. 

“I don’t have anywhere to go...” Elyan said. “Is it okay if I could stay with you?”.

“We’re shielding...” Merlin drawled. 

“Congratulations” Elyan said. “I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go, you guys are basically the only family I have left..”.

“We could be quarantined for months!” Morgana protested. “We don’t have a spare bedroom, we’ve got a baby, I’m pregnant”.

“Hang on, I have an idea” Merlin said. He phoned Gwaine and explained the situation to him, both Elyan and Gwaine happily agreeing before Gwaine picked him up and took him back to his own place. 

* * *

_22nd March 2020_

Mother’s Day had rolled around _at last_. Unlike most Mother’s Day, this one was rather special for Morgana. Usually she’d spend the time with Morgause or Arthur and Gwen, given that everyone else had mother’s that they’d be spending time with, yet they weren’t supposed to mix with other households so spent the day in the house. That and it was her first.

Morgana rolled over in bed, clutching her pregnancy pillow. She knew Merlin had already woken up, seeing the other side of the bed empty. Yet pregnancy was rather tiring, so she rolled over in bed once more and put her head under her pillow, resting her eyes. The next time she woke up, she heard Amhar babbling and Merlin saying “Happy Mother’s Day”. She opened her eyes to Merlin bringing her her favourite cereal, a bunch of roses on the tray alongside a cup of ginger tea. 

“Aww, thank you” Morgana smiled. She leant out of bed to kiss Merlin and he put the tray on the side. 

“Happy mama pay!” Amhar said, planting a rather sloppy kiss on Morgana’s lips. 

“Thank you baby” Morgana scowled before smiling, the baby planting kisses all over her face. 

“Well, why don’t you have breakfast? Then we can head down and you can open your presents”.

“That sounds good” Morgana smirked as she sipped at her tea. Amhar happily gave morgana her presents as he babbled away to himself, two cards and five presents. A card saying “Happy First Mother’s Day” from Amhar, and another one saying “I love you so much from inside your tummy, I can’t wait to meet you and call you my Mummy. Happy Mother’s Day, love from the bump”.

“Merlin!” Morgana gasped with tears in her eyes as she saw her card. “That is _a lot_ ”.

“I know” Merlin smirked. “Happy first Mother’s Day”.

“Here’s to many more” Morgana smiled resting her hand on her bump. “He’s kicking, feel”.

“He’s strong” Merlin commented. 

“He is” Morgana agreed. “Talk to him”.

“Hi, uh ... peanut” Merlin said. “I’m your daddy. I can’t wait to meet you”.

  
“Aww, he’s moving more” Morgana smiled. “Amhar, come here, look” Morgana put Amhar’s tiny hand on her stomach. 

“What that?” Amhar asked. 

“That’s your baby brother, he’s kicking”. 

“Yeah” Amhar said. 

“Okay, let’s open your presents then” Merlin smiled. Morgana smiled and opened her presents; Merlin had certainly splashed out buying her a maternity lounge set, jumpsuit, some fancy pyjamas, lingerie and a pregnancy pamper kit. 

“We’re going to have a good time tonight” Morgana winked after she opened her lingerie. “Thank you my love”.

“You’re most welcome” Merlin smiled in response. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg I woke up and there is so much snow! I almost overslept too but I’m so happy there’s snow! Lockdown 1.0 was boring but this one (3.0) has been utterly shite


	17. Chapter 17

**I, I’m a one way motorway. I’m the one that drives away, then follows you back home. And I, I’m a streetlight shining. I’m a wild light blinding bright burning off alone. It’s times like these we learn to live again. It’s times like these we give and give again. It’s times like these you learn to love again. It’s times like these, time and time again**

_23rd March 2020_

Despite it being the last week of term, Merlin and Morgana still had to phone in to the school while juggling Amhar, given that all schools were now online. They were all told to set work the week before to last until the Easter holidays, as the school began to load up the system and figure out how to do the virtual lessons. They were still waiting for their second desk to arrive from IKEA, given that they had one in the living room and neither wanted to work on the kitchen table, opting to use the conservatory as a sort of “office” and move the baby stuff elsewhere. 

“This is so strange” Merlin commented. “Working from home. Due to a virus”.

“What was happening this time last year” Morgana mused. 

“You were with Alvarr, Gwen and Arthur had issues, Amhar was tiny”.

“We still hated each other like mad and now we’re married” Morgana grinned. “Well...ought to log in then I suppose?”.

“I guess so” Merlin sighed. Not that they had to do much for the day. That Monday’s assembly had been pre-recorded, so instead of having to do that much work Merlin and Morgana were able to spend the time with their son. During Amhar’s nap, an (admittedly not) unexpected argument occurred—building the desk from IKEA seeing as it’d arrived earlier that morning. 

“Merlin there’s no space in the conservatory!” Morgana exclaimed. “We can’t put the desk there, there _isn’t any space!”._

“I know that” Merlin rolled his eyes. “Well _where_ are we supposed to put the other stuff!”.

“Car seat _can’t_ go in the car” Morgana said. 

“Why not?” Merlin asked. “It’ll save space that way. Less boxes around the house”.

“Because I said not!” Morgana exclaimed. 

“So you’d rather have a shit tonne of boxes around the house then?” Merlin retorted. 

“Yes Merlin, I would!” Morgana exclaimed. She turned away from her husband, covering her mouth and whimpering, trying to not make her sobs wrack her body. 

“Oh shit” Merlin muttered under his breath. “Morgana, what’s the matter? It’s okay, we won’t put the car seat in the car after all. Just tell me what’s wrong”.

“I ... I don’t want ...” Morgana hiccuped. “To put .... the .... car .... seat .... in the car .... in ... case ... we have ... a crash”.

“Oh sweetheart” Merlin sighed. “Why did you tell me?”.

“We ... barely ... leave ... the ... house ... but ... it ... could ... still ... _happen_ ”.

“You’re right, love” Merlin agreed as he kissed her temple and grabbed some tissues. “It could. A car could crash into us and there’s still months before baby gets here. That’s okay”.

“Thank ... you ... Merlin” Morgana hiccuped still as she rubbed at her eyes. “I don’t know why I’m like this, it’s just”.

“Morgana, we’re in the middle of a global pandemic” Merlin said gently. “Arthur and Gwen died because of a car crash. It makes perfect sense, okay?”.

“Okay” Morgana agreed and blew her nose. “Well how are we going to make sure that there’s enough space?”.

“Look, we can put the double buggy in the car, keep the ugly dinosaur pram in the cupboard under the stairs, leave the pram box next to the pantry and near the downstairs loo. We can put the next2me in our room. It’s okay, we’ll figure it out”.

“I’m just so tired and hormonal” Morgana sighed. “You wore me out last night”.

“I know I did” Merlin smirked. 

“I’m gunna take a nap” Morgana decided. 

“That sounds like a good idea” Merlin smiled. “I’ll sort everything out, then we can build the desk”. While Morgana napped, Merlin was rather productive, having moved the double buggy into the car, kept the car seat boxes behind the sofa, moved the Next2me into the nursery, and kept the pram in the conservatory. He’d managed to move the new desk box into the conservatory and began unpacking it when there was babbling over the baby monitor, so Merlin went to get Amhar. Amhar was enjoying himself, bouncing up and down in his cot even though he was wearing a sleeping bag, happily giggling and managing to get himself _rather_ high. 

“Woah woah kiddo” Merlin chuckled. “Shhh. Mummy’s sleeping”.

“Shh” Amhar grinned and put a finger to his lip. He jumped up once more, his arms in the air and would’ve dived straight out of his cot, had Merlin not been there to catch him. 

“No” Merlin said firmly. “Naughty”.

Amhar cried while Merlin took him out, changed his nappy and then went downstairs. He sat down at his desk, Amhar scowling at Merlin while he held him on his lap and replied to his emails. Morgana came down the stairs stretching and rubbing her eyes half an hour later. 

“You sleep well?” Merlin asked. 

“Yeah” Morgana nodded. “We’ve only been in quarantine for a few days ... let’s see how long this lasts”.

“Well with the new stats I think schools will probably be closed for a while” Merlin grimaced. 

“I think so too” Morgana agreed. “We need to build the desk”.

“Let’s get on with it” Merlin said. Amhar was put in the highchair which he wasn’t _at all_ happy about, whinging the whole time he was sat in there. Not that it lasted long. 

Soon after, the workday had ended and it was time for yet another announcement. This time, it was announced that the UK was going into a national lockdown. 

* * *

_26th March 2020_

Virtual learning was proving to be rather good. They were still setting up the online lessons and would commence those after the Easter holidays, so for now what the teachers had to do was submit work, mark it, make sure the children had gotten the work and check in with their classes via the online homework platform they used. While Amhar still needed his parents full attention, sometimes he was able to play independently allowing Merlin and Morgana to reply to some emails. 

Amhar toddled over to the book box they kept in the corner. He took out his new favourite book that had been bought for him a few weeks prior—“There’s a house inside my mummy”, Amhar was currently _obsessed_ with the book and regularly would hug and kiss Morgana’s bump. 

“Pwease?” Amhar asked as he tilted his head to the side. He looked rather like baby Yoda, Disney+ had _finally_ landed in the UK just in time for lockdown, and Merlin and Morgana had already binge watched and almost finished the Mandalorian. 

“Gimme two seconds baby” Morgana said as she finished typing up her email and hit send. “You want the book again?”.

“Yeah!” Amhar cheered. 

“Okay, we can have the book” Morgana chuckled. She pulled Amhar next to her on the sofa, Merlin put his laptop down after finishing whatever he was doing and joined in reading with Morgana. 

“There’s a house inside my mummy, where my little sister grows, or maybe my little brother, no one really knows”.

“Baby bwah ber” Amhar said. 

“That’s right, you’ve got a baby brother” Merlin smiled. “My daddy said that I lived there when I was being made, but I don’t remember much about it I’m afraid”.

“Yeah” Amhar said as he turned the page. 

“He always like to tell me” Merlin continued. “It’s a lovely place to be. He knows because he’s seen it on the hospital tv!”.

Amhar jumped down from the sofa and toddled over to the tv stand. They had the photos from the eight, twelve, sixteen and twenty week scan there, Amhar grabbed one of them and brought it to show his parents. 

“Yeah, that’s the baby” Morgana smiled. “It’s very warm and cosy, but because there’s not a bed. There’s a sort of giant bathtub where the baby sleeps instead”.

“Yeah” Amhar agreed. 

“He needs to have a lot of room to help him grow and play. And that’s why mummy’s tummy house gets bigger everyday”.

“Baby house” Amhar said as he hugged Morgana’s stomach and kissed it. 

“Yeah, he’s kicking” Morgana smiled. Amhar’s face lit up and broke into a grin. 

“Baby kicked me!” He said. 

“Yeah, he kicked you” Merlin smiled and kissed his forehead. “It’s got to have a kitchen so it doesn’t get too thin. And i think the food my mummy eats, finds its way to him. He seems to want funny things, but Mummy’s very kind, so eats all kinds of crazy stuff and doesn’t seem to mind”.

“I try to help look after her and see she gets some rest” Morgana continued. “Often she falls fast asleep before she’s even undressed!”.

“Sometimes mummy feels so sick I don’t know what to do, but if I had a house in me I’d feel quite poorly too!” Merlin gasped. “I wish the house had windows, so I could see inside, I couldn’t find I single one no matter how hard I tried!”.

Morgana smirked. “Hm, sure”.

“Morgana!” Merlin chuckled somewhat gobsmacked, yet at the same time not. The pregnancy had made her _extremely_ horny, they’d had sex every day since the school’s closed. “I’d like to show him all my toys and let him see the view, and point out all the brilliant things I’ll teach him how to do”. Amhar grabbed his bunny and bat and placed them on top of the bump. 

“Why is he so sweet” Morgana cried. 

“Mummy sad!” Amhar gasped. 

“No sweetie, Mummy isn’t sad” Morgana wiped her tears. “Mummy’s happy”.

“Goof” Amhar smiled. 

“Sometimes mummy and I like to cuddle on our own, and I tell him that I love him through the tummy telephone”.

“I wove oooooo” Amhar said to the baby. 

“I’m sure that he can hear me and he likes the way I sound, cause we see him kick his little feet and summersault around” Morgana read

“I just can’t wait to meet him, I hope that he’s alright. My daddy says be patient as his door is very tight. It _certainly_ is” Merlin smirked. 

“Now who’s the crude one?” Morgana retorted. “At least I have the hormones excuse”.

“Touché” Merlin agreed. “And that’s the end”. The actual ending was with the baby brother, yet they decided not to do that part yet. 

“Babe, are you a vaccine?” Morgana asked. 

“What!” Merlin spat his tea out. “No? What?”.

“Cause I want you inside me, tonight” Morgana smirked. 

“Ahh, I get it” Merlin chuckled. 

One thing going around lately was to clap for the NHS every Thursday night at eight o’clock. Usually Amhar would go to bed at seven, sometimes half six, yet today Merlin and Morgana let him stay up late given that he was not in the mood to sleep and the times were strange. Just before eight, they stepped outside their door, Merlin carrying Amhar and began to clap. Many others on the street clapped too, soon beginning to bring out pots and pans too. 


	18. Chapter 18

  
**And the seasons, they go round and round, and the painted ponies go up and down. We’re captive on the carousel of time. We can’t return, we can only look behind from where we came, and go round and round and round in the circle game**

_10th April 2020_

The Easter holidays had begun, not that they were that relaxing. Both Merlin and Morgana were worried about everything with coronavirus, Amhar was thriving when he had all of Merlin and Morgana’s attention, babbling a lot yet quite a most of his words were rather coherent. He had taken a liking to the movie “The Good Dinosaur”, as well as cars, although his favourite thing to watch was Clangers, Merlin and Morgana’s least favourite thing so made sure to limit it as much as possible. Alongside this, Morgana insisted on joining in with the “baby club” (much like a baby group on the TV) every day with Amhar, which Merlin rather liked joining in with too even if it was slightly annoying. 

Morgana’s 26th birthday fell right in the middle of lockdown, with no view of it budging. Nowhere was open, the only outing allowed was to go to an “essential shop”, you weren’t allowed to go for a drive and going on the same walk day after day had begun to get boring after a while. With nice weather on the rise, Merlin and Morgana opted to buy a paddling pool, a tiny 3ft slide, a sand and water table and a toddler trampoline. They did want to get him a swing too, yet the garden was too small and was already looking slightly overwhelmed with all the toys out. Merlin had also bought some rather pricey gifts for Morgana’s birthday— a grey Stokke bag, a floating locket necklace and a _very_ expensive BBHugMe pillow. 

Merlin let Morgana sleep in again for her birthday, while he was glad that her nausea was subsiding it was still there, and they had a lot of sex which made her tired, alongside running after a toddler. When the morning came around, Merlin took Amhar, changed his nappy and filled his cow cup with milk before they went to the master bedroom. Morgana was already awake, going through her messages and the endless texts of happy birthday. 

“Happy birthday” Merlin greeted. 

“Happy birway!” Amhar squealed as Merlin lifted him onto the bed. 

“Aww, Merlin” Morgana smiled as he put the gift bags down. Amhar helped her rip the presents open, Merlin had used both gift bags and wrapping paper. 

“Oh my god Merlin!” Morgana gasped as she opened her bag. “This was exactly the bag I wanted, but it’s so _expensive_!”.

“Well, I bought it for you” Merlin smiled. “Happy birthday”.

“You know I needed another pregnancy pillow” Morgana grinned. 

“You can never have too many?” Merlin shrugged. 

“You can’t” Morgana agreed, then began to open the locket. 

“Merlin” tears sprung into Morgana’s eyes. 

“I’ve already added the sapphire for Amhar” Merlin said. “Then once baby’s here we can add his”.

“I love you” Morgana said as she kissed Merlin. “Thank you so much”.

“I’m glad you like it” Merlin smiled. “I hope you’ll like your next surprise”.

“A surprise!” Morgana gasped. 

“Cakey time!” Amhar shouted. 

“Amhar!” Merlin facepalmed. “It’s _supposed_ to be a surprise”.

“Amhar sowwy” Amhar offered. “Hug?”.

“It’s okay sweetie” Morgana chuckled as she hugged Amhar. “Let’s go downstairs and see what cake daddy made”. The cake was rather basic—pale pink with a rose gold 26 on the top, alongside Morgana’s name written in icing. Merlin and Amhar sang happy birthday and then Morgana cut the cake so that they could eat it for breakfast, not long after running back to the toilet again as she tended to do after a lot of meals. 

“I take it that means you liked it?” Merlin grinned as Morgana went straight back to eating her cake. 

“ _Duh_ ” Morgana raised her eyebrow. 

After lunch and getting changed, Merlin suggested going for a walk. It was unusually warm for April, as usually Morgana would still take her coat when leaving the house yet today morgana didn’t wear her hoodie and chucked it in the buggy, as did Merlin. 

“I think someone gets to use their paddling pool soon” Morgana commented. 

“That sounds good” Merlin agreed. “It’s _boiling_ ”.

“Hopefully my chocolate avocado’s won’t melt” Morgana winced. 

“I’m sure they’ll be fine” Merlin shrugged. “Let’s go then”. In front of the house, Merlin and Morgana had a large lawn, and tended to walk through it during their daily walks. Morgana noticed someone sat in the middle with a pram—the same rose gold one that Mithian had. 

“Is that Mithian!” Morgana exclaimed. 

“Surprise” Merlin offered. 

“Oh my god, yes! Human contact”.

“Hey” Merlin stuck his tongue out. They lay down their picnic blanket socially distanced and happily chatted away. 

“Baby” Amhar said as he pointed at Athena. 

“Yeah, she’s a baby” Leon smiled. 

“Mummy having baby” Amhar said, his eyes wide. 

“Really!” Mithian exclaimed. “Do you want it to be a brother or a sister?”.

Amhar looked tentatively at Athena for a moment. “Bwuvver”.

“He’s in luck then” Merlin smiled. 

“How’s lockdown been for you then?” Mithian asked. 

“Virtual teaching has been...interesting” Morgana sipped at her water. “I mean, we haven’t done live lessons yet, those are starting after the holidays. Everything else seems okay, kids are sending back the work well and all. How are you getting on?”.

“Well, this little madam here is rather nice and keeps mummy up at stupid hours” Mithian said. 

Morgana smiled sympathetically. “He was the same until he was one”.

“So we’ve been enjoying newborn cuddles a lot. Leon’s back at work now, virtually so he confines himself to one room. Then usually I stay in one room with Athena so that way I have the Moses basket around”.

“I’ve been slightly worried about that too” Morgana sighed. “We’re probably going to use the travel cot Arthur and Gwen used, then Merlin’s parents bought a Moses basket, so we plan to switch baby between each as needed. Not to mention the toddler so we have to bear that in mind”.

“Yeah, how’s he been coping?” Mithian asked. 

“I swear, if I have to hear those fucking clangers one more time” Morgana rolled her eyes. 

“You’ll what?” Mithian chuckled. 

Morgana pondered for a moment. “Cry”.

“You already did that” Merlin chuckled. “Last night”.

“I’m hormonal!” Morgana protested. 

“Well, lockdown birthday, how’s it been then?” Mithian commented. 

“Merlin made me a cake which we had for breakfast and then I threw up”.

“Morning sickness still going!” Mithian gasped. 

“Hyperemesis bloody sucks” Morgana rolled her eyes. “Gave me my presents, we had more cake and Amhar hasn’t requested his ridiculous children’s programme yet”.

“We’re dreading Athena getting older for that reason” Leon sighed. 

“It’s a nightmare” Merlin agreed. 

“Oh but in the night garden is good” Morgana said. 

“You cried at that last night...” Merlin drawled. 

“I cry at it _every_ time!” Morgana protested. “Poor iggle piggle hallucinating to death in his boat”.

“Poor iggle piggle” Mithian agreed. 

Back at home, Morgana and Merlin had made several zoom and FaceTime calls. Given that people weren’t allowed to meet-up, video calls were the next best thing. Morgause phoned and stayed for ages, the sisters slowly reconciling as they talked for a while, although avoided certain unsaid topics. Morgause had suggested several baby names which both Morgana and Merlin did not like _at all_ , making a mental note to avoid those names suggested by Morgause. 

They’d also had calls with Dylan, the twins and Kara and Mike. Amhar was happy to see everyone, especially his friend Noah. Even though they were only one so didn’t completely understand everything, they were happy to see one another for a little before going off to play, while Kara and Morgana talked about their pregnancies, Kara was having a girl and was due at the end of April. 

* * *

_12th April 2020_

Even though Amhar was only eighteen months old, he was old enough to know what chocolate was and that it was a treat, so Merlin and Morgana made sure to do an Easter egg hunt with him. They wouldn’t make it too hard, ‘hiding’ the eggs in plain sight for Amhar to find, and probably eat a most of it themselves. 

“We’re so old now” Morgana chuckled as Merlin changed Amhar’s nappy. “The ones organising the egg hunts instead of hunting the eggs”.

“We’re not old” Merlin scoffed. “We’re twenty-six”.

“Still, I feel old” Morgana shrugged. 

“Tell that to Morgause” Merlin chucked. 

“True, she’s ancient” Morgana agreed. 

“Sixty now?” Merlin asked. 

“Merlin!” Morgana gasped and slapped his arm. “She isn’t sixty”.

“Then _how old_ is she?”.

Morgana thought for a moment. “What’s twenty-six add eighteen?”.

“Forty-four” Merlin said. 

“That is old” Morgana decided. 

“If you say we’re old then that really is the case” Merlin remarked. “Shall we go find chocolate eggs?”.

“Yeah!” Amhar said as they went down the stairs and began to find the chocolate eggs. Amhar had a paw patrol one that came with a bowl and cup, Merlin had a darkmilk Cadbury’s egg while Morgana had a giant chocolate avocado. Amhar was now beginning to concentrate for longer periods of time, so after breakfast and getting changed Merlin and Morgana decided to make chocolate chip cookies with him. 

“I do that” Amhar insisted. Morgana mixed the butter and sugar together slightly before she put the bowl on the highchair tray, and gave Amhar the spoon to mix it. 

Amhar giggled and bashed the spoon around rather than mixing the mixture he seemed to get most of it onto himself or his highchair tray. 

“Oh dear” Morgana said. “Like this Amhar, see”. Merlin stayed down to roll out the cookies and put them in the oven while Morgana took Amhar for a bath, an occurrence that was beginning to happen twice a day seeing as he loved to get messy. 

“Merlin!” Morgana shouted. He’d just put the cookies in the oven and was beginning to tidy the kitchen. Morgana never tended to shout unless it was important (or she was extra hormonal).

“What’s up babe?” Merlin called. 

“The toilet is smoking!” Morgana screeched. 

“Shit” Merlin muttered and rushed up the stairs. While the year was a good year, he wouldn’t put it past it for something to go wrong, like the smoking toilet exploding “What’s the problem?”.

“Can’t you see, the toilet is smoking!” Morgana exclaimed. Merlin looked to the toilet. There were two unused toilet rolls on top, with an empty toilet paper tube wedged in the lid. 

“Very funny” Merlin grinned. 

“What?” Morgana grinned. “At least we haven’t had the whole town stormed by mountain goats”.

“Thank god we live in South Wales” Merlin muttered. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lockdown 1.0 was crazy haha, I was looking through YouTube to double check when something was announced and it came up with mountain goats going around Wales villages


	19. Chapter 19

  
**Trigger warnings - referenced self harm, alcoholism and miscarriage**

* * *

**This is what you wanted, right? At least that’s what I thought. And now I’m running in circles, trying, nothing’s ever enough. And everything is happening now, but I’m still having the hardest time, hardest time. When all you see is the tide, going in and out I’ve been between, the push and pull holding you down. You’re feeling tired, oh. It’s getting harder and harder. Keeping my head above water**

_29th April 2020_

After three weeks of nothing but relaxing and becoming ridiculously bored at home, it was time to return to online classes. While the holidays had been good, having nothing to do and nowhere to go had somewhat fucked up Melrin and Morgana’s sleep schedule, Morgana still had a ban on coffee in the house and looking after a toddler was tiring, so both Merlin and Morgana tended to nap a lot. Gwaine and Elyan had hooked up seeing as they were living together with a view of dating soon. Morgause still hadn’t been proposed to yet although she was becoming more accepting of the marriage. It had been almost one year since the accident. Eleven whole months. Eleven months ago, they would’ve laughed if anyone had told them that they’d be married with a baby on the way, that Arthur and Gwen were dead and that there’d be a global pandemic causing a lockdown. A year since Morgana was pregnant with Alvarr’s baby, a year since Arthur’s other children were revealed, a year since the accident. A lot could happen in a year and that was _definitely_ proved to be the case. 

Online classes were something that needed getting used to. While working at the school, they had to wake up ridiculously early to get ready, change, eat breakfast, drive to work and make sure Amhar was in nursery. Life during lockdown was much slower paced, no more rushing around in the morning trying to get to work before eight. Instead all they had to do was make sure that they were camera ready by 8:30am to start the day, and often they wouldn’t have virtual classes for that long unless one of the key year groups—fourth years and lower sixth. Fifth years and upper sixth were no longer a priority seeing as they didn’t have exams, yet they still had to carry on working to ensure that the teachers had evidence of their grade to submit. Third years and second years were difficult too, being rather stubborn yet reluctantly getting on with it and while first years were happy to work independently, they still required quite a lot of assistance and therefore rather full on lessons over teams. 

What would’ve been study leave for the fifth years was due to start within the next couple of weeks, so while Merlin was on baby duty Morgana decided to do a live class on teams. It was early in the morning and not compulsory, so while she was sure that a few of the students would turn up, she knew quite a few wouldn’t. Merlin was doing the childcare, so Morgana took her exercise ball into the conservatory-turned-classroom. She was getting rather annoyed with regular chairs and beginning to find them uncomfortable, so had bought the ball and decided it was the _best_ thing that she’d ever done.   
It was advised to avoid hospitals as much as possible, so Morgana had her 24 week appointment over the phone and was due to go in with the twenty-eight week. Which was worrying given that she’d have rather been checked in person given her miscarriage, even though she didn’t want to go near a hospital with the coronavirus situation. She knew that until the baby was born she’d be worried anyway. She was happily bouncing on the ball as she started the meeting and turned her cameras on, students beginning to enter the meeting. 

“Morning” Morgana greeted. So far four out of fifteen. Not too bad. Some of them mumbled morning back, the others waving instead and remaining on mute. “Hope everyone is doing well during these strange times. I’ll give everyone a few minutes and then start the lesson”. Only Harriet joined after that, Morgana was satisfied and began the lesson. 

“So today we’re going to focus on how our lives have changed during lockdown, and some arguments for and against the rules. I was thinking that we could go though the pros and cons that you’ve found during lockdown, and we can write a list of it which you can write up. Any suggestions?”.

Harriet was the first to raise her hand. “Spending time with family can be good, i know I’ve found that to be the case, and at the same time it is somewhat ad nauseam too”.

“Huh?” Morgana asked. 

“Spending time with your family constantly could become ad nauseam”. 

“Could you repeat the last part please?” Morgana said. 

“Ad nauseam” Harriet repeated. 

“What?” Morgana asked. 

“Ad nauseam” Harriet said again. 

“I don’t understand” Morgana sheepishly admitted. “Baby brain, I think there’s a mike problem too”.

Harriet chuckled and sighed before she unmuted herself again. “So like, it could happen to the point of sickening. Spending so much time with your family that you get sick of one another”.

“Ah” Morgana blinked. “That makes sense”. Once the call ended Morgana left the lesson crying much to a very confused Merlin and concerned Amhar. 

“Mummy, no sad” Amhar insisted as he hugged her leg. 

“What happened?” Merlin asked. 

“I got stumped by a sixteen year old, _that’s what happened_ ” Morgana sighed. 

Merlin sniggered slightly, stopping at the death glare that Morgana shot him. “What happened?”.

“Harriet used a word that I had no idea what it was. I had no idea what it meant, and” Morgana began sobbing. 

“It’s okay, these things happen” Merlin soothed while Amhar kept saying “mummy be happy”.

“Bastard hormones” Morgana chuckled as she began to wipe at her tears. “I just about managed to hold back on camera. Any other student and I would’ve cried _there and then_ ”.

“What was the word?” Merlin asked. 

“Ad nauseam” Morgana replied. 

“The frick?” Merlin raised an eyebrow. They tended to use their teacher friendly swear words in front of the children. “I’m telling you, that girl is _good_ at english”.

“I know” Morgana agreed. “Online classes were so good, too”.

“Until you were stumped by a sixteen year old” Merlin smirked. He braced himself for the inevitable slap coming his way. 

* * *

_7th May 2020_

Working from home was a rather different experience. The fifth years had just started what would’ve been their study leave, making all lessons optional so that they could easily transfer over to a-levels if they chose to. May began too, the weather was surprisingly nice so a lot of time was spent in the garden and Amhar could use his paddling pool. The start of May also brought around one thing that Merlin and Morgana had been highly dreading—the one year anniversary of the accident and Arthur and Gwen’s deaths. With the friday being a bank holiday instead of a Monday, the study leave day began on Thursday the seventh of May—anniversary day. 

They didn’t have any live lessons that day, a mixture of the fifth years leaving and the anniversary of the death meaning that there wasn’t that much work to do. All lessons were planned, and both Merlin and Morgana’s finished their marking the night before at stupidly late seeing as they couldn’t sleep. Merlin took Amhar down and got started on breakfast—cereal, while Morgana rushed to the toilet and came down when she began to feel better. 

“Morning” Merlin said with a sigh. 

“Morning” Morgana sighed as she sat down at the table. 

“One year. Today” Merlin remarked as he screwed the top on Amhar’s cow cup and handed him it. 

“I know” Morgana sighed as she began to drink her ginger tea. “It’s crazy how fast it’s gone”.

“More to the point, we’ve ended up in lockdown” Merlin chuckled. 

“I know” Morgana agreed. “If you told me a whole year ago today that, that I’d be with you, living here, pregnant, raising the kid”. 

“We wouldn’t believe it” Merlin agreed. “The thing is though, this time last year there was no hope. None at all. As for now”.

“Things are totally different. I was pregnant, Gwen had only just found out about Dylan and the twins. Then, then .... the car crashed”.

“Do you remember much about it? The crash” Merlin asked. 

“Somewhat” Morgana sighed. “I can remember they were arguing, I was trying not to throw up, Amhar was getting distressed. While on the expedition, I. I had a nightmare”.

“You did!” Merlin gasped. “What...what happened?”.

“I remember, lots of bangs, a crash of some sort. Fire”.

“So you, you...you knew” Merlin stammered. 

“I didn’t know, _Mer_ lin. How could I know!” Morgana exclaimed. 

“The dreams, they happened again. I just thought you would’ve said something, that’s all” 

“I didn’t know I was supposed to tell you fucking everything!” Morgana retorted. “Would you like to know the position of my cervix too? It’s posterior, so high and closed”.

“No, Morgana I” Merlin sighed. “I just _assumed_ that you would’ve mentioned it before, I guess”.

“Mentioned it before why?” Morgana snapped. “So that I could stop it somehow? Get my magic to work? Hire a car instead and not be there during the crash? Predicted that this shit would happen?”.

“No, Morgana, I” Merlin interrupted. “That’s not what I’m saying. You didn’t even know it was to be a car crash”. 

“Just fuck off” Morgana roared and stormed up to her room. Amhar took a long sip of milk and raised his hands in the air. 

“Uh oh” Amhar said. “Bad daddy”.

“Bad daddy indeed” Merlin agreed. 

Morgana gave Merlin the cold shoulder for quite a while. He left breakfast outside their bedroom which she took, otherwise staying in the room. Amhar was rather irritable and just after lunch, Merlin put him down for a nap and sat with Morgana at the table eating a cheese sandwich. 

Merlin opened his mouth to speech yet was shot a dirty look by his wife. “What is it, Merlin?”.

“Look, what I said about the dream, I shouldn’t have said it. It has been a hell of a year, and I remembered that you _did_ mention it”.

“I know” Morgana snapped. “You know what, Merlin? I was _finally_ beginning to live with it. Being able to accept what happened. Now it’s just, well it’s things like that that, you know”.

“Send you spiralling down the hole?” Merlin sighed as he gripped her hand. “Look, both of us have issues. We know that. My drinking, your self harm. We’ve come _so far_. This lockdown has been hard, there’s no denying it and I snapped. I’m sorry”.

“I know” Morgana bowed her head. “I know. That and the fact that I’m pregnant again doesn’t help. I mean obviously until I have the healthy baby here in my arms I’m bound to worry a lot, but the fact that I would’ve had that baby here. Now we have our little man”.

“We do” Merlin smiled as he put his hand on Morgana’s bump. “Our little man. He’ll be here soon. Twelve weeks”.

“I know” Morgana smiled as she kissed Merlin. “We need _as little stress as possible_ until then. Until he’s here with us, safe in our arms”.

“We do” Merlin agreed. “And we _are_ making sure that there is as little stress as possible. Well at least during a global pandemic”.

“Are graveyards open?”.

“I think they opened last week” Merlin said. “Let’s get Amhar then head off?”.

“Okay” Morgana shrugged as they both went upstairs. Merlin opened the door to Amhar’s room and morgana opened the curtains, looking over to the cot. 

“Where is he?” Merlin wondered. 

“Hi” Amhar grinned. He was sat on the chair at the table and banging his fists. 

“Oh no” Morgana groaned. 

“Well sugar” Merlin muttered. “He just climbed out his cot”.

“Yeah” Amhar nodded. 

“Looks like he’ll need his big boy bed soon then” Morgana smiled. After having a snack, Merlin drove them to the graveyard and swung Amhar between them while he giggled as they made their way to Arthur and Gwen’s headstones, bunch of flowers in hand each. 

“Hard to believe it” Morgana sighed as she stroked the dates on the headstones. **7th May 2019.**

“I know” Merlin agreed. “Yet at the same time, I can’t imagine it in any other way”.

“So, so much has happened” Morgana sighed. “I miscarried and now I’m pregnant again. He’s walking!”.

“You know, I always thought that we’d end up together” Merlin smiled. 

“And we did” Morgana kissed Merlin’s lips. “Our little family. Me, you, Amhar, and the baby”.

“We need to start thinking of a name for you, don’t we peanut?” Merlin said to Morgana’s bump, talking in his ‘baby voice’. 

“We’ll decide later” Morgana said turning away from Merlin. They headed home for dinner, played with Amhar quite a bit indoors given that it was cold outside now, clapped for caters at eight o’clock before putting Amhar to bed. The days were ridiculously long, sun rising at quarter past five and setting at eight forty. 

“Right, name time” Merlin said as he plonked himself on the sofa. Morgana grabbed her laptop while Merlin had a notepad. 

“Noah looks nice” Morgana remarked. “Any suggestions?”.

Merlin scratched his head. “Angus?”.

“Like the cat from Angus, Thongs and perfect snogging?” Morgana laughed. 

“Maybe not” Merlin cringed. “Archie?”.

Morgana pondered for a moment. “I like it. I’ll put it on the list. Harrison?”.

“We’re not naming him Archie Harrison” Merlin chuckled. “Is Archie Harrison even real?”.

“It was just a suggestion” Morgana snapped. “I’ve heard rumours that they hired a kid actor and the ‘real’ Archie is a doll. Adam. Could be shortened to Addie”.

“I’ll note it down” Merlin murmured. 

Morgana slammed her laptop down. “Look, this isn’t working. Not today. Are there any particular names you like? I personally want to use Mordred as a middle name”.

“Arthur?” Merlin suggested. “I was thinking, but then at the same time it’s too soon?”.

“It’s too soon” Morgana agreed. She sighed, groaned and stood up. “Look, I think we should just sleep on it. It’s been a long day, I’m tired. Pregnancy insomnia and all”.

“We’ve got plenty of time to choose a name anyway” Merlin said. “You’re only twenty-eight weeks”.

“We have” Morgana agreed as she rubbed her eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stumped my teacher in an online class too haha, luckily they weren’t pregnant and didn’t cry


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lockdown is finally over!

**Tomorrow is uncertain, who knows what it will bring. But one things for sure love, with you I have everything. And happily ever after is the way these stories go. Used to think that’s what I wanted but now I finally know. There’s no storm we can’t outrun, we will always find the sun. Leave the past and all it’s scars, a happy beginning now is ours**

_22nd May 2020_

The easing of lockdown had begun two days after the anniversary of Arthur and Gwen’s death, people now being allowed to sunbathe in a park and exercise more than once a day. The next day it was also decided that people were allowed to meet up for things such as team sports, as long as they socially distanced and were advised to wear face coverings in public. Merlin and Morgana were still cautious with Amhar and leaving the house, although after an eighteen month checkup with his consultant who looked after CDH patients, they could shield if they wanted, though children were shown to have very low transmission rates and not suffer that badly from COVID-19 so it was up to them. Nonetheless, nurseries remained closed, and Morgana was still staying at home as she didn’t want to affect the baby. 

Amhar was truly ready to become a big brother. Kara and Mike had their baby girl who they named Amelia, Noah was excited as she showed off his little sister on zoom calls and Amhar only became more excited for the baby to get there. Athena was beginning to smile quite often, Amhar happily paying peekaboo with her which Morgana and Mithian loved. There was also the new launch of an app called test and trace—which notified you if you had been in contact with a person who tested positive and therefore had to self isolate for two weeks. 

After a stressful week of teaching and Amhar was teething, getting his canine’s in so often wanted cuddles and comfort, biting almost _everything_ in sight. Even though he was weaned off the bottle ever since switching from formula to cows milk, Merlin and Morgana decided to let him have his milk in his bottle, even if he did bite off the teats on almost all of them. They were planning on getting new ones for the baby when they needed them so weren’t too bothered. 

“Okay, it is time to celebrate” Morgana decided as she switched the TV to youtube. She loaded up the ketchup song and they begun to dance, followed by the macarena. 

“AYYY MACARENA!” Merlin and Morgana shouted and turned around with a shout. A loud giggle erupted from behind the sofa, Merlin and Morgana glanced at each other and went to see what on Earth it was. 

“Did you hear that?” Merlin asked with a frown. 

“It sounded like Amhar” Morgana replied. 

A gasp followed by “uh oh!” was heard. 

“Amhar Tom Pendragon” Morgana said sternly. Whenever Morgana used her teacher voice, Amhar _knew_ he was (probably) in trouble. 

“Emwys”. Amhar walked out form behind the sofa with a sheepish grin, waving and saying “Hi Mummy”.

“What are you doing down here?” Morgana asked. Merlin tried his best not to snigger. 

“I woke up” Amhar said. 

“Did you climb out your cot?”.

“Maybe” Amhar admitted sheepishly. “I cwimb down da stairs awl by myself!”.

“Good for you!” Morgana faked enthusiasm. “Time for bed”.

“Why?” Amhar pouted. 

“Cause it’s nighttime” Morgana said. She picked him up and took him to the cot, making sure to close not only the door but also the top and bottom stair gates. She could’ve sworn that the door was left shut. Oh no. Amhar had worked out how to open the door. 

“Shit!” Morgana exclaimed. “Amhar can open the doors. We’re in _so much_ trouble”.

“Well we’ll have to get two more baby gates then? One for the bathroom, one for his room” Merlin shrugged. 

“We’ve got one at both ends of the stairs, leading to the kitchen and downstairs bathroom” Morgana counted. “We need one for the conservatory, one for the upstairs bathroom and Amhar’s room”.

“Our poor credit cards” Merlin sighed. 

“We need to start getting some things for the new baby too. Nappies, clothes” Morgana said. 

“I guess we ought to start with that” Merlin smiled. “Names too”.

“I know. I can’t believe I accidentally called Amhar Amhar Tom Pendragon” Morgana put her face in her hands. 

“It’s okay, don’t cry” Merlin said. “Look, you’re pregnant and forget things. We’re in lockdown. Coronabrain and all”.

“I ... I suppose so” Morgana sniffed and wiped her tears. “Coronabrain it is. We _really_ need to get out the house”.

“We do” Merlin agreed. “Why don’t we text Mithian? See if she wants to go out somewhere tomorrow”.

“Weather’s nice, we could do the beach” Morgana suggested. “Head to Weston Super Mare instead of Severn”.

“That sounds good. It’d be nice to see the other beaches around here. I think we ought to take the side off of Amhar’s cot”.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but I think so too”.

* * *

_23rd May 2020_

Mithian agreed that they would head to the beach on Saturday, Weston Super Mare. Merlin and Morgana had never been there before, yet Mithian had with Leon and they opted to meet there at around eleven in the morning. Athena would have her morning nap in the car and that way they could have fish and chips (or just chips in Merlin Morgana and Amhar’s case) for lunch. Before leaving, Merlin and Morgana put on their swimming stuff under their clothes—a simple pair of trunks for Merlin, a bikini for Morgana and a two piece sun and swim suit for Amhar with a crab on the top. After making sure to pack extra nappies and swim nappies for Amhar, towels, sunscreen, spare clothes, flip flops and a _lot_ of snacks. 

Just after ten, with everything piled into the car, Morgana drove them all to Weston Super Mare. Transmission rates were rare outside anyway, it wasn’t like Mithian and Leon had been leaving the house much apart from their daily walk. The only time Morgana and Merlin left the house was for Morgana’s twenty-eight week appointment and Merlin had to wait in the car with Amhar. After loading up the mountain buggy, they walked down to the beach and met with Mithian and Leon on the promenade. 

“Beach versus a pram, should be ... interesting” Mithian grimaced as she picked up Athena and put her in a baby wrap. 

“Right, we’ll go first” Leon said as he stretched his muscles. “Let’s go”.

“Easy enough” Merlin shrugged. Amhar still in the buggy, Merlin and Morgana lifted the buggy onto the sand and began to push. Leon pulled the pram down and awkwardly followed behind as he pulled the pram through the sand. 

“Fuck fuck fuck” Leon muttered as he followed Merlin and Morgana. “Well, that was tiring”.

“Meh” Merlin shrugged. “Right, picnic mats down and let’s set up”.

Mithian procured a rather large sun shelter tent and after putting Athena in the pram began to assemble it with Leon. 

“That thing is a bloody good idea” Morgana remarked as she took off her t-shirt. 

“I thought so” Mithian agreed as she sat down inside it with Athena. 

“Let’s make a sandcastle Amhar!” Merlin beamed as he took him out the buggy. 

“Oooh!” Amhar declared as he stomped his feet in the sand. 

“Do you want to hold her?” Mithian asked as Morgana sat down in the shade after rubbing suncream all over her bump. 

“Yes please” Morgana smiled. Mithian gently placed Athena in Morgana’s arms and watched as the boys ran around with a ball. 

“I never thought this would happen” Mithian remarked. “I knew Gwen from university and all, but still”.

“I get what you mean” Morgana agreed as she jiggled Athena in her arms. “Then again, there’s this whole coronavirus situation”.

“No one saw that coming” Mithian agreed with a chuckle. “Do you know if you’re going back?”.

“I’m working from home until summer” Morgana replied. “Merlin isnt going back either. All classes are remaining online, fourth and lower sixth are going back on the fifteenth but Merlin’s still off”. 

“That’s good” Mithian smiled. “I’m not back until January, hopefully we’ll all be back full time by then”.

“I hope so too” Morgana agreed with a smile. “Well, I’m going in the sea. You coming?”.

“Duh, it’s bloody boiling” Mithian chuckled as she put her sunglasses on. Mithian and Morgana sat at the edge of the water relishing the waves and holding Amhar and Athena in their laps, Merlin and Leon going deeper in the sea. 

The majority of the morning was spent splashing in the sea, followed by chips for lunch and then back in the sea once more, going home in time for Amhar’s nap. Life was _finally_ beginning to get _some_ sense of normality. 

* * *

_15th June 2020_

After getting home from the beach, Amhar’s cot side was taken off. The first night of him being in a toddler bed was rather difficult, he’d opened his door and sat there calling mummy and daddy. Morgana and Merlin immediately put him back in bed, reminding him that it was time to sleep. He no longer used the gro bag anymore as it was simply too hot, a heatwave engulfing the uk so Merlin and Morgana only gave him a small blanket. They let him choose a duvet cover for when it would be necessary, not for a while though with the way the weather was, and he chose a dinosaur sheet which he loved with a George pig duvet set. 

Over time, the ‘novelty’ of lockdown had run down. While Merlin and Morgana were lucky enough to not know anyone who had had coronavirus or died of it, it was still frustrating. Not being allowed to leave the house, having the same walks, not being able to meet up with people and there were only so many zoom calls that could be done before they began to get tiring. Merlin and Morgana’s both found themselves getting fed up with one another at times, and while they were an extremely strong couple, this was like nothing they had endured before or even _thought_ would happen. The lockdown blues had settled in. 


	21. Chapter 21

**Tears and fears and feeling proud, to say I love you right out loud. Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, I’ve looked at life that way. But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say I’ve changed. Well somethings lost but something’s gained—in living every day. I’ve looked at life from both sides now, from win and loose and still somehow. It’s life’s illusions I recall, I really don’t know life at all**

_30th June 2020_

Merlin was called into school for the last week to teach one “in person” lesson given that his subject was extremely important. He was given the option not to, though both he and Morgana agreed that having some time away from each other would be good. Morgana was thirty-six weeks pregnant and extremely scary to both Merlin and Amhar, she was hormonal and very ready to have the baby by now, even though the baby wouldn’t be classed as full term until the next week. 

While Merlin went to work, Morgana took Amhar to Tesco to begin stocking up on baby items. The panic-buying from lockdown (1.0) had finally ended and hopefully things wouldn’t be as mad as they had been proclaimed on social media—all the shops having social distancing, a one way system, having to wipe down the trolley, having barriers to ensure the system remained one way and even a queue that was said to be _hours_ long. While now it was less strenuous, there was mask wearing enforced for all shoppers over eleven provided that they didn’t have an exemption from wearing masks. Despite this, many people abused the systems being “anti-maskers” and walking around with their nose hanging out or not wearing a mask, as it was illegal for people to challenge someone as to why they were wearing a mask. 

After parking in one of the parent and child spaces, Morgana put her mask on, took Amhar out the car and grabbed a large trolley, hooking her bag on the hook and walking in to Tesco. 

“Woah!” Amhar declared. As he looked around, everyone was staying away and wearing masks. “Mummy, what that?”.

“That’s a face mask” Morgana said as she wiped the whole trolley down. “Now, what do we need to buy?”.

“Toys” Amhar declared. “And chocwate!”.

“We’ll see about that, okay” Morgana chucked. 

“Why?” Amhar pouted. 

“Cause mummy said so, okay?” Morgana muttered. She quickly loaded up the _notes_ app where she had her shopping list. “Right. Milk, shouldn’t need formula I’m sure hospital will give it _if_ I need, newborn nappies, big boy nappies”.

“I big boy!” Amhar grinned. 

“You are!” Morgana agreed. “Let’s get the baby things first, okay?”.

“Yeah” Amhar agreed as Morgana pushed him to the baby aisle. 

“Oooh! Mine” Amhar declared as he saw his usual nappy pack, soon distracted by some pull ups that had lightning McQueen on them. 

“Yeah, you have those nappy pants” Morgana agreed as she put them in the trolley. “We can try some of the pull ups with cars too, seeing as you want them”.

“Tank oooo!” Amhar cheered. 

“Now we need some for the baby” Morgana said. 

“Peanut” Amhar said as he rested his head on Morgana’s bump. 

“Why are you so cute” Morgana smiled under her mask and took a photo. “Mummy should get some size 0 pampers then?”.

“Yeah” Amhar nodded. 

“I’ll get two packs just in case” Morgana decided. “And a size one. Now we need water wipes for baby, pampers wipes for you and baby clothes”.

Amhar was very excited to choose the baby clothes alongside some for himself. In the end, Morgana bought a few packs of rather fun baby grows—some batman, superman and Star Wars baby sets. For a while now Merlin and Morgana’s had been buying newborn and tiny baby clothes While she did have a lot of clothes left over from Amhar, they were more from 0-3 months and only a few pieces of newborn given that he was way too big for tiny baby. The hospital had provided some gowns for him when he had his surgery, having gotten some from the pyjama fairies too. Those along with his hospital wristband was kept in his memory box, and naturally wouldn’t be used for the baby. 

“Mummy needs ice cream Amhar” Morgana said. “And other junk food”.

“Me too” Amhar said. “Chocwate?”.

“We’ll see” Morgana raised her eyebrows. “Let’s see what they have, okay?”.

“Okay mummy” Amhar agreed. As soon as they got to the ice cream section Morgana began to throw everything in—skittles ice cream, twister, Oreo, Cadbury’s choc ice, cookie dough ice cream, kinder and a lot of Fab ice cream. The shelves were beginning to look empty before Morgana had been, let alone after with Amhar sending a pout her way. 

“Okay baby, you can have the Peppa Pig ice cream” Morgana smiled. She turned around and began to manoeuvre the heavy trolley around. 

“Oh no! No ice cream!” some random woman remarked. She took one look at Morgana’s trolley and then the shelves. Morgana started crying. 

“You ... can ... have ... some ...” Morgana sobbed. “Of ... mine.. I’ll ... share ... it”.

“No it’s okay” the woman insisted. “You’re pregnant, I remember that time. How long left?”.

“Four weeks” Morgana smiled and wiped her eyes. 

“That’s lovely. Mine are all grown up now. Boy or girl?”.

“BRUVVER!!” Amhar squealed. 

“It’s a boy” Morgana chuckled. “He’s rather excited about it. One of my friends has a four month old who he loved seeing on zoom. His best friend from nursery just had a baby sister so he’s rather excited”.

“Aww. He’s a little sweetie”.

“Yeah” Amhar beamed. “Mummy has house for baby in tummy”.

“He’s rather advanced! How old is he?”.

“I two!” Amhar said proudly as he put up four fingers. 

“Not yet sweetie” Morgana shook her head and curled down three fingers. “You’re two _after_ the baby comes. You’ll be two in September”.

“I’m sure he’ll make an _excellent_ big brother” the woman smiled. 

Merlin only had one class to teach and came home rather quickly. He quietly unlocked the door given that Amhar was likely to be napping, Morgana was too. Merlin felt as though he was walking around on egg shells as of late. She spend half the nights awake, the baby squishing her organs had made the morning sickness come back, it was absolutely boiling at over 30°C, baby moved onto her bladder and was constantly hormonal. While usually Morgana was rather calm tempered, as of late she had been snapping at the smallest things. Like last night, Morgana decided she wanted a high school musical marathon, only for Merlin to start with the third movie accidentally instead of the first. Morgana absolutely lost it (and then again when watching the third one, crying over how the fifth and upper sixth form _didn’t_ get to have their send off, at the same time unable to believe that it had been ten years since she could officially leave school). Merlin looked around downstairs yet didn’t find anyone, going upstairs instead. He checked on Amhar, sleeping away in his cot-bed while sprawled out with his bunny and bat before going to the mater bedroom. The door was open and Morgana was huffing and sighing, a suitcase sat on the bed alongside with the baby bag. Their room was rather messy, pyjamas, lounge sets, baby-grows and packs of nappies _covering_ the bed. 

“What are you doing?” Merlin chuckled as he scratched his head. 

“Looking at starting to pack the hospital bag, but I gave up” Morgana sighed. “I Dunno about you but I want ice cream and a Disney Descendants marathon”.

“That sounds good” Merlin agreed. “Am I allowed any?”.

“Of course you are” Morgana scoffed. They were around half way through the first movie when Amhar woke up so went into the garden and filled up the paddling pool and played with Amhar, cherishing the moments and having dinner out in the garden. Amhar went to bed shortly after eight, having a nice warm cow cup of milk and a relaxing bath (which resulted in both Merlin and Morgana getting absolutely soaked. Not that it mattered—it was nice to cool off).

“Holy shit! Is this like the new high school musical!” Morgana exclaimed as they watched descendants. 

“It seems that way” Merlin agreed. “I mean, I know that sixteen year olds and whatnot wtach high school musical now, but we were the OG”.

“We weren’t gangster’s, Merlin” Morgana scoffed. 

“What does OG even mean?” Merlin asked. 

“Original gangster” Morgana deadpanned. 

“Oh” Merlin facepalmed. “Well we were the intended. Twelve when the first one came out”.

“It’s still going strong” Morgana agreed. “I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of the kids made TikToks of the last day to ‘we’re all in this together’”.

“Probably” Merlin shrugged. “Well, this seems to be Amhar’s generation’s version”.

“And the baby’s”.

“And the baby’s” Merlin echoed. They continued with the marathon as they begun to play movie two, Morgana went to the loo followed by Merlin and got some more snacks and drinks ready for part two. Adjusting the fan and checking her phone, Morgana sat down on the sofa and put her feet up. 

“Foot rub?”.

“Mmm. Please” Morgana replied with a moan. “Let’s start part two then”. Morgana was about to press _play_ when her phone began ringing. 

“Who the fuck is it? At this time!!” Merlin exclaimed. Morgana picked up her phone and paled. 

“It’s Morgause” Morgana whispered. “Look, I. I’d better answer it. She wouldn’t call if it wasn’t important”. Merlin agreed and told Morgana to pick up the phone, she hit _accept_ and placed it to her ear. 

“Hello?” Morgana said. 

“Ah! Sister! I’ve been calling for ages”.

“Less than thirty seconds” Morgana rolled her eyes. “Is everything okay?”.

“No, it’s ... it’s _mum_ ”.

“What!” Morgana shrieked. 

“She’s alive. Shes _fucking alive_!” Morgause said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *plays music from when Luke finds out Darth Vader is his father* part five is called STAGES OF MOTHERHOOD and is out on Monday. Ever since leaving high school ive cried at high school musical 3 🥲

**Author's Note:**

> Now, I’m no parent, but I’ve had to move a car seat from one car to the other before and it is EXHAUSTING! I was going to the gym regularly and still ended up winded! Also wanted to add, today is the one year anniversary since I finished watching Merlin for the first time too!


End file.
